EveryDayLife

Why We Homeschool

2012-01-01T15:25:00.000-05:00

by Lori Hatcher

Thirty years ago when homeschooling first reappeared on the educational radar screen, it was limited primarily to families who appeared to be, shall I say, unusual. One family that achieved national recognition left their suburban lifestyle and moved to a goat farm in upstate New York to rear and educate their sons. The boys did quite well academically and ultimately secured full tuition scholarships to prestigious Ivy League colleges. The results were great, but what average family wants to go live on a goat farm for the purpose of educating their children?

Today, homeschooling has once again proven itself as a viable educational option. I say "once again," because for 200 years in this country homeschooling the only educational option. All of our founding fathers were quite well educated using the tutorial method. State-sanctioned "public education" did not come into full use until the late 1800's.

As the homeschooling mother of two teenaged girls, I am often asked the question, "So, why DO you homeschool?" While my answers are not the answers of all homeschooling families, I believe they capture the essence of why so many families choose to educate their children at home.

We homeschool because it gives us:

A rich family life-
The nature of homeschooling lends itself to activities that the whole family can do together. Instead of being age- and grade-segregated, all members of the family explore an area of science, history, culture, or the arts together. We've visited the places where the Civil War began and ended, watched loggerhead turtle babies released to the sea, toured the museums in Washington, D.C., and lay on our backs in the grass to track the stars in the summer sky. In addition to the educational lessons my children have learned, we have had the opportunity to build relationships with each other as we built family memories.

The chance for our children to pursue their interests- Because homeschooling is more time efficient, our children have more time to pursue their areas of interest once the academic portion of their school day is complete. One daughter is fascinated by the political process. The flexibility of the homeschool setting allowed her to travel to Florida in 2004 to campaign for former President George W. Bush in the I-40 corridor of Orlando with a group of 100 homeschooled students. Another daughter loves children and swimming. One day she hopes to be a physical therapist. Our homeschooling schedule allowed her to work with a USC grant project teaching autistic and mentally retarded children to feel comfortable in the water.

The freedom to be children-
When other children ask my girls if they have homework, they reply, "ALL our work is homework!" It is a funny way to comment on the fact that their homework is built into their school day. Because they have the benefit of someone working one-on-one with them in challenging subject areas, extra remedial work and practice is not necessary once they have completed their assignments. This allows them time to play outside with their friends, read for fun, daydream, and generally just be a kid.

The chance to disciple our children-
We have the freedom to open our school day with prayer and Bible reading, stop during the day to address an area of sin or disobedience, or deal with an area of character development using the principles found in God's Word. We take time in our school day to cook a meal for a sick friend, visit a neighbor in the hospital, and serve our church. We memorize Bible verses as a part of our school work, not in addition to it. I learned the Ten Commandments for the first time as I helped the girls learn them for AWANA. Now that they're teenagers, we work our way through devotionals that teach them how to keep themselves pure, be a witness to their friends, and impact the world for Christ. Our daughters see us living out our faith day in and day out because they are with us.

The chance to live life at a slower pace-
One friend shared with me that her family life was so busy that between school, homework, extracurricular activities, church activities, and the rarely shared family meal, that she didn't even have time to bathe her children during the week. Our lifestyle, while still busy, makes time for home-cooked meals with friends, sleeping in after a late night, and read-alouds after dinner.

A chance to be well socialized-
Because they have been taught in a learning environment that regularly reaches beyond a classroom, my children can communicate and interact well with people of all ages, not just their peers. They learned to talk with the elderly as we visited a nursing home every week for a year and a half. They learned to enjoy young children as they volunteered at summer camp and Vacation Bible School. They learned to relate well to adults as they worked alongside them and learned from them in various campaign events and ministry opportunities. Imagine my surprise to hear my daughter interact in an informed and articulate way with her Senator regarding a recent education bill he had introduced! The world is not age-segregated, so my children need to be able to relate to people of all ages and walks of life. Homeschooling has given them that opportunity.

I am the first to say that homeschooling, like any other educational alternative, is not for every family. It is right for mine, and it might be right for yours. I encourage you to evaluate your current situation, pray with your spouse, and ask God to show you what is best for your family. If you feel led to consider homeschooling, I encourage you to do some research. Check out some books from the library, talk to a homeschooling friend, do a web search on it. "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all men liberally, without finding fault, and it shall be given to him." (James 1:5) NKJV God bless you as you seek His will for your family!

A 17-year veteran homeschooler of two daughters, Lori Hatcher shares life with her youth pastor husband David. She is the author of the book Joy in the Journey -- Words of Encouragement for Homeschooling Moms, available in early 2012 from Mardel.Com. Visit her blog, Be Not Weary at www.lori-benotweary.blogspot.com for more encouragement.

I Stopped Giving It All at Christmas

2012-01-01T15:22:00.001-05:00

By Lara Krupicka

“Please let me give flowers to my teacher,” my daughter begged that first year we were introduced to Teacher Appreciation Week. But out in my yard the only blooms visible were rows of wilting daffodils.

“Can it wait a few weeks?” I asked. My daughter cried. Within a few minutes, however, I had her excited at the prospect of the bright pink peonies and deep purple irises yet to bloom. More tears were shed that week as she daily recounted the flowers and gifts other children brought for the teacher. But, two weeks later she returned from school bursting to share how her flowers brightened the teacher’s day and her empty vase. That day I learned the value of bucking tradition when it comes to gifts.

If you’re like me, sometime in late October the anxiety begins to build. By Thanksgiving it’s a palpable knot in your stomach, and by mid-December it has become full-out panic. In the name of tradition and expectation we push ourselves to stressful heights during the annual holiday season. And chances are, at the end of each one we vow not to do it again. Yet October rolls around and… stress again. What to do? Change it up! Stop the old, stressful tradition and start a new one. Stop giving gifts to everyone on your list at Christmas. Instead, give your gifts of appreciation to people like your hairdresser, the mailman and yes, the school teacher, at other times of the year. You’ll find that spreading out your gratitude will result in benefits for both your recipients and for you.

Thoughtfulness

You’ll benefit by having the ability to be more thoughtful in choosing your gifts. With a self-imposed, flexible deadline, rather than one dictated by the calendar, you can find space to be creative and considerate. There will be no more last-minute dashes to the store to grab some old something for the doctor or babysitter.
Not only that, but the thoughtfulness becomes more apparent when the gift does not arrive at the traditionally appointed time. A few years ago I started giving teacher gifts during October and November. Having seen the mounds of gifts some teachers receive in December and the less-than-enthusiastic reception they induce behind closed doors, there is no doubt tradition equates with obligation for some people. And that defeats the purpose. My October gifts are separated from the season of obligation, and as such, stand a better chance of being appreciated for their sincerity. Rather than showing up in obligatory fashion, my gifts arrive unannounced, unexpected.

One year, my youngest daughter particularly enjoyed giving her teacher a fall gift. She giggled as we created the padded pumpkin, wrapping a roll of toilet paper (more giggles) in cushy batting and patterned fabric. And she proudly inserted the stick she’d found in our yard in the pumpkin’s top as a “stem”. The next day she stood erect in the line at school, clasping the gift bag to her chest. Later that afternoon, she leaned into my arm as I read the note from the teacher. “Thank you for the adorable pumpkin. It’s the only fall decoration I have for my desk. How thoughtful of you.” It made not only the teacher’s day, but my daughter’s as well.

Focus on the Recipient

Taking the time to think through and act on what would be most meaningful to our beneficiaries can greatly enhance the value of a simple gift. When during the year could they use the appreciation and encouragement the most? What gift or gesture would speak to them personally? Putting the focus on our recipient means watching, listening and learning about them in an effort to truly appreciate them individually. Instead of following our timeline or our “to do” list in a mechanical fashion, we act on a timeframe more suited to those we seek to bless. That speaks volumes. It elevates the value of the gift by virtue of being other-focused.

As church nursery coordinator I saw the need for this in my gifts to the nursery volunteers. I baked them cinnamon rolls in December in a nod to tradition. But then in February, when cabin fever reached its height and the end of the term seemed far away, I gave each of them a gift: an encouraging book I’d selected for specifically for each of them, along with a hand-written note expressing my gratitude. The impact of my timing led one of my volunteers to come thank me for my encouragement to her.

Freedom and Peace

Other rewards for bestowing appreciation gifts outside the frenzy of the winter holidays include freedom and peace. My holiday gift-buying list shrinks by at least a dozen when I shift the timing of my gifts of gratitude. This frees up space for baking, or entertaining, or even shopping for gifts for family members. It reduces the load of holiday preparations to a manageable size. I’m less stressed and it shows in everything I do during December.

We need to rethink giving our gifts of appreciation at Christmas. It may mean explaining to people our intentions, to counter any expectations related Christmas gift-giving traditions. But in doing so, we’ll lighten our own load and open the door to a season of peace and joy. We’ll bring our gifts into an open time frame; one better suited to the needs of those we’re giving to. And we’ll have more time, both for considering the gifts we give to those we appreciate and for those gifts remaining on our list for the holidays.

Why not give yourself a break this year and take appreciation gifts off your holiday “to do” list? You might come off as the best giver ever when you spread out the blessings over the entire year.

Lara Krupicka is a wife and mother to three tween girls. She writes and speaks regularly about gift giving, hospitality, and finding simple ways to live the abundant life Jesus promises us. Lara is also the author of Pampering Gifts: Crafting a Ministry of Treating People Well for Less.

Loving Your Man as God Loves You

2012-01-01T15:20:00.001-05:00

by Cindi McMenamin

I was once a wife who was quick to point out my husband’s faults. Quick to let him know when he was falling short of my expectations. Quick to let him know when he wasn’t loving me as God does.

But, when I turned it around and started trying to love my husband as God loves me, that’s when things began to change in our marriage. I began focusing less on his faults and more on my own…and my own need for God’s grace in my life.

Can you imagine what marriages would look like today if both partners practiced unconditional, sacrificial and persevering love? There would be no strife, no stress, no bitterness, no built-up baggage. There would be no devastation or divorce. There would be two people, giving up their rights to themselves so they can serve one another. There would be a perfect picture in our love toward each other, of God’s love toward us.

Take a look at God’s never failing, unending, persevering love for you and see if you can’t try modeling this to your husband:

• He has promised He will never leave you.
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)
Can you say this to your husband, and truly mean it as God means it toward you?

• He is always thinking only the best about you.
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.” (Psalm 139:17-18)
Can you say that your mind is always filled with only good thoughts about your husband?

• He is gentle toward you when you’re broken.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)
Are you gentle toward your husband even when he is angry or unlovable – which is how he often responds when he’s hurt?

• He promises nothing will ever come between the two of you.

“(Nothing) will be able to separate us from the love of God...” (Romans 8:39)
Are there any conditions or exceptions in your mind when it comes to loving your husband? Is there something in the back of your mind that he could do that would end it for the two of you? God holds none of those reservations about you. He has promised nothing – that includes nothing you can do – will ever come between you and God. Can you say the same to your husband?

• He delights in you, quiets you with His love, and sings over you.

“He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17)
Can you delight in your husband and rejoice over him, simply because of who he is – one who is loved by his heavenly father and by you? Think about the joy and comfort you have, knowing God feels that way about you. Now what would it add to your husband’s life if he knew you truly delighted in him?

• He loved you so much He was willing to die so He wouldn’t have to live without you.

“For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
Have you cemented your love for your husband so deeply that you are convinced you would not want to live without him? In many ways, that’s how God felt toward you. He found a way so that the two of you would never have to be separated.

• He loved you in spite of yourself and still does.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) .
Would you show sacrificial love to your husband even if he didn’t deserve it? Even if he had turned his back on you? Scripture tells us: “This is the kind of love we are talking about – not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

“My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other.” (First John 4:10-11, The Message)

Now, from what you’ve seen about God’s persevering love for you, can you love your husband:

Even when he’s annoying you?
Even when he’s inconsiderate?
Even when he’s clearly ‘unlovable’?
Even when he’s clearly wrong and unrepentant?

Because we are not like God who never grows weary or wounded, we must know how to renew love for our husbands. We simply can’t wait for the feelings to be there. I’m so glad God doesn’t depend on His feelings for us. He has determined to love us, regardless. We must love our husbands that way, too, because the world will take it out of us. Pain will take it out of us. The everyday stuff of life will take it out of us. But, God alone can replenish it in us.

In Isaiah 40:28-31, we are told that the God who never grows tired or weary “gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak” and “those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” How do you renew that love you once had for your husband? How do you get back that delight in him when he – or something in this life – has taken it out of you? By waiting on the Lord for His strength to love your husband through you and by focusing on what first drew the two of you together.

Next time you’re tempted to start listing what your husband is doing wrong, I encourage you to start listing what you love about him. It’s what God would do if He were in your shoes.

Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and the author of several books including When Women Walk Alone, Women on the Edge, and When A Woman Inspires Her Husband (from which this article is an excerpt). She and her husband, Hugh, have also co-authored the book When Couples Walk Together. For resources and free articles of encouragement to strengthen your soul or your marriage, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.

Recovering Genuine Companionship

2011-11-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

by John and Stasi Eldredge

John has a circle of things he loves to do. It includes fly- fishing, rock climbing, working on cars, hunting, reading, smoking cigars, and just about anything with adventure in it. I have a circle of things I love to do. It encompasses going to movies, working in and enjoying my garden, talking, taking walks, worshipping, and reading novels.

Oh, dear. Hopefully, somewhere, we can find some overlap. I am also the mother of three sons. I live in a house hold of men. I love them passionately but it can be lonely at times being the only woman around. Do some of you feel that way too? It isn’t easy to find places to connect with them and to share in their lives. I don’t play Xbox. I’m not a hunter. I’m not a rock climbing, mountain biking, backpacking, snowboarding teenager. Often I don’t even understand them. I long for real relationships with them and have been praying for ways to connect.

And John just gave me a Ping- Pong table for Christmas. Ladies, I know what you are thinking—doghouse gift; what a miss! But John knew what he was doing. My family had a Ping-Pong table while I was growing up and I spent hours playing with my brother and with my dad. Those are sweet memories for me, times of real connection with my family. The present of a Ping- Pong table was an invitation to connect. Now I am playing with my sons and my husband. Team games. Single games. It doesn’t matter games, because we are spending time together doing something we all enjoy. Big sigh. Yay!

I also love water. I love being near it, on it, and in it. Pools, ponds, lakes, rivers, streams, oceans, and even bathtubs! All of it. Diving in, putting my head under, swimming as deeply as I can breathes life into me. I’m happy sitting next to a beautiful mountain lake; I am happier paddling a canoe on top of it, but happier still diving into it. We have found ways to share our love of water. First, John introduced me to canoes, those wobbly precarious silent crafts that can explore shallow channels and mysterious inlets. How many adventures we have had paddling around lakes, bays, and rivers! He got me into my first kayak; I was so close to the water I was sitting in it but somehow still remained dry. It was while we were kayaking as a family that we came so breathlessly close to a humpback whale; I felt I’d crossed back into Eden.

Over the years we have found other ways to build companionship. We love to travel. We love going out for Chinese food. We share with each other movies that we like, or something from a book that has stirred us. John loves the wilderness; we found a way to enjoy it together using lodges. In this way we can spend a day out on the trail, but at night I get a shower and a bed!

And, we still enjoy many of our loves alone, or with other friends. There is no need to feel jealous that your spouse loves to do things without you. There is simply no way you can be everything to each other; your hearts are too vast and your interests are too diverse or you to “be one in everything.” It would be weird if it were otherwise. And of course you want your spouse to have a “full cup,” to be filled and happy and well; they will be so much easier to live with. And they won’t be looking to you to make them happy. So good grief, do not fight their enjoyment of other things or other people! Sometimes I [Stasi] would feel that I was in competition with John’s close friends and other interests.

How freeing to come to understand that that was not the case. The place I hold in John’s
heart is not up for grabs. (But John had to reassure me this was so, and God needed to move in my heart so I could believe it.) There is an ebb and flow to the companionship of a marriage. During hunting season, I don’t expect to see John much. But afterward, I do expect him to come home and re engage with me! There are seasons when the two of us are “connecting” well and seasons when we aren’t. What you want to do is create an environment where over time and with intentionality, you are nurturing companionship.

Every day is unrealistic; once a month isn’t often enough. Somewhere in between.
This can feel a little awkward if it has been a while since the two of you spent time together. Initiate anyway, and don’t be put off if your first few efforts aren’t warmly received. A friend tried to get her husband to enjoy bubble baths; that was a miss. Watching American Idol might be a miss. Bass fishing might be a miss. But you are going to have to find some meeting place together. Tennis. Beachcombing. Vietnamese food. A favorite TV show. Scrabble. Square dancing. Do you ever read together? (One suggestion: Maybe you two could read “Love and War” together and talk about it chapter by chapter.)

Maybe you should just ask your spouse what they’d like to do. Our suggestion is to explore this together. Find those intersections of life that you each enjoy and both can share.

Excerpted from Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge Copyright © 2009 by John and Stasi Eldredge. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

The Hold of Hoarding

2011-11-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

By Johanna Tooke

Maybe one of God’s greatest gifts to us is misery and suffering. After all, without them we’d continue to walk obliviously through life as though nothing were wrong. Like any normal human being I was doing my best to avoid undue pain. My strategy was a simple one: Do good, make things look good, and life will be good.

At all costs (literally at times) I wanted to avoid repeating pain or remembrance of it from life’s past. What’s more, I was convinced if I saved anything from my life that had represented a good memory or a happy time, somehow the darker times would fade out with the tangible memory of things from happy times. As if that weren’t enough, I had reasoned by having a passel of possessions I could single-handedly create happy memories.

My strategy was foiled by the time it took to not only keep track of, care for and organize the possessions, but create the happy memories in between. My memories- “instead of happy” were becoming prominently miserable. This problem of mine was hoarding or in kinder terms- excessive saving.

Hoarding had never even been a consideration in my litany of life dilemmas. Among the complaints on my exhaustive list were: never enough time to exercise, a lack of money to buy organizing essentials, a lack of time to organize and have a workable system, a husband who lacked a vision to see the potential behind all of my belongings and moreover a vision of what could be done with them to glorify God. Yes, I had wrapped religion into being a justifiable reason to keep whatever I deemed worthy.

I knew I kept a lot, but I also believed I was honoring God by having the items. When in all reality, I was trying to play God by keeping things and hoping I wouldn’t have to depend on Him for the things “I could handle.”

Since hoarding had never even entered into my conscientiousness, all I knew was I was miserable. Each consecutive day seemed harder then the day prior and circumstances seemed dimmer. Waking up in the morning was stifling and meandering through the day felt more like a convoluted maze. I began feverishly reading self help books on organizing and de-cluttering. Several years later and heaps mounting higher than ever before, I felt hopeless. As I swirled in the abyss of confusion, I called a professional organizer as a final effort.

Without mincing words she told me what my husband had all along, “Whoa you have a lot of stuff.” Okay, so she couldn’t stop exclaiming in between breaths how much I had. Her reaction to my basement sent me reeling. We made a plan to help me stop the influx of stuff and begin the outtake. Once we parted ways, I spent every spare moment doing my best to clean and cull. Bravely I’d pack another box full of things we weren’t using, ready to be hauled off. My efforts seemed to be paying off. Except I noticed instead of experiencing freedom, I was feeling suffocated and smothered by this new lifestyle.

Still determined, I continued to zealously makeover our home. That was until one day I had a stomach ache I couldn’t shake. When the pain was intolerable a visit to the emergency room was in order. A couple of days later in the hospital, I felt as though there was more than a bug that had paid me a visit. I was reminded of Psalm 23:2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters.” While I didn’t have angels hovering over my hospital bed delivering a message, I encountered a stillness I hadn’t known for some time. Moreover, I had gotten to spend time praying and reading my Bible, disciplines I had abandoned until the house was placed in proper order.

Before I headed home I recommitted myself to be faithful in reading my Bible, journaling and giving God my day before it took off without me. The next morning I flipped open my Bible to the ribbon that held its place in the New Testament. That day’s reading was in Matthew 23. I was caught by the words in verse 26: “Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.”

“Wait,” I thought, “the Bible does have a thing or two to say about cleaning house.” After calling upon a wiser friend in Christ, I confirmed what I had suspected: I had been cleaning house in precisely the opposite order Jesus had intended. I had been so immersed in scouring, decorating, organizing, and saving ALL for the outside- I had given hardly any thought to the inside. At once I felt relief wash over me with a healthy dose of insufficiency to humbly level me; leveling me to the foot of the cross where my real help could be found.

Three years have passed since my hospital visit. Since then trailer loads of things have backed out of our driveway. As a family we are still vigilantly attempting to live with less. Now, instead of turning only to man’s wisdom to weave my way out of the colossal messes, I turn to God’s Word. Regardless of the battle, we fight with the same weapons. “The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.” (2 Corinthians 10:4)

Johanna Tooke lives in Forsyth, Montana with her husband Ryan, and three children: Gracie (10); and twins Royce and Katie (7). In between family, friends and country living, Johanna leads Bible Studies for girls and women. Her hope is to encourage women of all ages in their walk of faith with Jesus Christ. For more on Johanna’s journey, go to www.johannatooke.com.

Editor’s Note: Hoarding can be a sign that an individual needs more help than a book or a friend can provide. If you know someone who hoards, please visit The Institute for Challenging Disorganization (www.challengingdisorganization.org) for resources.

If you need a little extra push to get organized, please consider purchasing one of these two resources by our own Proverbs 31 Ministries writers: “I Used to Be So Organized”
by Glynnis Whitwer and “The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized” by Karen Ehman.

Count Your Blessings

2011-11-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By LeAnn Rice

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his steadfast love endures forever!
(Psalm 118:1)

His steadfast love endures forever! Reason number one to be thankful!

All of us have good days and bad days. It’s part of life. But no matter how bad the bad days are, we can always hold on to this truth: The King is still on the throne and His love is steadfast and true and always. You simply can’t escape it!

As a young widow with a child, I experienced many “bad days” in the past 14 years (especially during the toddler years). There were days when I thought I wouldn’t make it another 24 hours without some help. But God never left my side and, over the years I started to notice the little blessings that each day held.

Whether you are experiencing the loss of a loved one, chronic illness, financial hardship, addiction, marital stress or other painful situations, you can find something to be grateful for each day. Looking for these blessings will refocus your thoughts toward Him, instead of your situation.

Honestly, this hasn’t always been easy. I have had days when all I could find to be grateful for was that the sun was shining or that I could actually get myself out of bed that morning. But, day by day I forced myself to count my blessings and eventually, I started to notice them all around me.

You may not be experiencing a rough patch. You may just be in the midst of a “normal” but hectic life and have a desire to develop an attitude of gratitude. Thanksgiving is a great time to focus on the things we are thankful for and get into the habit of thankfulness! Isn’t it easy to complain about the things that are inconvenient, frustrating, not going our way, etc? Just this week I found myself complaining about my piles of laundry. I should have been grateful that I have running water and a working washer and dryer when so many in our world do not have these items that I take for granted.

What about you? Do you struggle to notice the simple blessings in the midst of your hectic days? Are you experiencing a challenging time and really need to see some “good” right about now?

Here are a few practical ways to count your blessings that may become a new Thanksgiving tradition in your home.

Create a Blessing Box- Make or purchase a simple or ornate box (if you have kids, perhaps they can make and decorate one). Place cute notes or strips of paper, along with a pen, beside the box. Display the box, paper and pen in a location where everyone will see it several times a day. I like to place mine in the center of my kitchen table. At least once each day have everyone in the family write something they have to be grateful for on a strip of paper and place it inside the box. Do this throughout the year and then read the strips together in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving.

* Keep a Blessing Journal

Keep a journal beside your bed. Before you go to bed each night, write down at least three things that happened to you that day that you are grateful for. It could be as simple and wonderful as a child’s smile or laughter. It could be that you had enough money to fill your gas tank. Maybe a long soaking rain started right after you did some planting. Write down anything that you were grateful for that day. When you are having a rough day, pull out your journal and read through your blessings as a reminder that there is much to be grateful for, even in the midst of life’s challenging circumstances.

* Give a Good Night Blessing

When you tuck your kids in at night, ask them to tell you one good thing about their day. This ends their day on a positive note and gets them in the habit of noticing the blessings. Perhaps, keep a journal beside their beds as well!

* Create a Blessing Chain

You know those paper chains kids make in school? Make one out of blessings! Cut up strips of red and green paper a few weeks before Thanksgiving. Have your kids write down blessings on the strips and then staple together to form a chain. When you decorate your Christmas tree, place your blessing chain on the tree, around the bottom of the tree or on the mantle. Your decorations will be covered in blessings! This makes a great conversation piece, and provides the opportunity to share the Gospel with visitors!

* Make a Blessing Tree

Instead of making a chain out of the strips of paper, punch holes in the strips, tie a pretty ribbon through the hole, and then hang strips of blessings on a tree. You can do this for Thanksgiving or Christmas, just select the color of paper and ribbons to match the occasion! You can even use a large twig with lots of branches as your tree, or a houseplant, or make one on poster paper and tape on your blessings.

* Give a Treasury of God’s Promises

If you know someone who’s going through a difficult time, consider creating a box for them and fill it with God’s promises personalized just for them. Imagine opening the box and reading, “My plan for your future, Gabriel, is filled with hope.” I have created a free template with 100 of God’s promises ready for you to customize. Simply purchase or create a box, personalize the promises, print and cut them into strips, fold the strips and place in the box, and then tie the box with a beautiful ribbon. Perfect gift for any occasion! You can find the free template by visiting www.SheCooks.org and clicking on “Resources.” Scroll down to the middle of the page and you will see the template.

Sweet friends, I pray that your blessings will be too numerous to count and that God will reveal Himself to you in the most unexpected ways.

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives with her 17-year-old son, Nick, and their ornery cat, Angel, in a small town just outside of Charlotte, NC. LeAnn is co-author of the book “Untangling Christmas: Your Go-To Guide for a Hassle-Free Holiday,” an e-book filled with recipes, organization and gift suggestions, as well as tangible outreach ideas and ways to seek our Savior during the holiday. LeAnn shares recipes, grace, and southern hospitality on www.SheCooks.org and hope and inspiration on her site www.AWidowsMight.org.

My Lips are Concealed

2011-10-01T11:14:00.000-04:00

By Cynthia Brown Cooksey

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, But only what is helpful for building others up, According to their needs,That it may benefit those who listen”(Ephesians 4:29)NIV.

I rummaged through my purse in the seat next to me as I sat waiting for the traffic light to turn green. My lips were dry and cracking from the bitter cold conditions, and I was trying to find my Chap Stick for quick relief. The light turned green, and traffic began to move. With my eyes now on the road, I kept blindly feeling for the tiny tube as I accelerated with the flow of cars.

Instead of the Chap Stick, I came upon what I thought was my lip gloss. Thankful for anything that could provide relief to my irritated lips, I grabbed the tube from the bottom of my purse. Still watching the road ahead, I unscrewed the cap and used the sponge applicator to rub the moist balm onto my lips.

At the next traffic light, I looked in the rear view mirror to check my application of lip gloss. Something did not feel quite right, and I wondered what was wrong. To my surprise, when I looked in the mirror I realized that I had applied ivory toned concealer instead of lip gloss. My lips were now the same color as the skin surrounding them!

As I looked for a tissue to wipe away my mistake, I thought about the fact that sometimes it would be best if my lips really were concealed. I recalled many times when being silent would have been a much better choice than speaking my mind. The reflection in my mirror reminded me that I frequently speak harshly to my husband or children and say things to them that I would never say to others outside my home. When stressed or frustrated, I submit to the urge to "say the last word" during an argument. More often than not, the "last word" should be eliminated from my vocabulary. There are other times when the problem might be the tone I use to speak to my loved ones; in other words, it's not what I say, but rather how I say it.

The Bible has many lessons on how we should talk to others and the types of conversations we should be having with them. Here are a few verses to meditate upon concerning our speech:

• “Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning” (Proverbs 10:13).

• “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19).

• “The lips of the righteous nourish many” (Proverbs 10:21).

• “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”
(Proverbs 15:1).

• “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23).

• “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11).

• “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the Day of Judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36).

If we hit the pause button on our lips and think about these instructions, we can live more harmoniously with our families, friends, co-workers, acquaintances…even strangers who cross our paths. More importantly, our testimony will not be tarnished by the use of careless words. Stop and think about the visual of "concealed lips" before you snap back with a quick response to someone in your "line of fire." Use words that build up, rather than tear down. You never know when your kind words may be life-changing for someone. Choose to sow peace with your words, rather than anger…my lips are concealed.

The Sandwich Generation: Make the Most of the Meal

2011-10-01T11:10:00.000-04:00

By Heather Gearhart

Every day, at the retirement community where I work, I see women speeding around in a frenzy. Cell phones are glued to their ears and organized chaos reigns. One is organizing a bake sale for her child’s school. Another is putting the final touches on a marketing proposal for her job. All are coming to visit a loved one who is ill or disabled. These frenzied individuals are part of the sandwich generation where multi-tasking is taken to a whole new level.

The term “sandwich generation” is the name given to those individuals who are caretakers for both the younger and the older generations. The notion of caring for our children comes naturally. However, the thought of caring for our parents or another elderly loved one may not have occurred to us. When you find yourself in this situation know that the Bible gives unmistakable directive. Psalms 71:9 says, “Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth.”

Given the responsibility of caring for two generations of loved ones isn’t an easy task. The “sandwich generation” comes in many different varieties. The elderly person can be cared for at home, in a facility, locally, or even hundreds of miles away. Most care givers are women, over 40, married, employed, raising children or helping with grandchildren, and stressed to the max.

Take a look at what’s on the menu. It’s a lot to swallow.

The bread. The kids are pulling from the top for gas money, tuition and new clothes. The adults are pulling from the bottom. They need supplies, caregivers, products, and equipment.

The cheese and the meat. The care giver is the sustenance. You are now caring for two generations of loved ones. The children need you to shape their lives. They need your guidance and boundaries. The elders need support. They need independence and dignity.

The condiments: ketchup, mustard and pickle. These are the spices of life. Of course there will be ups and downs. Just think about what you will have to look back on in the years to come. When the children are gone and raising kids of their own they will have so many memories to share.

The knife, fork, and napkin. Now, you have the whole meal set in front of you. It seems like a lot to chew on, right?

Here are a few tips to make the most of your sandwich:

* Have those uncomfortable conversations sooner than later. Ask about living wills, advanced directives, do not resuscitate (DNR) orders and funeral arrangements. Chances are your loved one has already made these plans or has ideas about them.

• If you need to draft any of the above documents, know that each state has different rules and some documents are not honored if your loved one moves or even travels across state lines. Be sure to consult with a professional.

• Find out if your elderly loved one is making the most of benefits they are entitled to. A good place to start is www.medicare.gov. Also, obtaining a durable power of attorney will allow you to be able to act on their behalf when and if the time comes.

• Check out support services. If you provide in-home care you need to plan for relief. Most assisted living facilities offer respite services for short-term stays. There are adult day care programs that will care for your loved one while you work. PACE (Program for All-inclusive Care for the Elderly) is a new hybrid that combines in-home care with an adult day program. More information on PACE can be found at www.PACE4you.org.

• If you live far from your loved ones, you could enlist the services of a care manager. They are available to coordinate services locally. You can find additional information on care managers at www.caremanager.org.

• Don’t forget about other informal support. Your friends, family and church are there to offer you physical, emotional and spiritual support. Be sure to ask for help. Many times your friends and family are willing. They just don’t know what you need. Tell them.

Do you want fries with that? Don’t forget to save room for rest of the meal. Life can not and should not be a singular event. Life must be enjoyed and appreciated. Be sure to fill your life with side dishes. Take time to take care of you. So, if you need to eat dessert first go ahead. Wash it down with a healthy does of reality. Don’t expect perfection.

Just remember to go slow. Savor it. Enjoy every last bit of it. The sandwich generation portion of your life won’t last forever. Just like that meal eaten too quickly, you will wonder where it went. Chew on each new situation a while. Don’t let problems overwhelm you. Reach out for some assistance. And most of all, remember you are neither a piece of meat caught in the middle, nor are you the sole substance for your family. You are the chef making the whole meal work well together.

Heather Gearhart has a master’s degree in long-term care administration and works for a non-profit retirement community in Blacksburg, Virginia. She enjoys spending time with her husband and daughter, extended family and family of friends.

Choosing to Do Good

2011-10-01T11:06:00.000-04:00

By Amanda Berry

I’ll never forget the first time I made tuna noodle casserole. It turned out to be quite an ordeal. First, I started on dinner much later than I had hoped and was pretty hungry. Next, my can opener broke and I had to borrow one from a neighbor. But I persevered and the recipe made a gigantic casserole, more than enough for dinner and plenty of leftovers for the next few days.

At the time, my husband and I had a general rule in our house: whoever didn’t cook the meal had to do the dishes. Since I had been the chef for the night, my husband handled the cleanup. Or so I thought . . .

The next morning I awoke and found my 15 x 10 tuna casserole sitting out on the kitchen counter from the night before! All of my hard work had been ruined; it all had to be dumped out. Anger boiled within me. I honestly wanted to take the leftovers and rub his nose in them (both literally and figuratively). But mercy won out. As mad as I was, I didn’t respond as my flesh had craved. I threw my masterpiece in the trash and told him about it later.

As with the tuna casserole, the thought of retribution tempted me after I learned of my husband’s pornography addiction. After the reality of it all set in, I wanted him to pay for his mistake and I wanted him to feel as bad as I did.

But thankfully, God allowed me to play out the scenario and visualize the reality of my thoughts. How would repaying my husband for the betrayal bring any good to our marriage or to our family? I acknowledged that further damage would be done if I responded in my flesh.

When I’m looking for encouragement to persevere in my quest to be a godly wife and mother, I often read Proverbs 31. I often wonder how the Proverbs 31 woman had it all together. Recently, I read the following verses and received fresh insight:

“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12, emphasis added).

Wow, all days mean every single day. Nowhere in this passage does it say that her husband deserved good all the time, I’m sure they had their moments. They likely had disagreements about finances, frustration from the children and just got on each other’s nerves once in awhile. And like us, she probably felt tempted to repay evil for evil when things got heated or when he hurt her in some way. But she chose to do good. She acted with grace and mercy, even when it may not have been merited.

The more I think about it, I think I may understand how she responded in this way. It all depends on focus. When I’m focused on the misdeed that’s been done to me, it’s hard to act with goodness. But when I’m focused on God and how He forgives me when I sin against Him, I can then act with mercy and do good to my husband instead of harm.

I’m thankful that God doesn’t rub my nose in the mistakes that I make. He forgives me and He desires that I extend that same forgiveness to my husband and to others — even when my casserole has been ruined or a relationship has been damaged.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:7 “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
In reading Proverbs 31:12, I see that it’s a deliberate choice I must make to bring my husband good and not harm. There’s a variety of ways that I can do this:

•When my husband does or says something hurtful, I will stop and pray for the Holy Spirit to guide my response instead of acting in my flesh.

•I will choose my words carefully and remember that once I speak them, they cannot be retrieved.

•I will communicate to my husband, instead of expecting him to read my mind and becoming angry when he doesn’t.

•I will remember that God calls me to forgive, even if my husband doesn’t ask for it or deserve it. I will be grateful that Jesus died for my sins and those of my husband. I acknowledge that I am not worthy or deserving of the forgiveness that God extends to me.

•I will pray for my husband and his struggle with pornography. I acknowledge that doing him good and not harm will help to restore our marriage and encourage him in his daily battle of purity.

Even years after my husband confessed his addiction, I still experience painful reminders of the betrayal. They often spring up out of the blue and send my emotions whirling. But lately when I find myself in this place, I recite Proverbs 31:12 in my head, “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

Writing under a pen name, Amanda Berry desires to see women and their marriages restored from the devastation of pornography. Connect with her at www.healingforyourheart.com.

What Can I Afford?

2011-10-01T11:01:00.000-04:00

By Rebecca C. Bradshaw

I always knew I was destined to be a business owner, but the only business experience I had was that of selling cosmetics and plastic containers for a few months. This time was going to be different. I was going to be successful. However, my definition of success and God’s definition are different. During my experience at an unsuccessful attempt of trying to own my own business, I learned about something even more valuable. I learned what I cannot afford.

I had noticed a “tugging at my heart” for several months to open my own business as a Guardian ad Litem. My work would focus on providing recommendations to a family court judge for the placement of children in custody cases. I volunteered for 10 years during my career as a paralegal. Because of those experiences and the marketing research I conducted, I knew I was making a sound business decision and would be able to manage every aspect of my new business. I also knew success was definite because, after all, I was being obedient to God.

I gave my two weeks notice at work and started immediately. After intense training at the state level, it was not long before I received my first three cases. Although I experienced fear, I knew my new strength was coming from the Lord. The excitement and heartfelt joy I experienced in helping the children also kept me exponentially inspired.

Things were going well and I was happy to be completely obedient to God for the first time in my life in the area of finances. I knew my paychecks were going to come from the parents of these children I assisted, but I did not realize that two-thirds of them would end up not paying me at all. Unfortunately, in some instances, these parents did not have the money to pay their electric bill, let alone enough money to pay me for the work I provided. After several months of intense work, the funds I expected were nowhere near sufficient to offset my costs.

I asked God all my questions, but no answers came. How can God clearly tell me to start this business and it not thrive? Was I completely wrong in hearing from God? Did I quit my job prematurely? I started to doubt my relationship with God and seriously doubt my faith. With every passing month, I got deeper and deeper into a financial mess. Frustrated and with no answers, I reluctantly took a paralegal job which was unexpectedly offered to me, to temporarily ease the burden.

Despite my efforts to return back to my Guardian ad Litem work, I never got any additional cases. I finished the ones I had started and continued with my paralegal job. Confused and exhausted, I believed God was still with me, but I could not make any sense out of anything. I continued looking to Him for guidance in order to meet my expenses.

One night, while sitting at the dining room table after planning the budget, tithing and paying the bills, I realized I had no money for gas. I had only a quarter of a tank in my car so I knew that by the end of the next day I would need to do something. At that point, I just poured my heart out to God. With tears in my eyes, I explained to Him that I get paid monthly and that meant two more weeks of waiting. “I just give it all to You, God. Here it is. Here’s my budget, my checks, my priorities and my bills. You tell me how I can make it work,” I pleaded between bitter sobs. I went over and over the figures, but I had made no mistakes. I looked upward with empty out-stretched hands and then I put my tear-filled budget calendar away, and went to bed.

The next day I went to work with the same pleading, pondering heart. How long would it be before I would know what to do? I caught myself trying to take it all back as I so often do after giving something to God. That morning, I was asked by my boss to come in for a meeting. When I got there, he apologized and said when I was hired he had forgotten to give me a gas card which he had always given his paralegals after the hiring process. As he handed it to me, my hand and chin trembled simultaneously and with tear-filled eyes all I could say was “thank you.”

My boss was telling me about the parameters in which I must use the card, but all I could do was think about how humbled I was beyond words to be so assured that God was with me and taking care of my every need. How could the God of the universe care about where I get gas money? How could He answer a prayer with such distinction, clarity and creativity for ME?

That day, God’s financial plan for my life started to unfold, which was far better than anything I had ever imagined. Learning to trust Him and resting in His peace has brought me ultimate joy, which goes beyond my human comprehension. Within six months, He moved me into the job I still have today. The last six years have been an incredible journey. I have been able to go back to school and will finish my Bachelor’s degree in three months. Every debt but my mortgage will be paid off within this next year.

Progress has come in small steps, but I have been able to do things and help people in life-changing financial ways that, without God’s guidance, would have been impossible.

Sometimes in our total states of failure, God shows us His plan for success in our lives through Him, and He guides us with a gentle hand and a whispering voice. Looking back, my own direction almost cost me everything. I learned that I cannot afford to overlook God’s priceless guidance in any area of my life. Can you?

Rebecca C. Bradshaw became a Christian during her sophomore year of college. She lives in South Carolina, and will be celebrating her 25th anniversary with her husband David next month. A writer for many years, Rebecca enjoys using the “power of the pen” for God’s glory.

How to Say "No" to Others, So You Can Say "Yes" to God

2011-09-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

Editor’s note: Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are not able to publish “Beauty from Ashes.” We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your understanding. In its place, we are featuring an article from Glynnis Whitwer’s newest book, “I Used to Be So Organized.” We hope you enjoy it.

By Glynnis Whitwer

September is a month when many of us gear up for fall activities. Whether it’s church, community groups or school, many of us will face with new requests for our time. And so much of it will sound exciting … and fun … and easy … and it won’t take much time at all (at least that’s what we are promised).

And then by October, what seemed so effortless, will be a burden. We’ll find ourselves wondering how we got so overcommitted, and start looking for a way out. Stress will set in, there will be an underlying anxiety at times that you can’t explain. Your family will suffer due to your frustration. How do I know all this? First-hand experience.

I’m a highly motivated woman, and tend to be overly confident in my ability to manage many projects at once. But I’ve discovered that if I say yes to something new, I’m saying no to something else. That tends to be time with those that matter most to me.

In my latest book, I Used to Be So Organized, I share a lot of my story. But today, I’d like to share some tips from my book on how to say “no.” Hopefully they will help equip you for a more balanced life in the coming months.

But I don’t want to hurt her feelings!

Most of us never want to hurt another’s feelings. So we are afraid to say “no” and this can lead to over-commitment. Learning how to say “no” with grace will give you a freedom to make choices about your time, and attend to your priorities.
The simple truth is always the best approach when saying no. A five-minute exposition about your busy life, your demanding mother or your clinging children isn’t the most effective approach. That may be the truth, but you’ve given too much information, and your listener tuned out four minutes ago.

Ask for time to decide

When someone asks for your help, ask for time to pray about it. If you don’t feel comfortable saying “pray,” then ask for time to “think.” Then take it to God. By establishing this pattern, you’ve built in a response time, and eliminated a response based on emotion such as guilt or sympathy.
God may surprise you with His answer. It may be yes. It may be no. Either way, you are learning to seek God’s approval rather than man’s and that is the first step to a healthy schedule. Here’s how to say it:

I’d like to pray/think about that. When do you need an answer?

I need to check my schedule. I’ll get back to you in a few days.

Ask for more information

Get a complete picture of the task. Ask how much time it will take and what’s involved. You might also ask to speak with someone who has done it before. It’s called due diligence, and in doing it, you may discover a conflict that makes it easy to say no.

I’d like to know more. Can you write up a description of what’s involved?

That sounds interesting, but I’d like to get an accurate picture of what would be required of me before I say decide.

Scripts for saying “no”

If you don’t believe this request fits into your life at this time, then decline with a simple answer that doesn’t invite questions. Normally I express my appreciation and honor for being asked, and then offer a response like:

God is calling me to simplify my schedule. As much as I would love to help, I need to say no.

I’m trying to be a better steward of my time. As important as this request is, I hope you understand, but I need to decline.

I’m trying to focus on my main priorities, and need to say no at this time.

These are confident responses that show you’ve thought this out. Most people respect these types of answers, and respect you for giving them. Make sure you don’t open the door for a “yes” later on. It only postpones the inevitable, and increases your stress. But most importantly, learning to say “no” to others, creates opportunities for you to say “yes” to God.

Glynnis Whitwer is on staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries as the Senior Editor of the P31 Woman magazine. She is one of the writers of Encouragement for Today, the Proverbs 31 e-mail devotions, with over 500,000 daily readers. Her newest book, I Used to be So Organized, has just been released. Glynnis, her husband Tod, and their five children live in Glendale, Arizona. Visit www.GlynnisWhitwer.com or www.HerOrganizedLife.com to learn more.

To purchased Glynnis's new book, I Used to Be So Organized, just click here.

Scrambled Song

2011-09-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By Heather Gearhart

A few months ago, Taylen, my 10-year-old daughter, was asked to sing a solo for our church. Taylen has been singing with the children’s choir for many years. She has had small solo parts within the choir many times and participates in a competition choir and talent show at her school. Taylen is no stranger to the stage, has a beautiful voice and nerves of steel.

In the days leading up to the performance, she practiced every chance she got. We kept the CD in the car and sang with it every time we drove. She practiced without the music while getting ready. She attended rehearsals with the choir director where she was instructed to smile, make eye contact with the congregation and stay at the microphone until the last note was played on the piano. She was ready.

Before she walked on to the stage I reminded her to smile and we said a quick prayer about the performance. I know for certain that I was more nervous than she was. I glanced around the congregation with pride in my heart. My little girl was about to blow the socks off these people.

As she stepped up to the microphone, she glanced down at the sheet music in front of her. She looked up at me and smiled, just a bit. Then, the music started. Taylen started to sing. The notes flowed through the air melodically and perfectly pitched. Perfectly pitched, melodic, incorrect words. Somehow she had started with the chorus instead of the first verse. She realized her mistake right away but couldn’t correct it.

She stopped singing for a moment and listened to the music, trying to figure out which words she should sing. The pianist kept right on playing. Taylen chose another verse. It was still the wrong one. She had the tune right but the words came out jumbled and disorganized. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity. As the song came to a close Taylen dropped her eyes and stood still until the very last note was played. From the back of the sanctuary I could see her chin quivering.

Taylen hurried down the side aisle and collapsed silently into me. Heavy sobs shook the pew as she tried to hide her tears behind my shoulder. We quickly made our way out the side door and into the nursery. I held my precious daughter with her wounded pride. I whispered to her how proud I was of her, and that very few 10-year-olds would have the nerve to stand up there in front of the crowd.

It turned out, that wasn’t the problem. She was embarrassed, of course. But her main concern was that she hadn’t delivered the message the song had intended. Taylen wasn’t as upset about forgetting the words in front of everyone as she was disappointed that her words didn’t illustrate God’s message.

Luke 8:16 (ESV) tells us, “No one after lighting a lamp covers it with a jar or puts it under a bed, but puts it on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light.” She wanted to show God’s message in the best possible light. Her scrambled up version of the song didn’t do that, or so she thought.

That little girl, declaring her faith to her heavenly Father overwhelmed me and many others in the church that day. I had worried about her dress being clean and her hair being brushed. I fretted over her smiling and making eye contact. It wasn’t a show to her. She was truly making a joyful noise to the Lord. It was a declaration of love from a child to her Father.

Worship is not about performance or production. It isn’t about looking good or wearing our “Sunday best.” It’s about each of us shining our light in a darkened world with our God given talents. Taylen taught me the lesson of a lifetime through her scrambled song. We shouldn’t worry about being perfect or getting it just right. Sometimes a scrambled song is just what someone needs to hear.

Heather Gearhart lives in southwest Virginia with her husband of 16 years and their exuberant 11- year- old daughter. She enjoys spending time with her family and friends. Heather has a master’s degree in long-term care administration, works for a non-profit retirement community and enjoys writing fictional faith romances in her free time.

My Story

2011-08-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

By Daria Wilson

I had been ridiculed, overlooked, and made fun of.

I had been beaten, bruised, and called stupid.

I had been yelled at and ignored and rejected.

I had searched for love and had been used.

I was broken. (1)

And then…Jesus came. (2)

He waited. (3)

Those that hurt me had finally been silenced.

They had tried to throw their stones, but I was still alive. (4)

He gently called to me. (5)

He silently waited until I was ready. (6)

He waited until the ache in my heart was ready for His healing.

He whispered to me again. (7)

And when I began to lift my head, He softly called to me, “My child.” (8)

“My child, I have been waiting.” (9)

He tenderly placed His scarred hand under my chin and ever so gently lifted my head. (10)

And there - in my tears - I looked up and saw Jesus who had died for me, the Lord who had taken all my hurt for me. (11)

He took it all away.

He had healed all my bruises, all my pain. (12)

He knew what it was to be hurt. (13)

When all had failed me, there He stood. (14)

I no longer flinched.

I no longer cried myself to sleep in utter silence. (15)

He told me tenderly that I was now worth something. (16)

He had carved me on His hand. (17)

He softly said, “You are my child. I love you.” (18)

And I had finally been…set free. (19)

1. Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

2.1 Timothy 1:15 “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”

3. 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”

4. John 8:7-11 “When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. “Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

5. Matthew 11:9 “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

6. 1 Corinthians 4:20-21 “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?”

7. 1 Kings 19:12 “After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.”

8. Matthew 18:14 “In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.”

9. 1 Timothy 1:16 “But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

10. Psalm 3:3 “But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.”

11. John 3:16-17 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him”

12. Isaiah 42:3 “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring forth justice.”

13. Isaiah 53:5 “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

14. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

15. Romans 10:11 “As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

16. Matthew 10:30-32 “And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.”

17. Isaiah 49:16 “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.”

18. John 14:23 “Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”

19. Romans 8:1-2 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

Daria Wilson is a single mom of a cherished 18- year old daughter and is a professional court reporter who works in New York City Criminal Court. She goes through life ever humbled by the tender care of her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

My Last Day

2011-08-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

By Kimberly Rae

Small buzzes, clicks, whirring sounds surrounded me. I lay flat on my back, in the flimsy hospital gown. Medical technicians were thinking about the MRI, about the fluid on my brain, about the eclamptic seizures that had brought me back to the hospital. I was thinking about death. Would today be my last day?

I thought of my husband, my little boy, and my new tiny baby daughter. I thought about all my big goals for my life, goals that had been crippled and marred by chronic health problems. Health problems had brought us home from the mission field and removed from me all the activities and ministries that gave me identity. These problems had, as I saw it, taken away my significance.

Over the past year I had struggled with discontent, a restless need to find some way to prove I was still worthwhile. Yet with each attempt, each new ministry or activity, eventually my health (or lack thereof) would hinder it, would require more help from my husband, would leave me exhausted, sick or both. I would end up neglecting my family as I used up my energy trying to keep up with the other things. After all, organizing a missions conference sounds a lot more important than changing diapers. Leading a Bible study feels more significant than reading bedtime stories.

But that day in the hospital, the possibility of it being my last brought a fear more claustrophobic than the MRI machine I was encased in. What if it really was my last day? What if I was dying? What would I want to do with my last day?

All those former seemingly significant priorities I had chased did not come to mind. All the activities that had given me a false sense of identity lost their appeal in the valley of the shadow of death. If it was to be my last day, I wanted to spend it loving my husband, loving my children, loving my God.

That was how I wanted to be remembered. Content. Unafraid. No longer striving, chasing after the wind. I wanted to be remembered as one who loved. And in that moment of light, as the machine whirred and clicked over my head, I had a blazing realization: If that is how I would want to spend my last day, why isn’t that how I am spending every day?

If my God and my family are most important, why am I living as if they aren’t? Why are they taking second place in my day, in my effort, even in my heart sometimes?

The months and years leading up to that day in the hospital, I had struggled with wondering what my life was worth if I could not chase after my dreams, if I could not attain the amazing, biography-worthy life I had always wanted.

However, that day I saw with beautiful certainty that I wanted to stay. I wanted to live, even if life for me meant fewer abilities and possibilities than it might for most others.

Lying in that MRI machine, I prayed, “God, if all I can do with my life is serve my husband and raise my children, I want to stay. Please let me stay.”

God answered that prayer with a yes. Later that afternoon, as a neurologist, an emergency-room doctor, and one other “ologist” stood over me, discussing which of two life-threatening treatments to try, they chose the right one. Eventually I was released from the hospital. Eventually I returned to my state of “normal.” Eventually I even had enough energy to go right back to struggling with my old addiction: the pull toward proving my own significance.

Like an addict, I still find myself longing to commit to activities, drawn toward proving that I am spiritual by outward show. Then another health crisis will knock me down, bringing back with startling force that promise I made that day as death faced me head-on. I made the promise, and I am accountable for that promise before God.

I know that God wants abundant life for each of us (John 10:10). I am learning, however, that His definition of abundant life for me is far different than what I had ever supposed. Abundant life is not an urgent, fast-paced life rushing from one significant thing to the next. Abundant life is having contentment in every season, with whatever role God has assigned for me within that season. It is a place of peace, green pastures and still waters.

Regardless of how small or large my role feels at any given time, God wants me to accept it with joy, to be a shining example of peace—of a gentle and quiet spirit—in a world where women feel they must prove their own worth by their talents, or beauty, or ability to make money.

That day in the hospital did not turn out to be my last day. However, one day will be. When that day comes, I want my restless, discontent spirit to have been replaced by a gentle and quiet one. I want me to have decreased, and Christ to have increased. I want those I love to really know they were loved. Most of all, I want God to be pleased, because I was finally willing to give up my own dreams for His.

Kimberly has rafted the Nile River, seen Mt. Everest, and eaten cow brains in Bangladesh, just to say she'd done it! She now lives in North Carolina with her husband and two young children. Her first novel, Stolen Woman, a Christian suspense story about a woman trying to rescue a trafficked girl, has been released this year on Amazon.com and stolenwoman.org. You can contact Kimberly on her Facebook page under Human Trafficking Stolen Woman.

Trusting in the Storm

2011-08-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Cheryl Fellores

Fears. We all have them. Fears come in different shapes and sizes, but they share something in common: their ability to paralyze us and take our focus off God. The little voice of fear we hear becomes louder than the gentle whisper of our loving Savior.

In August 2007, my biggest fear became a reality. My teenage son, Justin, moved back to Indiana to live with his father. The weeks leading up to his departure, I prayed my most heart-felt prayers for God to stop the madness. God’s response was “Do you trust Me?” My instant answer was “yes, but not enough to give up my son.” That began my journey of truly trusting Him. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).

“Do you trust Me?” Those four simple words rocked me to my core because I understood what it meant. I’d have to face my biggest fear in life: losing Justin. God didn’t stop the nightmare. Instead, He held me close as I gave up my son.

None of this surprised God. He had been preparing me when He prompted me months prior to get serious about quiet time with Him. During that quiet time, He taught me how to listen for His voice and to dig deeper into His Word. That was paramount to helping me through my dark days.

Over the next few months, I battled hopelessness and depression as I prayed for God to bring my baby back. His answer was “No.” God reminded me that Justin had become more important in my life than my relationship with Him, violating the first commandment of “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). As I continued the learning process, God poured into me by surrounding me with women of faith. He also used Christian music to shift my focus from me to Him.

One morning, the light bulb came on while listening to Casting Crown’s “Praise You in This Storm.” Right then and there, I thanked God for my circumstances. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). God had a reason for this storm. He used it to help me completely rely on Him for peace. It was then that I accepted my situation. My heart was filled with gratitude right there in the middle of the biggest storm of my life. My thankfulness was no longer conditional upon Justin coming home. My faith had grown wings. I was soaring with God.

A few months after Justin’s move to Indiana, he came home for a visit. As he shared his desire to live with us again, I had to put my faith into action while fighting every urge in my body that wanted to take control to make it happen. No, this time, I was committed to doing it God’s way. Taking Justin to the airport was gut-wrenching, but I had to trust God, and this time I really did. As we waited, over and over I prayed “Your will, Your way in Your time – not mine.”

Then, it happened. On January 27, 2008, God rewarded my obedience and trust. Justin came home. This time, it was to stay.

In looking back, I realized something. There were a few prodigal experiences running simultaneously. Before this storm, Justin wanted very little to do with God. But now, he’s on fire for Jesus. I also ran back into Jesus’ arms, and that is where I will stay.

The memories of that experience are still painful, but it changed my heart as I learned to completely trust the Lord. God had a plan for this. He used it to transform Justin and our entire family, including me. This became part of our story. The story will be told as each of us reach out to the hurting to help them find hope in the Lord. “He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). God has led me to write a book and to share our story with Christian women’s groups. For Justin, God is calling him to become a youth pastor.

Do we ever learn when the experiences are easy? I rarely do, but I wish I had! This lesson stuck and has become my reference for every time the storms brew. I’ve learned that even though the storm clouds are rolling in, the sun still shines behind them. Our Lord shines even when we can’t see Him in the raging storms of life. He’s still there – just like the sun shining behind the storm clouds. “God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you’” (Hebrews 13:5b). But, it’s not enough to just know that in our heads-we need to know it deep in our hearts.

God has a plan for each of us. He needs us to step up and engage in that plan. It brings meaning to our lives and to the pain we have suffered. We are called to help others to find Jesus in their storms of life.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

God’s promises aren’t just for those who lived many, many years ago. They are for you and me. We have a choice. Will we trust Him? Will we strain to hear His voice in the midst of our storms?

Speaker and writer Cheryl Fellores is passionate about helping others find Jesus. She and her husband Joey raise four children, ages 18 to 5, just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. Cheryl actively volunteers with a number of organizations including the Cove Church and In His Steps dance ministry.

Lessons from a Momma Raccoon

2011-07-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

By Kelli Combs

“Maybe one day you will have a daughter and will get a taste of your own medicine.” These words from my mom, from many years ago, have echoed in my head recently. This is one of those times when I wish she had not been right. But, as it turns out, my mom was right most of the time.

Let’s just say I am now “there,” and one of my three children, who will remain unnamed, seems to be on a mission to challenge me daily. There is always that “one” who God uses to grow and stretch us. And my “one” just happens to be the most like me.

Yes, Lord, I get the picture.

It had not been a good week. One afternoon, I was on my way home from work and was consumed with prayer, begging God to show me how to protect my daughter. I’m so thankful He knows our kids even better than we do.

On this particular day I was specifically asking the Lord for wisdom as to how to love her through the struggles we currently found ourselves in. As I was driving, I noticed a small animal crossing the road ahead, so I began to slow my car down. As I eased closer, I was able to make out what the small, fuzzy figure was. It was the cutest little baby raccoon I have ever seen.

As I inched a little closer, the baby’s momma came out of nowhere and it was obvious that she was aware of my presence, which, for her baby, equaled danger. As she frantically looked from me to her little one, I could see the desperation in her eyes. What came next was so precious that I will never forget it.

This sweet little momma ran over and placed her body on top of her baby’s and gently tried to guide him off of the street and away from danger. Everywhere her baby went, she went. This went on for about a minute, until it became apparent that her offspring had no intention of leaving the road. It was then that our momma raccoon decided it was time for a little more aggressive “Plan B.”

Glancing nervously in my direction one last time, she picked her unassuming little rebel up by the neck and proceeded to carry him off the street and out of harm’s way. I think I laughed out loud as I watched this little one flailing and fighting to break free. I could tell it was a waste of energy because this resolved little momma wasn’t letting go until her child was a safe distance from danger. I had to wonder what was going through his little raccoon mind as momma literally dragged him off the road.

As I watched the spectacle, it occurred to me that this was a beautiful and loving answer to my prayer. I had prayed and asked the Lord if I was being too hard on my daughter. He faithfully gave me a real-life illustration in His response to my question.

What did I learn that day? There are times when we, as mothers, can gently lead our kids away from danger. Then there are those times when we have to yank them up by the nape of the neck and literally drag them to safety. Will there be times when they don’t understand and maybe even accuse us of not loving them? Will they often resist and accuse us of being mean? Yes, but it’s all worth it and it’s our job to make sure they don’t end up as road kill on the road of life.

Tears began to flow as I started to see myself as the baby raccoon, looking back on all the times that, just like that sweet momma raccoon, the Lord had to drag me, kicking and screaming, away from danger, all while I resisted and accused Him of being unfair. I now see that He was showing me love as much then as He ever had in my life. Sometimes a little tough love is in order, especially with us particularly stubborn children.

I drove away from that scene knowing I had been with Jesus. I was fully aware that these raccoons had been sent on a mission by their Creator just for me. All I could do the rest of the way home was thank the Lord for being such a personal God. I guess if He can speak through a donkey, He can surely speak through a raccoon. It’s one of the things I love most about Him.

Psalm 91:4

He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.

Kelli Combs is married to her pastor, Michael, and they are the parents of three teenagers. She is the director of a ministry that helps women in the aftermath of abortion. Her greatest passion is studying and teaching the Word of God and helping women to overcome the lies of the enemy regarding their pasts.

Coping with Alcoholism: A Mother's Perspective

2011-07-01T10:56:00.000-04:00

By: Debbie Karis Graham

Dealing with my 25-year-old alcoholic son, Will, is a bit like a game of Candy Land. Sometimes I feel like I am coping with his disease fine, and am close to reaching the Candy Castle. Other times I feel like I am stuck in the Molasses Swamp.

The drinking hasn’t changed, but my reaction changes frequently. God has been the one constant in my life.

Alcoholism, like any other disease, has its ebbs and flows. On days when Will is not drinking, he is my fun-loving son, always armed with a joke. Usually, they are directed toward 1960’s rock icons, as that seems to be the era of music on my radio dial. We banter back and forth about Keith Richards and his latest death defying incident and laugh until we are both in tears. At that moment, I feel as I have just picked the card that will take me up the Gum Drop Mountain Pass.

Then, there are those days when Will comes home from work bathed in the stench of beer, flops in a chair, and blankly stares at the television. He usually watches the History Channel and marvels at the lives of others, while his slowly slips away into the abyss of alcoholism. These nights, I reach for my Bible, and cry.

Sometimes I can’t even open it because I am in such emotional pain. I don’t believe there are words in there to help me through the night or even the next five minutes. I hold the thick black book tightly to my chest and run my fingers along the indentation of the gold cross on the cover. Then a sense of peace comes over me. God is there waiting.

We have traveled this road for three years and his drinking has taken its toll on every aspect of life, including my faith, my marriage, my job and my health. Many sleepless nights have left me terribly unproductive at work and not the wife described in Proverbs. I don’t “laugh at the days to come (Proverbs 31:25).” Instead, I fear them. When is the next call from the police saying, “We have your son in custody for drunken driving?” Or, I wait for an officer to knock on my door with the sad news, “I am sorry to tell you ma’am, but…”

I have come to the harsh realization that I can not do anything about his drinking. A shopping trip to the mall, a favorite dinner, bribes (although I like to call it the incentive program), and even now AA has not and will not stop him until he chooses to change. But, I can do something about the way I respond to it.

I have decided to get serious about taking control over my own life and doing a spiritual inventory. I have often read, “If you can worry, you can pray.” Sometimes my prayers are scarcely nothing more than, “God, please help us.” But, that is a start.

Lately, Psalm 91 comes to mind: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Lord most high will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.” Rest. I like the sound of that word. It evokes many good feelings. Then a sense of peace comes over me. God is there waiting. All I have to do is draw the right card to get unstuck and I can proceed on my journey. Maybe one day I’ll make it to the Candy Castle.

Debbie Karis Graham is both a secular and Christian writer of personal essays, mainly for and about women. She has been published in newspapers throughout New Hampshire and also in the Washington Post. Her goal is to raise awareness on personal topics that are sometimes otherwise not discussed and empower women who might be struggling with these issues.

The Middle of a Miracle

2011-07-01T10:50:00.001-04:00

by Joy Brown

“I’m sorry. You must have the wrong number.” I wish I could force those words out of my mouth. It’s the way I longed to respond to the voice on the other end of the phone. She must have dialed incorrectly. This call couldn’t possibly be for me. My name in the same sentence as “cancer” was inconceivable. This wasn’t part of my plan.

Months earlier I had found myself sitting with my family doctor as he explained some urgent and worrisome findings. Still, my mind remained positive. Yes, there was a mass on my left ovary, but it would be surgically removed and life would carry on. During this same time, a routine mammogram showed areas of concern and a biopsy was scheduled. Suddenly my safe and quiet life was plunged into a whirlwind of appointments, hospital visits, ultrasounds and a world of unknowns. Doctors and technicians whispered quietly in my presence, pointing at images on screens and using terms I didn’t understand.

My life is defined right now by instability. The wind is blowing. It's not a gentle wind that lifts wisps of hair and caresses my face. It's a billow, desiring to force me off my feet. A current from an area of high pressure air to an area of low pressure petitions to move joy to despair. A gale of doubt longs to bend my attitude and carry away all strength in its movement.

The big bad wolf is huffing and puffing and threatening to blow my house down. Is my faith made of wood, hay, straw or brick? As I watch the flag outside being whipped in the wind’s embrace, my life feels so beaten and defeated. How can one stand against such unrelenting power?

A call to the surgeon's office brings winds of change. Uncertainty collides with faith.

Test results return. Surgery dates are changed.

A violent storm of impending danger is on the horizon.

I pray for the weather to change and the forecast to be kind.

Yet, there are whispers in the wind. Whispers rise up to stay the blast of feelings and emotions which aspire to knock the life out of me and isolate me inside for fear of such flurry. I'm carried away, not aimlessly, but deliberately. Wind’s path has a purpose. Contrary to appearances, there is direction in the seeming chaos. It is not an arbitrary impulse, but an intentional appointment.

Listening, I giggle and rub my ear from sounds as soft as a feather's touch.

Amidst the howling, God and I share a secret.

He speaks tranquility in the turmoil.

The wind shifts my focus and God keeps me occupied with gladness of heart (Ecclesiastes 5:20, NIV).

With the wind, the seasons change. Spring is budding growth. God is moving me to a new place and a deeper faith. Although at times feeling forgotten and abandoned, God reminds me that He sees me.

He speaks words of encouragement from His Word. “I am your strength, joy, your personal bravery and invincible army. I make your feet like hind’s feet and will make you to walk [not stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon your high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]” (Habakkuk 3:19, amplified).

I lose my breath as a rush of thankfulness lifts me off my feet and I am carried to heights not experienced prior, choosing to make that sacrifice from a tender heart.

I let go.

Surrendering to soaring.

The letting go of what was to what is ahead has not been easy. As I write this, I am in a place of waiting. I am standing in the middle. The middle of a miracle.

Waves crashing all around.

The sound of the wind whirling.

I'm standing in the middle of my miracle. My feet are planted in the center of my impossibility, but God's possibility.

Firmly planted? Not always. Waves of doubt, despair and discouragement threaten to drown my heart. I ask the Lord to fix my feet on the Solid Rock.

Leaning in, I listen to the swirling flow of nature’s energy. I have a loving, powerful God who can produce vineyards and fruit in places of wilderness. There is growth to be born and birthed in this current climate. He will come to me like the spring rain, bringing a downpour of peace and joy. Fear wants to leave the soil barren, but hope issues an invitation, whispering that God is creating a fresh faith in me, one whose season it is to bloom in the middle of a miracle.

Joy Brown is a homemaker who lives in Ontario, Canada with her husband Gord and 19 year old son, Chris. Having being diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she is now receiving chemotherapy treatment and is trusting God from the "middle of a miracle". She believes that God has purpose in allowing this "storm" to touch her life and refuses to settle in this season. Believing God, she's listening for His whispers.

Simple Things

2011-06-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

by Ginny Cruz

Quietness of morning before the house awakes,
Smells of coffee brewing and my first warm taste.
The sounds of my babies stirring in their beds,
Sweetness of their eyes and the shapes of their heads.
Rumbles of thunder and the fresh smell of rain,
The lonesome whistle of the faraway train.
Whispers of the wind as it rustles the leaves,
The peace that resides in the heart that believes.
Eating red tomatoes off the garden vine,
Running through the cornfields or just wasting time.
The simple beauty of butterflies and bees,
Messages received while down on bent knees.
The smell of a fire and the warmth of the sun,
A good book to read and a dog out to run.
Crisp colors of fall and the fresh green of spring,
Rocking on the porch as the bluebirds sing.
A golden cross as it tops the white steeple,
Church overflowing with all kinds of people.
Simple things offered from God up above,
Crafted by His hands and given in love.

Ginny Cruz, a pediatric physical therapist, has spent her entire life helping others. Her passion for songwriting, poetry, and writing for children is deeply rooted in her desire to use these gifts as God leads. She is founder of Character Trail Roundup (www.charactertrailroundup.com), a children’s edutainment company designing products to teach a biblical approach to the development of good character.

Ten Things to Consider Before Inviting a Stranger In

2011-06-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By Gaye Clark

Gaye wrote a wonderful article in the June issue of P31 Woman about inviting an abused young woman to live with her family for a few months. She now shares these words of wisdom for anyone considering the same.

1. In the case of domestic violence, ask the woman to commit to severing the relationship with her abuser permanently.

2. Be certain your entire family favors the invitation and is capable of maintaining basic precautions for your family’s safety.

3. Have the local abuse shelter or housing authority run a background check on the woman to ensure the need is legitimate.

4. Communicate ahead of time in writing your house rules and expectations. Revisit that list frequently.

5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from church members. Accept offers for meals, help with moving belongings, transportation to and from work, childcare, etc.

6. Make your neighbors and local police aware of your circumstances.

7. Be patient. A woman in crisis may have difficulty planning her afternoon, let alone the following week. Help her make lists and prioritize needs.

8. Create margins in your schedule: this is no ordinary houseguest. Be available to talk, pray and listen. Limit unnecessary demands on your time and energy.

9. Encourage her to communicate often with friends and family with whom she had healthy relationships in the past. Abusers often cut off or discourage such contact.

10. Recognize radical hospitality comes with enormous risks. There is no “happily ever after” guarantee. While that may be true, seek to look at current disappointments through the lens of eternity. God often changes hearts over a matter of years, not months.

Gaye Clark is a freelance writer and cardiac nurse who lives in Augusta, Georgia, with her husband Jim and their two teenage children Anna and Nathan. She remains active in inner city ministry.

Rescue from Lo Debar: The Story of Mephibosheth

2011-05-02T17:47:00.000-04:00

By Kelly Langston

Captured in 2 Samuel is a story that speaks of God’s boundless, restorative love for individuals living with a disability. It’s a message that reminds us that we are never forgotten by God:

He was a child of extraordinary promise and unlimited potential. Highly favored, he was a boy born into wealth and unparalleled privilege. The grandchild of a king, his father Jonathan lifted him high in royal hands and gave him a warrior’s name, “Meribbaal,” meaning “He who resists the idol Baal.”

In one day, a life of promise turned into a life of disability and shattered dreams. It happened in the boy’s fifth year. That day, as recounted in 1 Chronicles 10, King Saul and his sons battled the Philistines on Mount Gilboa. One by one Saul’s sons fell—Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malki-Shua— each struck down by the Philistine army. When enemy archers spotted King Saul in retreat, they sent arrows arcing into the sky, fatally wounding the king. Saul’s rule had ended and David would be the new king.

The news traveled quickly from the valley of Jezreel to the place where the boy stayed under the protection of a caregiver. People shouted from one to another, “King Saul is dead! His sons are dead!”

The boy’s caregiver trembled in fear at the sound of the words, knowing the boy was in danger. With King David on the throne, members of Saul’s family would surely be put to death— the customary way to prevent rebellion. Quickly, she snatched the child into her arms and ran outside. They needed to find refuge— a place of safety and obscurity– and there was little time!

She didn’t see the stone that caught her foot as she ran. All she saw was the boy flying out of her arms and into the dusty air, strangely suspended for what seemed like an eternity before falling to the ground, rolling and tumbling to a stop. There is no time to take care of this now! She yanked herself up and stumbled to him, grasping him in her arms again. The boy’s legs were strangely bent.

They fled to a forgotten town with an ugly name: “Lo Debar,” or “a place of no pasture, no communication, no words.” Meribbaal, disabled by the fall, would never be the same. In Lo Debar, the great promise of his early years faded into memory and he was given a new name: “Mephibosheth,” or“he who scatters shame.”

Lo Debar.

As a mother of an autistic child who has struggled with speech, Lo Debar— the place of no words or pasture— is a familiar place. I remember holding my young son late into the night as his body rocked in my arms and his legs kicked in search of nighttime peace. My boy, like Mephibosheth, was in a place of no pasture or peace on weary nights.

Lo Debar, a place of no communication. How I ached for my son to communicate with me! I longed for him to speak real words.

Had the story ended there, my son and I might have stayed in Lo Debar with Mephibosheth forever. But God did not leave Mephibosheth in Lo Debar, and He will not leave us there today! 2 Samuel Chapter 9 continues the story:

Years later, David remembered a promise made long ago with his friend Jonathan. The words of Jonathan:

“May you treat me with the faithful love of the Lord as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the Lord destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” (1 Samuel 20:14-15)

Remembering the promise David asks, “Is anyone still alive from Saul’s family? If so, I want to show God’s kindness to them.” God’s kindness.

A servant of Saul’s household replied, “One of Jonathan’s sons is still alive. He is crippled in both feet.” So King David sent for Mephibosheth, bringing him back from Lo Debar. When Mephibosheth came before the king, he bowed low in fear of King David.

“Don’t be afraid!” David said. “I intend to show kindness to you because of my promise to your father, Jonathan. I will give you all the property that once belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will eat here with me at the king’s table!”

God did not forget Mephibosheth, and even today, God knows where our children are when they cry in the night. In the story of Mephibosheth God speaks to all people living with a disability:

You are valued, remembered and loved beyond measure!

From that day on Mephibosheth ate regularly at David’s table, "like one of the king’s own sons.” Because of Jonathan, Mephibosheth was remembered and restored to a place of honor. Because of Christ, we are remembered by God and restored to communion with Him.

Restored to a place of honor and favor. Rescued from loneliness. Loved as one of the king’s own sons. That’s the story of Mephibosheth, and that’s the story of our children, healthy or disabled. But it’s also our story, an illustration of Christ’s redemptive love for us. We have been rescued from a place of no communication with the Father and restored to a seat at the King’s table.

Kelly is the author of “Autism’s Hidden Blessings: Discovering God’s Promises for Children with Autism and Their Families.” Visit her online at www.KellyLangston.com.

Turtles in My Dish Draine

2011-05-02T17:42:00.001-04:00

Turtles in My Dish Drainer

By Karen Ehman

I wish I could get married all over again.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’d still choose the same groom. I’d even pick out the same off-the-shoulder, ivory wedding dress. And I’ve never seen a ring I love more than my custom-made, heart-shaped, half-carat solitaire. No, what I’d like to do all over again is to relive the day my groom-to-be and I visited the bridal registry.

I remember it well.

We met halfway between the Christian college I was still attending and the small town where he’d accepted a position as a youth pastor. Heading up the escalator at the JC Penney store in Kalamazoo, Michigan, I was filled with excitement. What a blast it would be to choose linens, dishes, and decor for the little one-bedroom apartment we’d soon call home.

We pored over the various patterns and styles in the house wares department. I was elated when he agreed to the dishes I had my heart set on and the colors I envisioned for the bathroom, kitchen, and living room.

We discussed comforters and candlesticks, shower curtains and sheets. But as the minutes turned to hours, my once-cheerful fiancé sat slumped on the floor with his back up against the side of a toaster display, mumbling, “I don’t care anymore. Just pick something!”

As a male, he didn’t find the same exhilaration in this activity as I did. I had dreamed of this day for months! We’d select exactly what items we wanted in our humble home. Then well-wishing friends and family members would happily pay for them. What a setup! What I didn’t realize, however, was that these items wouldn’t be for my husband and I alone to use and enjoy. As they say, first comes love, then comes marriage . . . well, you know the rest.

Now three children and 25 years later, I wish I could choose my items all over again. Who would’ve ever imagined where some of those possessions would one day end up? If I’d known then what I know now? Well, here are some of the choices I would have made differently:

• Our state-of-the-art, stainless steel pasta colander. Instead of asking myself, “Is this big enough to hold spaghetti noodles for a party of 12?” I should have pondered the question, “Will this, when turned upside down and placed in our garden, be able to accommodate our son Spencer’s pet toad “Hoppy” and six of his closest kin, providing shelter while still allowing them to breathe?”

• Our 200-thread-count, full-size floral cotton sheet set. Instead of making sure it matched our comforter and complemented our bedroom colors, I should have given it this test: “Will it still be in good enough shape 10 years from now to be made into a tablecloth and napkin set for our five-year-old Mackenzie’s Victorian tea table?”

• Our Revere cookware set with the copper-clad bottoms. How foolish of me to diligently research and then choose based on its ability to conduct heat on both gas and electric burners. Why was I ever swayed by their warranty plan and top-notch Consumer Reports rating? Rather, I should have asked myself these questions: “Are there enough different-sized pans in this ensemble to make a full drum set for 18-month-old Mitchell armed with two large wooden soup spoons? Will it stand the test of time as the instrument of choice for three different drum-crazed children?” Thank goodness for their lifetime warranty!

• Our beautiful silver cake server with the real ivory handle. This one hurts! Here I envisioned cutting our beautiful wedding cake. Then we’d bring this fine piece of cutlery out of storage year after year only for special anniversaries and important milestones. I never dreamed where it would one day end up. Here’s what I should have contemplated instead: “Will this be the perfect fit as a four-year-old’s makeshift belt, instantly turning him into Peter Pan, ready to take on Captain Hook with his (as he puts it) ‘trusty sword’ by his side?”

• Our dish drainer. Not much thought went into that decision. I just chose one based on our kitchen color scheme. I should have, however, given thought to this:

“Will this be large enough to properly drain 14 small rubber snakes, six plastic frogs, and four snapping turtles from the dollar store after my five-year-old is finished playing with them in the bath tub?”

Well, there you have it. Thankfully our crystal goblets are safely locked up in the china hutch. Otherwise, who knows what disaster might have befallen them. Just the other day, my boys wondered how many shots from a Red Ryder BB gun it might take to shatter real glass instead of the simple cardboard targets they now use. I should have gone for the Tupperware tumblers!

Karen Ehman is a the Director of Speakers for Proverbs 31 Ministries and the author of four books including A Life That Says Welcome and The Complete Guide to Getting & Staying Organized. She has been a guest on national television and radio programs including At Home Live, Engaging Women, The Harvest Show, Moody Midday Connection and Dr. James Dobson’s Focus on the Family.

Please insert links to Karen’s books in P31 Resources

Karen resides in Michigan with her college sweetheart-turned-husband, Todd. Together they have three sometimes argumentative but mostly charming teenagers. The Ehman family enjoys regularly opening their home for impromptu pizza parties, ping-pong and sharing Jesus. You can find out more about Karen by visiting her blog at www.KarenEhman.com.

Following Through on Prayer Promises

2011-05-02T17:40:00.000-04:00

By Julie Gillies

Have you ever promised to pray for someone and then completely forgotten about it? I have. I'm not only frustrated by my failure to pray, I'm embarrassed - especially when I run into my friend later.

The truth is we need each other's prayers. Yet, from the moment we wake up until we drop into bed at day's end, we're busy . . . with our children, household chores, errands - the list never ends.

So, how do we make good on the promise to pray for someone? Here are some strategies I've developed to help me back up my words with action.

Write it down. If you don't have a prayer list, make one. Then place it where you'll see it regularly: inside your Bible, next to your bed, or, if necessary, tape it to your bathroom mirror.
Ask God to remind you. He will. Expect to be reminded while you're busy doing something else. Determine to pray on the spot for your friend, just as soon as you receive the prompting. If you must, excuse yourself to the restroom for a few minutes.
Schedule it in your planner/iTouch/Blackberry/Daytimer. As in: Monday, 9:30 a.m. - pray for Angela.

Stay in touch with your friend. E-mail her or drop a pretty note card in the mail reminding her that you're praying. Ask how things are going so you can pray specifically. This not only encourages your friend, it keeps you accountable while you pray her through.

Remember, it's okay to pray for someone for a limited time. You can tell your friend, "I'll pray for you this week." I regularly modify my prayer list, crossing off one person and adding another as God leads and situations change. This way I don't have an unrealistic, never-ending prayer list.
If you don't feel like you can manage to pray regularly for her right now, don't make the offer. You can always pray with her just once on the phone, over lunch, or whenever else you get together. Better one sincere prayer together than a promise you probably won't keep.

The prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective (see James 5:16), but only if we actually pray them. With these simple strategies and God's help, we can follow through on our prayer promises. And we’ll have the blessing of knowing our prayers are a blessing in another’s life.

Julie Gillies trained in intercessory prayer for five years. Over 90 of her articles have appeared in various publications, and she is a contributing writer to the books Daily Devotions for Writers and Penned from the Heart. Julie is the Critique Groups Coordinator for Proverbs 31 Ministries and serves on the editorial team for P31 Woman magazine. Julie is founder of Word Chicks, a prayer ministry for women who write and/or speak. Visit her website at: www.JulieGillies.com

Ten “At-Risk” Factors for Diabetes and Pre-Diabetes

2011-03-31T13:47:00.001-04:00

by Lisa Morrone

One in three adults have problems regulating their blood sugar. Could you be the “one”? Consider these questions:

1. Are you carrying around excess belly fat? (Especially if your waist, when measured just above your belly button, is greater than 35 inches.)

2. Do you have a parent or sibling who was diagnosed with diabetes?

3. Would you consider your lifestyle to be mostly sedentary?

4. Have you been diagnosed with high blood pressure, even if it is controlled with medication?

5. Have you been told that you have unhealthy cholesterol levels, even if you are taking medication to improve those levels?

6. Are you often thirsty and do you urinate frequently (eight times a day)?

7. Are you over 45 years of age?

8. Have you ever had gestational diabetes?

9. Have you given birth to a baby weighing more than nine pounds?

10. Have you been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome?

If you’ve checked off one or more of the above risk factors, ask your physician to order an A1C Test (blood test) so you can learn if you’re already “too sweet.”

How I Slashed High Utility Costs With Very Little Discomfort

2011-03-31T13:42:00.002-04:00

by Teresa Ambord

"Look at this," said Anne. "My utility bill doubled since last month!"

My friend's words scared me. If my power bill doubled, I'd be in double trouble. When California's electricity market went out of control a few years ago, the utility company warned us prices would soar. They weren't kidding. My friend's bill doubled, and before long it tripled. As a single mom, there was no way I could pay those prices. So I made some changes. And to my great relief, our bills not only didn't increase, but over time they decreased. The most surprising thing was that we barely noticed the difference in how we live and use power.

Here's what I did:

• I replaced the light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs which use less energy. But because the bulbs are expensive, I didn't replace them all at once. I started with the most-used lights in our house. Gradually, I replaced some of the others. And for lights we seldom use, I decided it was more cost effective to leave the old, cheaper bulbs.

• Like most people, we make many quick trips into the kitchen or bathroom every evening. Each time, a light was flipped on for a moment or two. A teacher of mine once told me that more electricity is required to turn a light than to leave it on for half an hour or so. I've never been able to prove this theory, but it makes sense. So to avoid flipping lights off and on all the time, I bought some night-lights and installed them in keys rooms, such as the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms. They cost a dollar each, use almost no electricity and last forever. And they provide enough light for most of the quick trips. Unless I'm shaving my legs, I even take my shower by night-light which is more pleasant than the glare of overhead lights.

• In two dark closets that have no light source of their own I installed touch lights that use batteries.

• As for laundry, I wash full loads in cold water. If the clothes need a little extra help, I let them soak in the full washer for a while or pre-treat them. I have a clothesline in my backyard and another over the washer. And in the winter, I use a wooden clothes rack inside. The rack cost nine dollars at Wal-Mart and saves a bundle. To prevent stiffness, I let the clothes hang till they are almost dry, and then toss them in the dryer with a dryer sheet for ten minutes.

• For baking, my big oven has practically been retired. There is very little I can't bake in my toaster oven which uses a fraction of the energy. Of course, my family is small so this is easy for me. On the rare occasions I do use my big oven during cold weather, after I've finished and turned off the oven, I leave the oven door open to take advantage of the escaping heat.

• As for savings on hot water, each of us cut back our shower times by a couple of minutes. The hot water feels good but comes at a high price.

Our utility company put the icing on the cake for me. To help beleaguered power customers, they began a program whereby, if we cut back our usage 20%, we got a 20% discount. Meeting this goal was no problem; in fact, we easily cut back 40%. We have met it every single month and barely noticed the difference in comfort. If anything, the laundry takes a little more effort to accomplish, but other than that it's been so easy that it’s hard to believe how much we've saved.

Eventually power returned to more affordable prices and we could splurge a little. But I don't really see a need. We haven't sacrificed much. If anything has changed, it’s that we think first before flipping on a power switch. I've gotten addicted to those lower bills and I'm not anxious to let them creep higher. I've got better things to do with my money than to support the power company. Now that money is tight all over, I am grateful for good habits.

Teresa Ambord is a full-time writer for a business publication known as BizActions. She has the privilege of working from home, in the company of her small dogs. She is also a volunteer foster mother of abused and abandoned animals for Another Chance Animal Welfare League. She has been published in Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul, Cup of Comfort for Christmas, Cup of Comfort for Sisters, Cup of Comfort for Dog Lovers II, Dad's Bow Tie, and more.

The Perfect Liar

2011-03-31T13:37:00.002-04:00

by Jeanette Towne

I never considered myself a liar. Good Christian woman, happily married, proud mother of four teens and the President and CEO of a corporation. As many of us do, I put on my plastic smile every day, dressed myself in the armor of coordinating clothes and padded myself with a thick wall of my untouchable façade. As an elaborate feast served buffet style, you could see a public exhibition of my life. What you saw from the outside appeared perfect. Every piece in place, my life was absolutely flawless. Or was it?

Several years ago while driving home with a new girlfriend I had met during a week-long mission trip I began to expose my lie. My friend shared her life story, detailing a desperate young mother who finally escaped an abusive marriage. God spoke loudly and directly to my heart. He encouraged me to open my mouth for once and to share. Risk myself to save another. Over hundreds of freeway miles, I obeyed and shared with my friend the story of me. Young, impulsive 19-year-old student, who at the urging and promise from an older boyfriend, dropped out of college, quit her job, sold her car and eloped. I explained to my friend how that one mistake almost cost me my life. I told her the next 10 years were spent as a captive, caught in the invisible web and downward spiral of horrific domestic abuse. God saved me and I miraculously escaped, never to return.

A few weeks after that long road trip, I received a letter from my friend. She encouraged me to get my story out. She told me God worked a miracle in my life and sharing this would give others hope. By being transparent it would help to educate, warn and provide inspiration for other women caught in the cycle. I argued. Why at this point while living the perfect lie would I want to be honest, open up and share the 10 years of my life that were a living nightmare? There could only be two reasons; one, I would be completely insane, or two, I would feel the conviction from God.

One of the scariest days of my life was the day I had to speak in my own church. My own church! These are the families who have known me for almost 10 years. These are the people who have seen my perfect life and have taken the bait and believed my perfect lie. Lie….who me? Yes. By not telling the truth and giving Him the glory for what He has done in my life, I was omitting to tell how miraculous and big our God really is. He provided a modern day miracle in my life and how did I thank Him for this feat? I hid the story and buried the truth to keep up my façade and show everyone my life without blemish.

I am convinced that hundreds of women come through the doors of our churches, wearing their mask of perfection and hiding the small cracks that produce instability beneath the smooth exterior. We must stop retouching our lip gloss, pasting on our plastic smiles and lying to everyone around us. We are all fractured vessels, pulling our cracked ships into the port of our churches to rest, repair and set out to sea again. If we fail to repair our cracks, we live these lies and are incapable of moving beyond our own hurt to look outward in hopes of pulling another ailing vessel into port.

God has touched me and healed me; bringing me to a point where I can look at what He brought me through and use my experiences to help others. No, I don’t have the perfect life but I’m not lying anymore. Are you? Many of you have been in relationships like I was in, many of you have things you’ve stuffed down and cover. We cannot lie anymore and pretend to live the perfect life, smiling and hiding what God wants to do in our lives to heal us. Healing us and then allowing us to impact others for Him.

Today, He has given me the courage to uncover my “perfect lie,” to become transparent, to share my story. By opening up my life (and yours), we can enter into His will, continue the process of healing, and eventually minister to others.

Jeanette Towne is the author of “From Prisoner to President,” and the President and CEO of a U. S. Based Communications Corporation. She has been happily married to her husband, Sam, for almost twenty years. Together they are raising four teenagers and enjoying life in the western United States. Jeanette loves to share her incredible and miraculous story and is available for inspirational speaking engagements geared towards women’s groups. You may contact her via her website at www.prisonertopresident.com.

Enjoy a Sample of P31's Most Popular Blog Posts

2011-03-01T16:22:00.002-05:00

Simple Pleasures

By Luann Prater www.LuannPrater.com
I called home to check on my hubby one Saturday morning while speaking at a retreat. He abruptly said, "Can I call you back? There are 5 horses running through our backyard!"

Huh?

It seems our neighbor who takes in all old, mistreated or abandoned horses had one very clever stallion. He slipped the latch from the barn and boldly bolted out. Since he is a leader, the others faithfully followed.

They crossed the sometimes busy street and pranced along the lake enjoying the lawn. My husband, along with another neighbor corralled them in her fenced yard until the horse family returned. But they didn't return. It seems there was a disconnect in communication and whoever was suppose to watch them, didn't.

So the next day when I returned there were the horses cooped up leaving mountain-sized reminders of their visit. It was time to take action. We went into their stall and found harnesses. Not being horse people, we needed instruction on how exactly to put the thing on these spirited guys.

One by one, together, we led each one back into their pasture. We learned a little something about horses that weekend, but more importantly we learned how to share life with our neighbors. We laughed, planned, worked and rejoiced together when the final horse crossed safely into the familiar grass of home.

Sometimes I play follow the leader, and it's the wrong leader! John 10:3 reminds me who is my True Leader.

I love surprises that stretch me and teach me to simply enjoy the interruptions.

What interruption have you enjoyed lately?

Luann is the host of a one-hour live call-in radio show every Saturday called Encouragement Cafe with Luann & Friends, which broadcasts across the nation and online worldwide. She loves life and her zest for living is contagious. From stained tragedies to the brilliant glow of grace, she allows God to use her life struggles to portray a picture of hope and encouragement to others. You can find more about Encouragement Café by visiting www.EncouragmentCafe.com.

Stay

by Amy Carroll www.AmyCarroll.org

When I spoke in Peoria recently, I talked about friendships' essential components, and one of them is that we stay.

Stay through conflict.

Stay through struggles.

Stay through suffering.

Stay through uncomfortableness (my spell check tells me that's not a word but you get it).

Stay through spiritual uneveness.

Mary Magdalene is such a beautiful example of this. Because of her great love for Jesus, she stayed.

She stayed after He set her free.

She stayed as He traveled.

She stayed through His torture.

She stayed at the cross.

She stayed at His burial.

She left only for Passover and returned AS SOON as it was over.

She stayed to pass on the news of His resurrection.

I have trouble staying. When a church doesn't quite fit my desires, I want to leave. When a friend is going through a bad time because of choices I can't endorse, I want to leave. When God does things I can't understand, I want to leave.

Come Thou Fount is my favorite hymn, and I think it's because this verse resounds so loudly with me:

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

I want to leave sometimes, but I long to learn to stay.

Amy Carroll is a member of the Proverbs 31 Speaker Team and the director of Next Step Speaker Services. She, her husband, their two teen-aged boys and a little red dog reside in Holly Springs, NC.

God’s Special Purpose for You
By Wendy Blight www.WendyBlight.com

As I write tonight, my heart is heavy for every woman who feels unworthy, unimportant, average, lonely, sad, and without purpose. At one time, that was the cry of my heart...what is my purpose, God? How could you ever use me?
But as I journeyed with God through some painful years, He taught me very powerful Truths.

For those of you sitting in the place I just described, may you never forget God created you with a special purpose. He says in His Word...

“For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.”
(Psalm 139:13-16)

God says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Sometimes the lies of the evil one tell us we are unworthy and there is no hope for us. But Jesus tells us in His Word that those words come from the one who is the father of lies. Please, please do not listen to him. Instead of believing lies, believe TRUTH from the One Who says, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life."
Hear Truth from God's Word today.

You are LOVED...
with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)

You are PRECIOUS and VALUABLE...
your name engraved on the palm of His hand. (Isaiah 49:16)

You are WORTHY...
for He gave the life of His only Son, Jesus Christ, for you. (John 3:16)

You are FORGIVEN...
you need only repent of your sin. (Acts 3:19)

You are REDEEMED...
the old is gone and the new has come...in Christ you are a new creation! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You are SAVED FOR A PURPOSE...
one for which He specially created you. (Ephesians 2:10)

Will you believe with me today that God created you for a great PURPOSE...one that only you can fulfill?
If you don't know that today, promise me you'll spend time in these verses and ask Your Father in heaven to make them very real to you! And if you have never accepted Christ, please visit our Proverbs 31 web site, and we will lead you through the steps to receive Christ. If you do this today, please let me know as well as Proverbs because we desire to come alongside you on your wonderful new journey with the Lord!
As I close my post, I am going to pray for each one of you that God brings here today...pray that this is a day you will have an amazing God moment...where you KNOW that you KNOW He is working in your midst, listening to the cry of your heart. He desires to heal your hurt and bring you back to wholeness.
I am praying for you!

Wendy currently lives in Charlotte, North Carolina and serves on the Proverbs 31 Speaker Team. She finds her greatest joy in teaching Bible study, writing curriculum, and leading on-line Bible studies through her blog.

Hug the Little Girl Within Me
by Melissa Taylor www.MelissaTaylor.org

This was NOT what I planned to write about today, but when I read it, I knew I had to share it. I know that many of my readers are/were victims of sexual abuse, like me. When I wrote the devotion Stained and Ruined last November, I had no idea how many women (and men too) that would be able to relate to my experience of being sexually abused. I received more emails, comments on my blog, visits to my blog, phone calls, and prayer requests than ever before. I was sick over the amount of women who are still haunted by their past. It saddened me to the point of being physically ill. My heart broke for them, just like it broke for the little girl (me) I knew who had been so cruelly violated.
For those of you who think back to your childhood and it makes you sad or you often feel like a little girl inside, this prayer is for you. It blessed me today and I hope it does the same for you. It is from the book “When I’m On My Knees” by Anita Corrine Donihue.

Hug The Little Girl Within Me
Dear Lord, hug the little girl within me—the little girl mistreated and abused. Encircle me with Your everlasting arms. Still my silent sobs. Anoint my head with Your healing oil; free me from my nightmares of memories. Touch my scars with Your healing stripes. Soothe each muscle that suffered in anger and pain. I know You suffered, too. Piece together my broken heart. Your heart bled and You died for me. In sleepless nights, wrap me in Your comforting presence. Let me rest in the shadow of You, the Almighty. Hug the little girl in me as You cover me with Your feathers like a mother hen does her chicks. I find refuge under Your wings. Help me to face yesterday (wrong as it was), to forgive as You forgive me, and to look toward tomorrow with hope. Your faithfulness will be my shield and rampart. Let me not feel terror by night nor arrows that fly by day. Take my weakness and grant me Your strength. Make my feet swift at the dawning of a new day to do service for You. I go now in praise.
But please, Lord, don’t ever stop hugging me.

And we can be assured that He never will. Today let’s grasp the hope we have in Jesus, and let go of our despair and fear from the past. We are wrapped tight in the arms of our Rescuer and Savior and nothing can separate us from Him.
Romans 8:38- “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, not any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Melissa is a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries and a contributing author to “God’s Purpose for Every Woman”, “The Reason We Speak”, and “Encouragement for Today” devotions. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina, with her husband, four children and two dogs. For information on booking Melissa to speak, information about her online Bible studies, or just to read her words of hope, humor and encouragement, visit www.MelissaTaylor.org.

When I Am Free....
By Lynn Cowell www.LynnCowell.com

"Mom, the dog won't come! I think she has run away again."

Uggg....This was MY time. Why should I have to take care of the dog? I never wanted her any way! These were the stinky thoughts in my brain last night at 9:30 p.m. After spending the day doing the "have to's" I was enjoying a few minutes of "want to's" and I didn't want to be interrupted!

As I got up off the couch, my daughter asked, "What is wrong?". She might as well have been the Holy Spirit Himself. What was wrong with me?

My problem...me.

Do you ever suffer from the Me Syndrome? I sure do; often in fact. If it doesn't help or benefit me, I really don't want to do it! I guess that is why Galatians 5:13 jumped off the pages.

"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love." (NIV)

Ouch! That really hurt! Freedom is given so I can serve. Ok, Lord, so where do you want to free me so I can serve? Here is the short list of what was downloaded to my heart in a mere two minutes of asking that question:

When I am free from ambition, I am free to serve with a joyful heart.

When I am free from selfishness, I am free from irritation.

When I am free from jealousy, I am free to rejoice in good things in the life of another.

When I am free from judgement, I am free to pray for others from a pure heart.

When I am free from expectation, I am free to enjoy whatever life brings.

When I am freed from controlling others, I am free to see God do the miraculous.

When I am truly free, I will see the Kingdom of God at work in my life.

Friends, I just cannot tell you how desperate I am to see the Kingdom of God come in my life. Desperate people take desperate measures. I have to pursue Him this year in an abandonment like never before. I have to; I want to be free...free of me.

Do you too want to be free? Free to find total and utter completion in Jesus? What steps will you need to take to make that freedom a reality?

Lynn Cowell is a speaker and writer with Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina with her husband of 23 years and her three teenage children. The Cowell’s enjoy all types of outdoor sports: rugby, hiking, fast pitch softball and white water rafting. She is the author of “His Revolutionary Love: Jesus’ Radical Pursuit of You”; a study for young women. She loves sushi, well worn sweatshirts and anything that combines chocolate and peanut butter.

Top 10 Ways You Can Choose Hope and Claim Peace

2011-03-01T16:19:00.001-05:00

By Melissa Taylor

This was the hardest “Top 10” list I’ve written yet. I wanted to give practical ways to achieve peace, but that was a challenge. A big part of achieving peace is based on what you’re putting into your mind. What I’ve determined is that peace is a choice. I don’t mean to trivialize it because I know how easily peace can be snatched. Ultimately, when we put our hope in God, peace is achievable and will follow.

10. Begin by living in the light. Of course the light of Christ, but also light up your world. Open the blinds. Take a walk in the sunshine. Turn on some lights in your house. Listen to music that brightens your mood, not dampens it. Get rid of the misery around you and let light surround you. Invite hope into your life.

9. Spend time in God’s Word. I know Christians tell you to do that all the time. And you probably wish you had more time to do so, don’t you? I get that, I do. But it’s true that God’s Word is a “lamp to your feet and a light to your path” (Psalm 119:105) And since #10 instructed you to get a little more light in your life, well then give it a try. Romans 15:4 says, “For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” (NIV) The knowledge of the Scriptures affects our attitude toward the present and the future. (Life Application Bible) Attitude is half the battle in gaining a hope perspective that leads to peace. God’s Word can help.

8. Dismiss depressing thoughts quickly. Be aware of what you are thinking. Do your thoughts tend to be negative, condemning, or gloomy? Not much room for hope in the company of those characters. Next time you find yourself dwelling on something depressing, stop it! You don’t want to do that. 2 Corinthians 10:5b, “…We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.” (CEV) So, catch those thoughts, give them up, and listen to Jesus who says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

7. Here’s a practical one. List 5 things that bring you hope or 5 things you are hopeful for. Read them when you need to. Can’t think of 5? Then make them up. You gotta start somewhere.

6. Don’t give up. “You feel hopeless because you have been using your own power, not because there is no hope. You feel hopeless because you have been headed in the wrong direction, not because there is not hope. You feel hopeless because you have cut yourself off from others who could help you and guide you, not because there is not hope…You are not hopeless because there is not hope. There is hope for you, if you will just persevere long enough to find it.” Stephen Arterburn (from Tammy Maltby’s book Confessions of a Good Christian Girl) Choose to persevere long enough to find hope.
5. Choose to be hopeful even when you don’t feel it. I struggle with this so I remind myself to choose hope. I wear a bracelet almost every day that says “HOPE” on it. I have a Willow Tree Angel of Hope in my den. I have Scriptures of hope posted at my desk at work. I’m choosing hope and hope brings me peace. When I’m struggling greatly with this, I get help! I talk to a friend, ask my Bible study gals to pray for me, or when it’s been too overwhelming, I have sought professional help. Do whatever it takes, but don’t live life based on your feelings. They can be so fickle. Choose hope. Live in peace. Don’t settle for less.

4. Thank God for your trials and hardships. Believe me, I know that sounds crazy. These next verses give big time purpose to our trials and suffering, therefore offering peace. Romans 5:3b-5a, “we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…” (NIV) I’ve been through many trials where hope seemed lost and these verses have restored that. And that brought me peace. Take it for your own.

3. Take a time out for yourself. Psalm 46:10 instructs us to do that so we will understand Who is in control. Remember, when life is chaotic and peace seems far away, get quiet where you can hear God and God alone.
“Be still and know that I am God.” (NIV)
“Calm down and learn that I am God.” (CEV)
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God,
above politics, above everything.” (The Message)

2. Pray hope and peace for yourself. Like this:
“Lord, when my peace is broken by problems that come, remind me that You are always there caring about anything and everything that concerns me. I want to praise You through the painful places I walk through so I can rest in Your perfect peace. Thank You for giving me hope and being my peace. Please help me have hope and peace today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen (portions of this prayer are from Prayers to My King by Sheri Rose Shepherd)

1. Accept God’s plan for your life. When you’ve lost hope, you have nothing. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing to believe in. You begin to question if God exists for you or just other people. This verse tells us very different. Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God does exist for you. He has plans for you. He has a purpose for your life and it is good. But you have to choose to trust Him. Choose to accept the hope God offers. Take it for your own. Look ahead with hope. As you do, soak in the peace it gives you.

God loves you. He created you and He had a good reason in doing so. I pray that you will give Him a chance. Never lose hope. Once when my marriage was on the verge on ending, I asked my husband, “Is there any hope for us?” He replied, “Just an ounce.” I immediately took that “ounce of hope” to the Lord and asked Him to multiply it. That was my prayer for the months ahead where we fought for our marriage. The restoration process wasn’t easy, but because I had hope, I was able to hang in there and claim peace. Peace that didn’t come from my circumstances. Peace that wasn’t a part of my surroundings. It was inside of me. It came from God. I had to choose it and I’m so thankful I did.

I don’t pretend that life is easy. It’s not. Hope and peace are available to us at all times, but we have to take them. In the middle of our sometimes raging world, I’m praying that you will claim them for your own and live life how God intended, with His peace in your heart.

Take it to Heart: Helping Kids Memorize Scripture

2011-02-01T17:44:00.001-05:00

By Christine Hoover

Like a good Baptist girl, I grew up doing Bible Drill. We memorized verses, learned the books of the Bible, and competed in drills to see how fast we could recollect what we'd learned. At the time, it wasn't one of my favorite things, but, now, I'm really glad I did it. The verses and passages I memorized are still there, especially those that my friends and I made into rhymes.

Now, I'm purposeful about helping my kids memorize Scripture. Even if the concepts in the verses are sometimes difficult for young minds, I trust that the Lord will begin to help them understand, and that He'll bring the words to mind throughout their lives.

I'm starting to see the fruit of my labor; my kids have Scripture tucked away and even remind me that it's time for Bible verses when I forget in the busyness of our day.

Over time, I've developed a system that works for our family. Here are some tips:

• Start Early
Kids can start around age 3 or even younger if they see an older sibling learning. My oldest, who is 7, is great at memorizing and started young. I tried to push my middle son, now 4, to start at the same age as his older brother and he really resisted to the point of it being a struggle. I decided to stop rather than make it something he despised. He sat and listened to his older brother learn his verses every day and, one day, announced that he was ready to start.

• Be Consistent
We work on our verses during or after snack time every weekday. I write out a group of verses that each child needs to learn in order to receive a reward and hang it on the fridge. Everyday, we review the one they just learned and then work on the latest verse. My middle son prefers saying all of his verses in order everyday, but my older son only does it once a week as a review. Each day, they get a sticker for the verse they’re working on.

• Celebrate Effort and Successes
I try to make this time as fun as possible and I celebrate with them with each verse they learn. After they reach the benchmark I’ve set for them, they say their verses for Dad and then get to pick out a small toy as a reward.

• Explain Why
We discuss why we’re memorizing verses from the Bible, the importance of the Bible, and the meaning of the verses we’re memorizing. I have had many opportunities to share the gospel with my children during our memory work.

• Reinforce with Music
I’ve found the most helpful reinforcement is in the form of verses set to music. My kids love “Seeds Family Worship” and Steve Green's “Hide ‘Em In Your Heart” songs. I have been shocked at how fast they pick up verses just from listening to music as we drive around in the car.

I have discovered that my attitude toward Scripture memory is the same attitude my children will have. If I make it drudgery or an obligation each afternoon, they resist doing it. However, when I make the process fun and relaxed and praise their hard work, they enjoy that time.

The best part of consistency in Scripture memory with my children is that I am learning it all right alongside them and, according to Psalm 119:11, helping my kids hide truth in their hearts.

Christine lives in Charlottesville, VA with her pastor-husband and three young boys. She bribes her sons to learn Scripture with time playing Mario Kart and trips to the Dollar Store. Follow her life as a pastor's wife and mom at hooverhousehold.blogspot.com.

What Not to Say to Your Husband

2011-02-01T17:16:00.003-05:00

By Melanie Chitwood

Adapted from Melanie’s books, What a Husband Needs from His Wife and What a Wife Needs from Her Husband by Melanie Chitwood

Tyler was three years old when he was riding home from preschool with his best little girlfriend Brooke. Out of the blue, Brooke looked at Tyler and asked, “Tyler, do you love me?” As he looked out the car’s window Tyler answered, “Brooke, look at the trees!” Not to be deterred, Brooke asked again, “But Tyler, do you love me?” Tyler firmly answered, “Brooke! Look at the trees!”

I love this story because it reminds me that even at a young age males and females communicate differently. Because of these differences, communication in marriage can often lead to miscommunication instead of connection.

This list of things not to say to your husband will help you avoid some typical roadblocks on the path to communicating with your spouse.

Honey, can we talk?

When we say this to our husbands, we trigger some fear in our husbands. He assumes this means you want to talk about a problem and the problem will probably be him. Once again he’ll be in the doghouse, not a place he wants to be, especially in your eyes.

Also, while women tend to be natural at sharing, many men uncomfortable and unnatural to sit and talk face to face. Our husbands might need some warming up before they can jump into a conversation. A good way to get your husband talking is to introduce a topic he cares about, perhaps work or basketball. In addition, studies show men are much more likely to open up while they’re engaged in some kind of activity with their wives, such as going for walk, a drive to the store, or just hanging out with him while he putters in the garage.

I heard Jim got a new promotion.

With statements like this, your husband is quick to assume you’re implying he’s a failure. One insight about men that has helped me tremendously is to understand that most men are constantly wondering if they measure up. And many times they feel like they’re not.

Most husbands want to please their wives and to provide what their family wants. Any kind of statement, such as, the Hansens got a new car. Sure wish we could afford one… cuts a man to the heart with its implication that he’s not enough. Even if this isn’t what you meant, it’s the way a typical man will interpret this type of statement. Find ways to fill your husband up with praise and thank you’s for what he does for you and your family.

I forgot to tell you about …

Okay, I’m guilty of this. Just the other day while Scott was out-of-town working, I somehow managed to run into our mailbox (no, I wasn’t even on the cell phone), leaving a huge scrape down the side of the car. I didn’t tell Scott on the phone. I just wanted to avoid it. I felt stupid, and I knew Scott would be understandably frustrated about the repair expense. So he had a little surprise when he got home.

“No secrets” is a good policy for marriage. Our husbands can handle more than we give them credit for. When it comes to finances, matters with kids, family activities, and emotional issues in our marriages we need to speak with kindness, truth, and honesty. My husband tells me he does not like to get to blindsided, especially by something I could have and should have told him. The “no secrets” policy establishes trust in our marriages.

Do I look fat in this?

When we pose this question, we’re putting our man in a no-win situation. After all, is any sane husband going to answer, “Yes, and maybe you should go on a diet.” Whatever he answers, it’s probably not going to be the right answer to cover the insecurity we’re already feeling that may have prompted this question. He probably won’t be enthusiastic enough when he tells us we look great. And we might even be mad he didn’t say we looked great without having to fish for a compliment.

Maybe you feel like your husband never comments on your appearance and you’d really like him to. Tell him just that in a sincere and gentle way, not an accusing or angry way. Be direct. Most men don’t get hints.

When we’re looking for communication solutions in our marriage, let’s remember that the differences in communication styles are many times exactly the way God planned it. We’re told in Genesis 1:27 that we’re created in God’s image, uniquely male and uniquely female. As we accept the differences rather than fight against them, we’ll find our way on the path to better communication with our husbands.

Melanie Chitwood is married to Scott, a corporate pilot and business owner, and mother to two sons. Melanie lives in Charlotte, NC and serves on the Proverbs 31 Ministries Writing Team. Drawing from the lessons God reveals in her own marriage and in God's Word, Melanie’s marriage books, What a Husband Needs from His Wife (Harvest House, 2006) and What a Wife Needs from Her Husband (Harvest House 2010), provide couples a spiritual foundation and practical ways to invest in their marriage every day.

Click here to purchase from P31 Ministries:

http://shopp31.com/melaniechitwoodsresources.aspx

Being Sure

2011-02-01T17:13:00.001-05:00

By Amy Carroll

Doubt assailed me. I can be such a pessimist…for myself. (For everyone else, I’m a complete optimist!) As I dialed Lysa, our ministry’s president, I was having thoughts like, “She’ll tell me someone else has proposed this idea, and it’s been rejected. Or maybe she’ll like the idea but think I’m not the one to do the job.”

I was afraid to risk hope. In my article “Without a Net” featured in P31 Woman this month, I share about my journey of diving into a new idea from God while letting go of my backup plan.

It was scary to bring a proposal to Lysa that was outside my formal education and experience. To change careers and jump into the unpredictable world of entrepreneurship, I needed to be sure I was following God’s intent. This was a decision too big for impulsive action, so I began looking for some crucial signs and asking myself important questions.

First, I considered if my plan fit into God’s Word. For over 20 years, God has been teaching me that the Bible trumps every other influence in my life. I needed to make sure my job change wouldn’t violate the principles laid out in scripture in any way. “God, is it ok to help women convey Your message more effectively and engagingly?” I asked. Check!

The second hurdle was to watch for confirmation. The most important confirmation I received was from my husband Barry. He knows me better than anyone else on the planet and had watched my shift of focus and passion for over 10 years. I needed him to believe in me, and as the spiritual leader of our home, to have faith I was taking the right path. This job shift would also change our family’s financial status for a time, so it was crucial he be on board. His enthusiasm and support for my new project is my lifeline for long-term, through-the-hard-times success.

Lysa’s confirmation in that phone call and eventual approval of a new branch for Proverbs 31 Ministries not only fueled my fire but increased my confidence that I was within God’s will.

God has made it abundantly clear He uses my friends and mentors to confirm or warn when I’m making big decisions. I knew and trusted that Lysa would be listening for God’s direction even as she poured over my business plan. Her enthusiasm for my new project strengthened me on my journey to being sure.

Also, a little miracle happened during my conversation with Lysa. One of my greatest concerns was the lack of a steady paycheck during the time that Next Step Speaker Services was built. Lysa was concerned about that too and offered me a part-time job doing some projects for her. It was yet another sweet confirmation and an unexpected “hug” from God to loosen the grip of my anxieties.

The final question was, “Are you prepared to do the hard work?” While it’s true God ultimately accomplishes His purposes in ways far beyond what we can ask or imagine, we have a part in His plans. Reading the book of Nehemiah, I discovered how one of God’s servants accomplished a huge task. I came away with a deep appreciation for my part of success—organization, communication, energy, delegation and hard, hard work. Scripture actually says that Nehemiah and the Israelites, “…continued the work with half the men holding spears, from the first light of dawn till the stars came out.” (Nehemiah 4:21 NIV) The good news is my new work is so exhilarating that I bounce out of bed every morning excited to start!

The final outcome from receiving confirmations and answering my important questions was that I was sure it was time to leave my own backup plan behind and leap into God’s new purpose for me.

Now, whenever doubts start to twirl through my brain like, “What are you doing? You haven’t replaced your salary yet!” I can remember the steps I’ve gone through to get here and banish those thoughts with, “I’m doing what God has planned for me, and He’s got it all under control.”

Amy Carroll is the blissful director of Proverb 31 Ministries’ new Next Step Speaker Services and a member of the ministry’s speaker team. She lives in North Carolina with her three favorite guys and a little, red dachshund. You can find Amy on any given day typing at her computer, reading a book or trying to figure out an alternative to cooking dinner. Visit Amy at www.amycarroll.org and find out more about the new speaker service at www.nextstepspeakerservices.org.

The Champion of Breakfasts

2011-01-01T06:00:00.002-05:00

by Lynn Bowen Walker

It’s not always easy to get your family out the door in the morning. There are the gym clothes to remember, homework to collect and shoes to unearth. And, if your family includes a reluctant eater, there is: The breakfast problem.

The breakfast problem arises when you, trying to do your good-mom job, direct your kids to the breakfast offerings. Cereal, maybe, or frozen waffles, or a piece of fruit. Your child – let’s say, for argument’s sake, a son – says he doesn’t like breakfast. Never has liked it. Doesn’t want any. Thank you very much.

You know that this young man will burn off approximately 13 trillion calories in the next six hours, starting with climbing on and off every bench he sees between his bedroom and his school locker. He will spend all breaks between classes with a ball of some sort, bouncing it, catching it, whamming it against inviting-looking walls. Then, he will take all opportunities to burn a few more calories trading jabbed elbows with best friend, which will inevitably wind up in a friendly wrestling match on a grassy field, a gymnasium mat, or the lunchroom floor. He will also, after school, head straight to a two-and-a-half hour basketball practice, whereby, in just stopping at the water fountain, he will burn the remaining 25 calories that presently cling to his 95-pound frame.

In short, this young man desperately needs calories. Good solid calories that you, chief-mom, know come especially from that all-important, crucially nutritious, early morning meal. But, as I believe I’ve mentioned, he refuses to eat. I feel your pain. I have been there.

On that remarkable day when my teenage son turned to me and said (finally), “Mom, I think I want to eat a healthy breakfast; it’ll help me in sports,” the heavens opened, the angels rejoiced, a thousand hallelujah choruses rang out. I immediately began researching breakfast options that contained words other than “chocolate” and “Pop-tarts.”

Here are a couple true and tried breakfast offerings that your oh-so-not-a-morning-person child might actually eat. You can prepare them while humming a made-up little tune to the following words: “She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household . . .” (Prov. 31:15a)

And what do you know, someday her household might (finally) actually eat it.

Oatmeal-Peanut Butter Bars

Make these ahead of time. They keep well on the counter and can even be frozen.

Line a 13 x 9-inch pan with foil.

In large bowl, mix together ¾ c. peanut butter, ¾ c. brown sugar, and ¼ c. butter, until well blended. Stir in ¼ c. honey, 1 egg, and 1 t. vanilla. Add 1 c. oatmeal (uncooked), quick or regular, along with 1 c. uncooked oat bran and ½ c. nonfat dry milk.

Stir until mixed. It will be a little crumbly. Press into prepared pan and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes, until edges are lightly browned. After it cools, lift out of pan by the foil and onto cutting board. Cut into two-inch squares.

Berry-Lime Smoothie

Smoothies are a great way to get fruit into your kids. If they like them, you can experiment with all kinds of ingredients, from mango to blueberries to peach nectar to yogurt. Here’s a tasty start.

Place in blender 1 c. frozen strawberries, 1 c. fresh or frozen pineapple chunks, ½ c. frozen raspberries, ¼ c. orange juice, and 2 T. frozen limeade concentrate. Whirl together- you can add a bit more juice, if needed. Bendy straws make it even more delicious.

Lynn Bowen Walker is the author of “Queen of the Castle: 52 Weeks of Encouragement for the Uninspired, Domestically Challenged or Just Plain Tired Homemaker.” You can read a chapter of her book at www.christianbook.com.

An Annual Verse to Shape My Heart

2011-01-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

By Sharon Sloan

“I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on Your laws. I run in the path of Your commands, for You have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:30, 32

Fresh start. New beginning. Desire for change and growth. These thoughts fill my mind, as I turn the page of my calendar and a new year unfolds. While I love New Year goals like organizing my house or living within a budget, what really matter most to me is the condition of my heart. So each January, I ask God to show me a specific scripture He wants to use to reshape my heart during the coming year.

I know my response to God comes from my heart. If my heart is selfish, or opposes God in any way, I won’t experience the renewal I desire for my life. The best way to find a fresh start or a new beginning is with a clean heart, and for that I need the Word of God.

In the Old Testament, David prayed for God to cleanse him from his sin and purify his heart, (Psalm 51:10). Inviting God through His Word to search and cleanse our hearts is the primary requirement for a renewal. Hebrews 4:12 says this about God’s Word: “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

My very first annual verse many years ago was Philippians 2:3: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Do nothing out of selfish ambition! Many years later, this timeless truth from God’s Word reverberates in me daily, often moment by moment.

In God’s orderly character, each annual verse has built upon the one before. Here are some from the past few years:

2006: “Those who honor Me, I will honor…” 1 Samuel 2:30

2007: “For My own sake, for My own sake, I do this… I will not yield My glory to another.” Isaiah 48:11

2008: "Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to Your name be the glory, because of Your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1

2009: “I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise Your name for Your love and Your faithfulness, for You have exalted above all things Your name and Your word.” Psalm 138:2

2010: “If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You.” Exodus 33:13

God has gently and faithfully been transforming my heart continually through His Word. As the annual verses string together in harmonious succession year after year, I see clearly His theme for me: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).

As I pause to reflect on all my annual verses beginning with Philippians 2:3 through Exodus 33:13, I see His perfect design: All because of Him, all for Him, and all to know Him.

Jesus told us in Matthew 5:8 that those with a pure heart are blessed and they will see God. God wants to give us a new, moldable heart. He leads us through a process as He transforms us into the image of His son. Godly character is not built immediately, but rather through consistent, gradual growth.

Dawning on the horizon of our hearts is a fresh, New Year. Let’s seek Him for a treasure from His truth and ask Him to transform and reshape our hearts.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

Sharon Sloan and her husband, Jim, live in Bucks County, Pennsylvania with their two children. Sharon is a She Speaks graduate and leads a P31 Gather & Grow group in her home. A paralegal by profession, Sharon now works part-time at her church. Sharon is passionate about encouraging women in their personal walk with the Lord by daily being in His Word. The Sloans invite you to visit them at: www.joyinthetruth.blogspot.com.

Simplify Christmas

2010-12-01T10:45:00.001-05:00

Looking for ways to simplify your Christmas? Try these ideas from the P31 staff and start making more of the Christmas season--with less.

One way our family simplifies holiday gatherings is to take the potluck approach to dinner. The host family prepares a turkey and/or ham and other family members bring side dishes, desserts and disposable tableware. We organize who is bringing what via email. This takes a lot of pressure off of the host family and spreads the cost and responsibility among everyone.

Janet Burke, Assistant Editor, P31 Woman

My family is very simple in our Christmas outdoor decorating. We might have a wreath and a strand of lights around the door. On Christmas Eve, our home takes on a more traditional decoration: Luminarias. I grew up, and still live, in Arizona. This is a traditional Southwestern tradition that has spread across the country. Here, on Christmas Eve, we line our walkways with paper bags, lit from within by candles sitting in a bit of sand. It’s very simple, but it’s a way to welcome Jesus to our world.

Glynnis Whitwer, Editor, P31 Woman

Until Christmas Eve, nothing goes under the tree except the nativity scene. That way we focus on the true gift of Christmas and… everyone that comes over asks us why there is only a nativity scene under our tree, so it provides an opportunity to share our hearts.

We hang a stocking for Jesus. I ask visitors not to bring gifts but, instead, bring a gift card to a local grocery store. We give the cards to our pastor so he can distribute to needy families during the holidays.

LeAnn Rice, Executive Director

Give the gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Instead of flooding your family members with gifts in large numbers, focus on quality instead. Narrow your choices down to a few significant items that communicate love, inspire creativity, and encourage growth in Christ.

Adopt the advent calendar. Lengthen your season of celebration by following an advent calendar. Try spreading your special traditions and events over the weeks leading up to and following Christ’s birth, instead of cramming everything into a couple of whirlwind days.

Make it personal. Instead of buying into the commercialization of Christmas, consider which decorations, foods, or gifts you and your family members can make. Discover the joy and satisfaction of being creative together.

Carve out quiet times. Gather your favorite Christmas books and your Bible, and commit to a time of quiet each day. Read a short selection, sip some tea, and slow down long enough to take it all in.

Reach out. What do you do best during the holidays? And what do those close to you do best? Offer to exchange skills to maximize your time and abilities. Allow others to help with things that burden you—and offer your help in areas that light you up.

Don’t overdo it. Make a list of the most cherished parts of your holiday celebration—making sure to get your family’s input. Stick to those things that are truly meaningful and keep you focused on Christ. Allow these to take deeper root in your family’s traditions and let the less significant, distracting things go.

Janine Petry, P31 Woman Editing Team

Last Christmas my husband and I committed to spending less money on the “stuff” of Christmas and spending more time on the “spirit” of it. That meant we needed to get creative about gift giving. Instead of traditional presents, we gave the gift of our presence. We looked at our relationships and decided how we could invest time in each of them. Then we got busy making coupons. I gave my husband coupons for coffee dates, dinner and movie dates, long walks and even some to “get off the computer now!” We made coupons for things like weekly phone calls to long-distance parents, quarterly lunches with out-of-touch siblings and offers to help with home improvements. Our families loved these presents and best of all our gifts kept giving long after the wrappings of Christmas were thrown away. It’s a tradition we plan to continue.

Kelli Regan, P31 Woman Editing Team

It Came Upon a Twilight Clear

2010-12-01T10:44:00.000-05:00

By Patsy O’Shea

I have always admired and coveted those beautifully decorated Christmas trees that are in department stores and magazines. The decorations on them are so in sync with their individualized colors and themes. If there are classes on tree decorating or a how-to manual, I haven’t attended the class or read the book.

You see, if I were to describe to you the decorations on my annual Christmas tree, in comparison to those in a department stores, it would be called “Hand-Me Down” There’s no particular color or theme carried throughout my tree.

Most ornaments placed on our tree were given to us as an expression of love. Baby’s First Christmas ornaments, those from cherished girl friends, and ornaments our children made in school as gifts to mom and dad. Then, there are ornaments from friends who have moved far away, but left lasting impressions on our hearts and lives. Each year when I bring out the box of decorations, I sit and reminisce over each ornament and the one who gave it.

But there is one particular ornament that brings tears to my eyes every year. It too has become a part of my special tree ornament collection. It arrived one snowy evening many years ago.

With only one week away until Christmas, my two elementary aged children and I were working furiously in the kitchen making our Christmas cookies. The room could only be described, and remembered by a mother, as a Norman Rockwell moment.

My young children’s faces and hair were dusted with flour. Their little hands and lips showed signs of licks from colored frosting and stuck on sprinkles. Our counters and table held a variety of bowls of cookie dough, and plastic Christmas cutters. Cups of hot chocolate overflowed with mounds of marshmallows. The room itself was filled with Christmas music and the aroma of fresh baked cookies.

During these very nostalgic moments, my door bell rang. I quickly wiped my hands on my apron and I rushed to answer it. As the light went on, I looked down, and to my surprise stood a small little boy. He was holding a flat white box.

The light revealed a worn coat and hat that wouldn’t have been warm enough on that cold, snowy night. As I opened the outer storm door, my eye caught a glimpse of an older model station wagon parked next to our street curb, with its lights dimmed and motor running.

We greeted each other, but before telling me his reason for being there he opened the lid of his box. Inside, on top of white tissue paper, laid neatly placed handmade clear plastic beaded ornaments. They were in the shape of Christmas wreaths. Each one had a red velvet ribbon tied at the bottom. Some were larger than others. Some were all green, while others were crystal clear. Each had a small price tag stuck on it. The smaller ones were $1, the medium were $3, and there was one in the middle. It was the largest and it was $5.

When the boy spoke, he told me that his mother had made each one, and they were selling them to make money to buy Christmas presents. He then pointed to the big one in the middle and said, “This one is the prettiest.”

I was flooded with mixed emotions. I wanted to pick him up and hug him. I wanted to invite him in for cookies and hot chocolate. But, I thought what I really needed to do at that very moment was to show respect that was due and treat his visit to my home as a normal business transaction. For all I knew, this may have been their only means of buying gifts that year.

I agreed to make a purchase. While leaving the door to get money, I noticed the boy turning back to look at the car. Perhaps it was a gesture to say a sale had been made.

Unfortunately, the only cash on hand was a $10 bill. I wanted to buy every one of the ornaments; however I knew a check wouldn’t do. Returning to the door, I made my selections very carefully to equal the money I had. To his delight, I included the prettiest one in the middle.

Each year as I put my tree up and place all my love ornaments, I proudly display the hand made beaded wreaths. I make sure the prettiest one from the middle has a special spot on the tree. All the while, I remember with tears the little boy at the door who came proudly to my home selling his mother’s very special ornaments. This little family brought the true gift of love to my home.

Creative Ideas for Christmas Cards

2010-12-01T10:28:00.003-05:00

History of Christmas Cards

Though wood engravers produced prints with religious themes in the European Middle Ages, the first commercial Christmas and New Year’s card was designed in London, England, in 1843. The picture on the front—a family with a small child drinking wine together—turned out to be controversial, but the idea stuck.

John Callcott Horsley (1817—1903), a British narrative painter and a Royal Academician, designed the first Christmas and New Year’s card at the suggestion and request of his friend Sir Henry Cole, who was the first director of the Victoria and Albert Museum. Horsley designed the first Christmas card in 1840, but it did not go on sale until 1843, when one thousand cards were offered for one shilling each. The Christmas
card became very popular, and other artists quickly followed Horsley’s concept.

Early English cards rarely showed winter or religious themes, favoring flowers, fairies, and other fanciful designs in honor of the approach of spring. Humorous and sentimental images of children and animals were popular, as well as increasingly elaborate shapes, decorations, and materials.

Louis Prang was the first printer to offer Christmas cards in America in 1875. The style and extravagance of the cards evolved throughout the twentieth century with changing printing techniques. Patriotic themes were popular during the world wars, and religious themes dominated starting with the 1950s.

The Christmas Card Today

Even though new technologies have caused a serious drop in the number of cards received by households, approximately 1.8 billion cards are sent annually.

Here are some ideas on to incorporate Christmas Cards into your family’s traditions:

The Christmas Letter

In recent years, some families have opted to include a Christmas letter updating friends on the events of the past year. You might choose one person or merge the contributions of all the family members. This is especially easy when done on the computer. Note: It’s best to produce a letter with genuine news—letters that sound like press releases touting family achievements can be tiresome.

The Christmas Photo Postcard

Christmas Idea: Some families have chosen to send a Christmas postcard containing a family photograph and printed greeting. This has become a very popular way of updating friends and family members who live far away with how the family is growing and maturing.

Christmas in January

You might want to consider sending your Christmas letter in January, a current trend. After the hustle and bustle of celebrating is over, there is much more time to thoughtfully create a mail-out of better quality and meaning. Also, there is more time for the recipient to read it at their leisure.

Christmas Card Tree

Create a Christmas card tree by using a hole-puncher to put a hole in the top left corner of the card through both front and back. Tie the card to the tree with a ribbon. You might also want to place a Christmas basket on the coffee table or kitchen counter in which to place cards as they arrive, giving family members a chance to look at them. Handmade, particularly beautiful, and sentimental Christmas cards can be easily maintained in an album with favorite cards from past years.

Excerpted from Everything Christmas by David Bordon and Thomas J. Winters. Copyright © 2010 by David Bordon and Thomas J. Winters. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

About the Authors
David Bordon and Tom Winters are partners in Bordon-Winters, LLC, a book concept and packaging company that produces successful books and gift products. Their previous titles include the 101 Things You Should Do series, especially the popular 101 Things You Should Do Before Going to Heaven.

Click here to purchase the book “Everything Christmas".

Practical Tips for Caregivers

2010-11-01T06:00:00.004-04:00

by Angela Pisel

Most women at one time in their life will be called upon to be a caregiver. Whether it is for a chronically ill child or an aging parent, here are some tips to help you keep the added responsibility in perspective.

· Remember that even Jesus rested. Prioritize time for yourself to rejuvenate. Consider “me” time a necessity, not a luxury.

· Ask God to reveal what He is trying to teach you through this situation. Thank God (whether you feel like it or not) for giving you the opportunity to be a servant to others.

· Think about the emotional and spiritual needs of the person you are helping. These needs, although often unspoken, are critical to the healing process.

· Don’t feel guilty about asking for help. No one can do this alone. Find one person you can vent to when the situation seems overwhelming.

· Care giving is for a season. Other responsibilities on your to-do list may need to slide.

· Go online and search for “resources for caregivers.” You will find links for valuable information on various topics such as governmental assistance and tips on ways to avoid burnout.

Angela Pisel is a freelance writer, speaker and Christian life coach who lives in Hickory, North Carolina. She is the author of the book “Praying for Your Kids Character – 31 Ways in 31 Days.” She and her husband, Greg are the proud parents of four children. She can be contacted at angelapisel@gmail.com.

Parenting from a Different Vantage Point

2010-11-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

By Doris M. Cush

I was home making cookies when our son asked, “Mom, who’s that girl?” “Oh honey, that’s the baby Jesus in a manger under the Christmas tree.” “Who’s she?” “What do you mean ‘she’?! You’re kidding, right?!” I mused. As I glanced at his clueless disposition awaiting my response, I clearly remained dumbfounded. Normally, this could have been an adorable moment, but since he only graced our threshold less than a month ago, I realized my husband and I were parenting from a different vantage point. Adopting an older child means being prepared for the unexpected. For us, the key lesson was learning how to confront our child’s past as we learned to define our future together as a family.

At four years old, our precious bundle of joy came to us with his hurts, hang-ups and habits. I’d be lying if I said we weren’t the least bit surprised. We were hoping for a longer “honeymoon” period. But for better or worse, we prayed through our son’s night terrors, public meltdowns, unwarranted outbursts and unexplainable insecurities. We were determined as a family to trust the Lord with our little boy’s fragile heart. We forged ahead flip-flopping parenting roles between “dastardly villain Mom” and “amazing superhero Dad.” In the process, God taught us how to turn dilemmas into precious, teachable moments.

With so many from which to choose, I can remember a particular event like it was yesterday. It was our son’s first city bus ride and I had planned every detail perfectly. We would go to the library for story time, have lunch downtown, walk to the old-fashioned candy store for a treat and take the bus home.

But ah, the best-laid plans of mice and men! By the time I realized the library wouldn’t be open for at least an hour, I was well into Plan B. After 20 minutes of browsing through a department store, I was sitting Indian styled on the floor protecting the head of a screaming banshee from doing bodily harm to himself all under the watchful eye of a city police officer. “Dear Lord, please help!” was my repetitious prayer.

Giving up on the outing, I finally tossed our son over my shoulder trekking four blocks to the bus stop and home sweet home. With each step, my agitated petitions were being answered. His flailing lessened and the reality of the morning’s events sank in as we boarded the bus. Fear had been talking and I had to look beyond the behavior to hear what it was telling my son.

“Sorry, mom,” he repeated through his tears. And my arms, which previously carried him down the street like a sack of potatoes now warmly embraced his worn-out frame. He buried his head in my arms and slept the rest of the way home. I quietly offered up prayers of thanksgiving.

Our son came with no instructions, but what child, adopted or not, does? And yet, the only true, how-to manual any parent has at their disposal is God’s word. As parents, we learn to “trust in the Lord with ALL our heart and lean not on our own understanding.” We learn to embrace our children through love, consistency and constancy. And if all else fails, we learn to stand, reaching out for support from loved ones and wise counsel from professional, Christian therapists.

Well, three months after baby Jesus was put away with the rest of the Christmas decorations, I got to experience another precious moment. While running errands, our son recited the entire resurrection story from the backseat of our minivan as we sat at the stoplight.

“Mom, guess what? See those crosses? That’s where Jesus and the two thieves were. One’s with him in heaven and Jesus isn’t there anymore!” “Him? He said,’ him’!” I had to hold back the tears when the light changed and our son resumed playing “smash ‘em up” with his action figures. That precious moment caught me marveling at God’s handiwork. And from this particular parenting vantage point forged from consistency and love, the view was quite spectacular!

Doris Cush provides true-life musings on her blog, Embrace His Truth (www.embracehistruth.blogspot.com). Infused with humor, encouragement and a bit of “real talk,” she loves bringing truth to life’s common misconceptions. Doris’ spare time involves more writing, ministry, teaching, crafting and songwriting detail with her husband, Dan. Their adoptive vantage point includes 11-year old, Jakji and a 4-year old Rhodesian Ridgeback-Beagle mix, Ginger.

Overcoming Anger

2010-11-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

by Jenny Smith

I sank slowly to the ground in my kitchen, right in the same spot, where the cabinets meet and form a v-shape. For some reason I’m drawn here every time. Maybe on some level the closeness of the cabinets feels like someone’s comforting arms. Not that anyone would comfort me if they knew what I had just done.

As tears poured down my face I feel so helpless, defeated and shameful. I’m in church weekly, a volunteer at the elementary school, and harboring a secret that if anyone knew would cause me to lose everything. Why can’t I get my anger under control? Why do I hurt my little ones, with my words and actions, over and over?

My secret was anger. The cycle was vicious. I would blow up, cry my eyes out in my corner and then get up acting like it never happened. Deep down I wanted to change, I did everything I knew to do. I prayed, I tried and I failed, over and over. At the time, I was teaching an adult class at church, we had started a study on the book of James. It was in that book where I discovered something that changed me.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 NIV).

I can still remember when I saw those words on the page, I started sweating and I felt like I might throw up. I wanted God to make my anger go away, but I would never consider telling anyone. What would they do? Who would they tell? How would people treat me?

My girls were young, Meghan was nine, Katie was six and Lauren was four. I knew what I was doing was marking their lives. ‘Confess your faults’ must have rolled around my head for days. One evening I was walking down the hall at church and I saw our Pastor’s wife. As I asked her if we could talk, I started stammering. I thought I was going to die! I really can’t remember exactly what I told her, but it was at that moment that I changed.

The power of a secret is huge! Once I pulled my secret out into the light, then God started showing me what steps I needed to take next to be healed. In my case, it was telling my husband. That was a painful conversation; he was so disappointed in me. Next, came getting down with the girls individually and telling them bluntly it was sinning when mom said/did that, and it was wrong. Would they forgive me?

Now my girls are seventeen, thirteen and eleven, and they still remember some of the bad times, but what they remember most is that mom changed. I’m not the same anymore, I have been healed!

If you are hanging on to a secret, I know that if you share it the power will be broken. Find someone you can trust and tell them. Nothing is more exciting than freedom!

Jenny’s passion is sharing both her struggles and successes with women to encourage them in their own walk with Jesus. Jenny and her husband Chad, reside in Adairsville, Georgia with their three girls, Meghan, Katie, and Lauren. You can visit Jenny’s website at www.keepinginstride.com for more resources.

Who Makes a Family?

2010-11-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By LeAnn Rice

Between the loss of my husband, Ron, and living on the opposite coast from my parents and in-laws, holidays felt mighty lonely. Empty chairs around the table, fewer stockings hung, and wrapping presents alone made me keenly aware of the smallness of my family of two. But letting people in is not easy for me. Loss and betrayal have resulted in protective walls around my heart. Big ones. Walls to keep me from being hurt again.

For years, I was so afraid of letting anyone in that I found myself completely alone with my sweet little boy who didn’t understand why our home wasn’t filled with family on special occasions and why there were so many empty chairs at our dinner table. I knew I desired our home to be filled with people, laughter and memories, but how could I make that happen?

I didn’t know, but God did. Over the years, God put little cracks in my walls and brought a handful of treasured friends to fill the empty chairs around our table and the voids in our lives.

~ Friends who fill in the gaps when I am unable to pick Nick up from school.

~ Friends who include us in family celebrations.

~ Friends who take care of home repairs that are beyond my capabilities.

~ Friends who let me be “Aunt LeLe” to their children.

~ Friends who notice that Nick needs a positive male role model in his life and someone to hit a tennis ball with.

~ Friends who help with the yard work in our overgrown forest of weeds and leaves.

~ Friends who notice that I don’t always fit in, so they find ways to fit me into their lives.

~ Friends who continue to eat my kitchen experiments no matter how many times I set
off the smoke alarm.

I may not have the life I imagined or hoped for, but it is my life and I am grateful for the blessings of family and friends who love Nick and me and fill in some of the empty spaces in our hearts.

I have to be honest though…I miss the holidays I used to have. Yes, I feel loved when my new “family” gathers for a big Thanksgiving dinner or a Christmas celebration. But, they have families of their own: parents, siblings, or in-laws to visit on Christmas, so our celebration takes place on a different day. Christmas morning comes around and it is still just Nick and me sitting by the tree. Well… except for that spoiled rotten cat of ours.

If you find yourself in the same situation here are a few ideas that I hope will help get you through the holidays:

• Find a family or organization that needs something you can offer. It may be bringing ingredients for Thanksgiving dinner to a family that can’t afford a turkey and fixings. Maybe a family needs help purchasing and wrapping presents for their children who would otherwise have no gifts under their Christmas tree. Collect warm coats, blankets and socks for a homeless shelter. Help a shut-in write and send Christmas cards to friends and family. Simply find a need (and there is always a need) that you are gifted and have a heart for, and fill it.

• See if there are others who will be alone on a holiday and celebrate together. Prepare and serve a “family” meal or have everyone bring a dish to share. Maybe include a silly game to keep the mood lively.

• Volunteer to serve a holiday meal at a local soup kitchen.

I have found that doing for others makes me feel so much better. It takes the focus off of me, and I am blessed to be a blessing to someone else.

Maybe your situation is different. Maybe your home will be filled with family and friends this holiday season. Do you know someone who will be alone? Consider opening your home and heart to include them in your celebration. But please do not be offended if they say “no.” Sometimes it is actually harder to be a part of someone else’s celebration because it brings back memories of what you once had. But, even when I say “no,” it means so much to have been invited…to feel like I matter to someone.

Whether you are alone this holiday season, or you have a house brimming with family, I pray that God reveals Himself to you in a very real and tangible way. May He be all that you need. May He fill every empty space. May He draw you nearer to His heart.

Sweet Blessings,
LeAnn

LeAnn Rice is the Executive Director of Proverbs 31 Ministries. She lives with her 17-year-old son, Nick, and their ornery cat, Angel, in a small town just outside of Charlotte, NC. LeAnn shares hope and inspiration on her site www.AWidowsMight.org and recipes, grace, and southern hospitality on www.SheCooks.org.

Organizing Your Clothes Closet

2010-10-01T06:00:00.005-04:00

by Eileen Koff

Are you playing Russian roulette when you open your closets; afraid of what might come crashing down? Taking back your clothes closet is easier than you thought if you adapt simple strategies and techniques. Here are my top tips that will have you singing instead of moaning when you enter the dark and mysterious space that was once your closet.

Tips for Making the Most of Your Closet

• Start with a bright light. How can you see anything in the dark recesses of your closet unless you shed a little light on the subject? Have no room for a light fixture or hanging bulb. No problem! There are ingenious stick-um up lights sold online or at your local hardware store, and while you’re there, check out the new true–color light bulbs now on the market.

• Create more hanging space. If you’re clothes are crammed together like a can of sardines, the best approach is to get more hanging space. No, you don’t have to bump your son out of his room and make that your closet; all you need is a double hanging rod. Hanging rods that hook over existing rails are a smart, inexpensive, and an instant way to create extra room for short hanging clothes.

• Consider an over-the-door organizer. If you have a small closet, take advantage of the space on the back of the door. There are a lot of “over-the-door” organizers that can help you maximize storage space.

• Use a valet rod. When designing my own closet, adding a valet rod was the best decision I made. A clothing valet is a sturdy telescoping rod that can be installed into existing melamine or closet partitions. The valet slides out to create an instant nine inches of hanging space and can hold up to 30 pounds. I love putting my clothes choices together for the next day. This helps me to not only save time in the morning, but it allows me to see the many choices I have. Basically, it releases my inner fashionista.

• Replace wire hangers. Count the number of wire hangers in your closet. If you have more than 10, then you win the frugal award. You may say, “They’re free, so why do I have to pay for expensive hangers?” There's a good reason wire hangers are free: they're basically worthless. If you want to prolong the life of your clothes, keep them on wood, padded or felt covered hangers. Your clothes will thank you by maintaining their shape.

• Add hooks to your closet. Hooks for your scarves and belts are another organizing wonder for the closet. Until I installed my belt hook, my belts and scarves invariably got tangled or lost on the floor. Remember these also work great for ties. The 3M Company has a great product called Command Hooks. No longer do you have to worry about holes and scratches your walls. These hooks come in all sizes, finishes and when you no longer need the hook, they easily remove without leaving a scratch!

What to Do With All Those Clothes

• Sort your clothes into piles. Start with broad categories at first so you can see the amount of clothes you have for any one category. Some categories may be: work, casual, dressy and sporty.

• Identify what to keep. Try on everything and keep only the clothes that fit you now and make you feel good! If it doesn’t fit or you don’t feel excellent in it, get rid of it!

• Watch out for the “obstacle illusion.” Don’t let the mere fact that you paid a lot guilt you into keeping something. Your closet is prime real estate.

• Donate clothes you don’t wear. The next time you're putting away laundry or dry cleaning, grab an armful of clothes that you haven't worn since you can't remember when and try them on in front of a full-length mirror. Putting on just a limited amount of clothes keeps your wardrobe current and in style. Put the ones that you love back into circulation; donate the rest.

• Hang your clothes by type and then by color. For example, hang all of your short sleeve shirts or blouses together starting with white and moving through the colors of the rainbow to black. If the fabric is patterned then choose the dominant color. Do the same for your jackets, pants, skirts and dresses. It makes it so much easier to put an outfit together when you are able to quickly mix and match colors.

• Care for your sweaters. If you have sweaters that sit folded on shelves, make sure you cover wire shelves with a liner. It can be very frustrating to put on your favorite sweater and them look in the mirror and see wire shelf creases throughout.

• Keep a hamper nearby for clothes that need laundering or dry cleaning.

Eileen Koff is the founder and president of To The Next Level, a professional organizing business based on Long Island, NY. Eileen presently serves NAPO (National Association for Professional Organizers) as Publication Chair and is also Faithful Organizer’s Devotion Director. Eileen’s passion is speaking to Christian groups. Her unique teaching methods combine proven organization fundamentals with the inspiration and advice from God’s Word. Eileen’s organizing workshops stir audiences to immediate action, motivating attendees to put an end to years of frustration and clutter build-up.

For further information contact her at www.tothenextlevel.net or www.christianorganizer.net

Cast Your Cares Upon Him

2010-10-01T06:00:00.004-04:00

By Micca Campbell

My oldest son Mitch, and his friend, Jamie, had spent the afternoon at our house watching movies up until it was time for Mitch to go to work. It wasn’t ten minutes after they left the house that the phone rang.

“Mom, I just wrecked my car. I’m okay, but Jamie is hurt. We’re just down the road from the house. Can you come?”

Can I come? What kind of question is that? I was already sitting in my car after he said the word “wrecked.” I just needed to know what direction to turn out of my driveway.

It’s one thing to hear that your child has been in a car accident, but it’s another to witness the scene. The first thing I saw was his car upside down and smashed between two trees like a pancake. An ambulance and fire truck were already at the site. Cars lined the road and people came out of their homes to view the accident. Once my mind absorbed the scene, I realized Mitch and his friend were nowhere in sight.

“WHERE ARE THEY?” I began to shout as I turned in a circle scoping the area for any sign of them. A paramedic took me by the arm and led me toward the ambulance. I felt my body go numb from fear of what I might find inside.

The first person I saw was Mitch. Our eyes met, and without exchanging words, I could tell he was scared, but okay. Jamie, on the other hand, was strapped to a straight board with her back, neck and head secured. Tears of concern filled my eyes.

“Jamie’s hurt bad,” Mitch said as if I could fix it. At that moment, if I couldn’t fix it, I was sure going to find someone who could. I bent down close to Jamie and took her hand in mine. “I’m here, Sweetie. It’s going to be okay,” I said trying to reassure us both. However, my motherly authority took over when Jamie shared her needs with me. I tried to relay them to the paramedic as calmly as I could.

“I can’t breathe,” Jamie whispered.

“SHE CAN’T BREATHE!” I shouted to the paramedic.

“I’m in pain,” she begged.

“SHE’S IN PAIN!” I demanded. Suddenly, I felt as if I needed to lie down on the other side of the ambulance from the adrenaline rush surging through my body. Fortunately, we all survived the incident and arrived safely at the hospital. Mitch only received a few bumps and bruises. Jamie dislocated a few ribs, but after several weeks she, too, was as good as new.

My son may not have been thinking about me before the accident occurred, but immediately afterward, he knew who he needed. That’s because children are bonded to their parents by a love relationship that they don’t often think about, and really aren’t even aware of. Yet, in times of trouble, worry or fear the child appreciates and reaches for that union. The same is true of our relationship with God. We should be eager to “cast our cares on Him because He cares for us” (1 Peter 5:7).

I often take for granted the awesome privilege of being God’s child. As His child, I have the privilege of casting my worries on the Lord with strong confidence that He cares for me. Worry is unnecessary when our God is able and willing to bear our burdens.

When you and I worry, we are denying the wisdom, love and provision of God. Like my son, I should be quick to call out to my heavenly Father for help. I need to run to God for comfort and reassurance instead of worrying myself sick. Often I do the opposite. I try to be the adult instead of the child. I truly want to do better. I want to be so aware of God’s abiding presence in my life that I fall asleep in His arms at night and awake to His presence in the morning.

When everything had settled after the accident, Mitch could no longer contain his worry and fear. Burying his head in my chest, he burst into tears. It was his way of releasing his anxieties and casting them on me. Because I love my son, I gladly supported him in the midst of his pain. Wrapping my arms around Mitch, I reassured him he was safe.

In the same way, our fears and worries should drive us into the safety of God’s arms. Those who trust in Him have tremendous security. We find support in God’s presence when we cast our cares on Him. No worry is too big for our Father to shoulder. Because of His great love for us, He gladly takes away our fears and quiets our hearts with peace. “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you” (Isaiah 26:3). The Lord picks us up out of our wrecked lives while we are still scared and afraid and He comforts us. It’s in God’s loving care that our spirit is renewed and we know for certain there is no safer place on earth.

Micca Campbell knows the unpredictable nature of life. As the twenty-one year old mother of an infant son, her world was shattered when she lost her husband in a tragic accident. Yet in her darkest moment, God began teaching her His remedy for our deepest fears. Let Micca encourage you to lay down your worries, trust God, and embrace a life marked by peace and joy. Micca is also a national speaker with Proverbs 31 Ministries and writes regularly for their on-line devotions, Encouragement for Today. In 2004, she was named ‘Mother of the Year’ by ParentLife Magazine. Micca and her family reside in Nashville, TN.

Click here to purchase Micca's book, "An Untroubled Heart: Finding Faith that is Stronger than My Fears".

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

2010-10-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Breast cancer is a fight we can win together. This month, show your support for those currently battling cancer and those who have survived it, by getting involved in an event near you. You can find information on these and other reputable sites:
Please create links for these

American Cancer Society www.cancer.org and www.relayforlife.org

Susan G. Komen for the Cure www.Komen.org and www.the3day.org

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month www.NBCAM.org

Not Another Migraine!

2010-09-08T08:07:00.001-04:00

by Lisa Morrone, PT

You feel it coming on—Oh please, not today… (As if any day was a good day to have a migraine!) Sadly you resign yourself to the inevitability of this fast approaching “pain storm” by making a mental list of all the things you won’t be getting done in the next day or so. And then you hunker down and brace for its impact.

Thirty-three million Americans suffer from migraines on a regular basis. Most who’ve endured head pain for years find their only “help” comes from within their medicine cabinets. Over-the-counter and prescription medication is the traditional band-aid offered to migraineurs. These chemicals work primarily by reducing symptoms (pain, nausea, and vomiting), and at times they can even be successful at diverting a full-blown migraine attack. But here is where I take issue with this time-honored treatment approach: It doesn’t lend itself to curing migraines, it merely assists in manages them!

Not only does medication not offer a cure, it also can be part of the problem! When a person regularly takes medication to keep their head pain under control—whether it is over-the counter-medication, like Excedrin or Tylenol, or doctor-prescribed meds such as Cafergot or Imitrex—their brain actually gets used to the steady diet of those brain-altering chemicals. In fact it can become downright addicted to them! So what does an addicted brain do when its chemical supply is running low? It does what it knows will get it some more chemicals—it produces another headache. Very clever, huh?!

Migraine sufferers have been shown to have a lower headache “threshold” than people who do not suffer with this condition. Research has proven that their brains are actually more sensitive to the environment around them, and to their own body’s chemical and mechanical problems. A migraine threshold (starting point) is reached by the piling up of numerous annoyances known as headache triggers. When a migraineur’s “stack” of irritants reaches their threshold point, head pain begins.

Many who struggle with migraines have been told to avoid particular foods which have a track record of triggering head pain. The most common culprits are red wine, chocolate, aged cheeses or meats, foods high in nitrates (bacon, hot dogs, certain lunch meats), and MSG-laden items such as Chinese food, canned soups, frozen meals. And while it’s true that food can trigger migraines, so can: stress, loss of sleep, noxious smells and sounds, and flashing lights. With countless articles and books being written on the subject of migraine triggers, few discuss the trigger which I believe is first one (and usually the last) that needs addressing: the neck.

As a physical therapist I have been treating patients with head pain for over two decades now, and the most influential trigger that I have found in my patients who experience migraines is upper neck dysfunction. Muscle spasms, joint restrictions, and disc bulging plays a critical role in producing head pain—especially in those who report neck pain/tension prior to the onset of their migraine. In my own clinical practice, I have had tremendous success without having to modify the diet, environment, or lifestyles of my patients because after I remove the much bigger issue—their neck dysfunction—all those other triggers that used to be a problem for my patients no longer stack high enough to produce a migraine (monthly hormone cycles included). In twenty years I’ve only had one patient whose migraines were not cured altogether with a manual (hands-on) physical therapy treatment approach.

In my book, Overcoming Headaches and Migraines, I outline a non-traditional, non-medicinal approach to curing chronic head pain, namely by addressing the neck component, or trigger. I provide self-treatment methods as well as description of specific manual therapy treatment techniques that need to be employed in order to free migraine sufferers from a life of pain and medication. You’ll read story after story from patients who have been released from their head pain sentences and are now able to live a life free from head pain. Isn’t it time you took a detour away from traditional head pain management, and instead start moving toward a cure?

Lisa Morrone, PT is passionate about three things: her Savior, her family, and her calling, "To equip the Body of Christ to age well, live long, and serve strong!" A physical therapist, professor, author, and speaker, Lisa began her company, Restoring Your Temple® in 2006 as an avenue to educate, heal, and empower the Church to do the work of Christ. Lisa is the author of three books including her latest, Overcoming Overeating: It's Not What You Eat, It's What's Eating You! She has been featured on the 700 Club, multiple national and international radio broadcasts, and the Proverbs 31 magazine. Visit her website: www.RestoringYourTemple.com.

Lisa’s book, Overcoming Headaches and Migraines: Clinically Proven Cure For Chronic Pain is available here.

Extend a Hand of Wholeness: Post-Abortion Healing

2010-08-31T13:52:00.000-04:00

By Tracy Nunes

In the article, “Extend a Hand of Wholeness” we took some baby steps into understanding the issue of post abortion healing and why it should matter to the body of Christ. Let’s take that a bit further and talk about the “How.”

Our Words: Be aware of words like “killer,” and “murderer,” when referring to abortion. While we can’t step away from calling it the sin that it is, we need to remember that even as the baby rests in Heaven with Jesus the mother suffers still. Use words like forgiveness, healing and reconciliation when talking about it. You may never know how you will minister to a woman’s heart though unaware of it. Encourage your church to start post abortion healing groups and share this information with your pastor and congregation. You don’t have to be post abortive to start a ministry like this.

Post Abortion Help: If you are a woman who has had an abortion recently or in the distant past, there are a multitude of resources for you. The article may have stirred your feelings and that can be frightening. Don’t bury those feelings. Run to Jesus. You may feel that silent suffering will make it go away, but what is buried will still find ways to rear its ugly head. Seek out post abortion Bible studies, recovery groups or a Christian counselor who specializes in this area. Most of all…know that your abortion will not separate you from the love of God, but running away will limit your opportunities to be whole again. Remember, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

Internet and Print Resources for Healing:
• Ramah International: www.ramahinternational.com
• The Comforted: www.thecomforted.blogspot.com
• Her Choice to Heal by Sydna Masse
• Forgiven and Set Free by Linda Cochrane

Tracy lives in Hawaii with Richard, her husband of 25 years. She has two grown daughters, one grandson and works with Hawaii Right to Life to promote awareness of post abortion issues. Visit Tracy’s Post-Abortion Healing blog The Comforted: http://thecomforted.blogspot.com. She also has a blog where she writes about all of the ways that God has taken the mess of her life and made it into something for His Glory: http://tracynunes.blogspot.com.

Turn Your Girlfriends into Sisters

2010-08-31T13:50:00.001-04:00

By Sallie Hagen

“I thank God every day for this group. I’ve never seen women share so openly and honestly.”
“I’ve prayed to be part of something just like this.”
“My husband jokes that we’re the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, but he knows this group is good for me.”
These comments aren’t from my church’s women’s ministry or small group, they are from the ladies in my online group!

Have you ever wished you could be part of a small group of women that know everything about you, but love you anyway? We’ve all heard that small groups are where lasting relationships are formed, but how can we reap the benefits of a tight-knit small group when our hectic schedules won’t allow it?

Organizing and leading an online small group is easier than you think, and it will fit right into any busy schedule, since most of the group communication is via private e-mail.
One year ago, I tried to organize a small group of friends to work through a women’s devotional. Although I had no trouble finding friends who wanted to do the book together, we ran into trouble trying to pick a day and time to meet that would work for everyone.

Feeling led to move forward anyway, I came up with a plan to organize our group online, using a private e-mail group through Yahoo. Some were skeptical whether it would work, but it didn’t take long for us to figure out that we had struck gold. Originally, there were six of us who knew each other only superficially, but by working through a 90-day devotional together, we were quickly able to establish trust and share our real struggles and hopes with one another.

Now, one year later, we have grown to 10 members and are working through our third devotional. We are sisters. We share everything. We lift up each other’s prayers, and cry and laugh together through life’s trials and joys. We have managed to get together once a quarter or so, but the majority of our communication is through e-mail posts to the group. In effect, we talk, share and pray together many times during any given week, rather than just once like a traditional small group.

Do you have a close sisterhood of friends that you can trust through life’s ups and downs? Has your busy schedule kept you from joining a small group at church? Here are some tips to start your own online Christian women’s small group:

• Keep the group small, with no more than 6 to 10 women. This is not to be exclusive, but the quantity of e-mails might get cumbersome and you don’t want anyone intimidated by sharing with too many people.

• Establish ground rules. For example, my group routinely shares sensitive personal information so we have a privacy policy. Sharing others’ personal concerns with others outside the group is prohibited, with the occasional exception of husbands.

• Choose a scripturally sound book or devotional to study together. Consider common interests that your group may have. Choose a start date and project an end date so everyone knows what the initial commitment will be.

• To allow for flexibility, consider working through daily devotionals on weekdays and allowing weekends for catch-up.

• As leader, be willing to spark the discussion whenever the conversation lags.

• Be real. Share your testimony and encourage others to share theirs. The earlier you do this, the quicker the communication barriers come down.

• Ask everyone to share prayer requests on a periodic basis. Compile them in a private document and distribute them to the group to pray over during your individual quiet time with God.
• As leader, avoid monopolizing the conversation and put others’ needs first.

• When delicate or painful issues arise, tread lightly and come alongside with prayer and gentle wisdom.

• Plan a periodic outing together to solidify and strengthen relationships even more.

• If you’ve been wishing your girlfriend relationships could get past superficial chatter and delve into deep and meaningful topics, I hope you’ll feel led to take the first step yourself and start an online small group that will turn your girlfriends into sisters.

Sallie Hagen is a retired CPA turned full-time homeschool mom. She serves as club director for a Keepers of the Faith group, teaches literature and writing in a homeschool co-op, and leads an online Bible study group for women striving to be Proverbs 31. She and her husband John have 6 children, ages 12 to 24. Learn more at www.mypatchworklife.com.

Overcoming Perfectionism

2010-08-31T13:44:00.004-04:00

by Rachel Olsen

Do you feel most of what you do is never quite good enough?
Do you avoid starting tasks for worry you’ll fail?
Do you think “average” is an ugly word?

If so, rather than working toward success, you are probably trying to be flawless from start to finish. It’s likely you are plagued by perfectionism.

I know; I’ve been there.

Perfectionism refers to a set of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors aimed at reaching excessively high or unrealistic goals. Mistakenly believed necessary for success, perfectionism is often detrimental. It can rob us of a sense of personal satisfaction or achievement, damage our relationships, and prevent us from reaching our potential.

In fact, research shows women who demand perfection from themselves often achieve less than women with more realistic strivings. Surprised?

Causes of Perfectionism

A number of negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs can drive our perfectionistic tendencies:

• Fear of failure. Perfectionists often equate failure to achieve with a lack of personal worth or value. (God tells us we have value because we are made by Him, in His image, for His plans and pleasure.)

• Fear of making mistakes. Perfectionists often equate mistakes with failure – and therefore, with a lack of personal worth. In orienting their lives around avoiding mistakes, perfectionists miss opportunities to learn and grow.

• Fear of disapproval. Perfectionists often believe if they let others see their flaws, they will no longer be accepted. Trying to be perfect is a way of trying to avoid criticism, disapproval, and rejection. (Christ was criticized, disapproved of, and rejected – and He was truly perfect.)

• All-or-none thinking. Perfectionists frequently believe they are failures if their accomplishments are not perfect from start to finish. Every part must be flawless. They deny the learning curve and discount the process of “failing forward.”

• Belief that others are easily successful. Perfectionists tend to perceive others as achieving success with a minimum of effort, few or no errors, little emotional stress, and maximum self-confidence. This of course is inaccurate. At the same time, perfectionists view their own efforts and confidence as uncommonly inadequate.

A Harmful Cycle

Perfectionistic attitudes start a frustrating cycle in motion. First, perfectionists set unreachable goals based on unrealistic expectations. Second, they fail to meet their often well-out-of-reach goals. Third, they become anxious and self-critical over their failure. Finally, rather than realizing the true problem, they demand a perfect performance next time or avoid the pursuit entirely.

Also, without realizing it, perfectionists can apply their unrealistically high standards to others, becoming critical and demanding. Their frequent lack of grace damages their relationships. Furthermore, perfectionists may avoid letting people see their mistakes, not realizing that self-disclosure allows others to perceive them as more human and thus more likeable. Because of this, perfectionists often have difficulty being close to people and they create unsatisfying relationships – which only confirms in their mind their lack of value or their need to strive harder.

What to do About Perfectionism

The first step in moving from a performance-based attitude of perfectionism to a grace-based attitude of healthy striving and dependence on Christ is to realize that perfection, instantly or in everything, is simply unattainable. And the pursuit of it is counterproductive.

The next step is to challenge the self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that fuel your perfectionism. Some of the following strategies - many outlined by the counseling center at the University of Illinois - may help:

• Set realistic, reachable goals based on what you have accomplished in the past. This will enable you to rein in unrealistic expectations and experience the satisfaction of achievement.

• Set subsequent goals in a sequential manner. As you reach a goal, set your next goal one step beyond your present level of accomplishment.

• Relax your standards for success. Choose any activity and instead of aiming for 100 percent, try for 90 percent, 80 percent, or even 70 percent success. This will help you to realize that the world does not end when you are less than perfect.

• Learn to discriminate the tasks you want to give high priority to from those tasks that are less important to you. On less important tasks, choose to put forth less effort in favor of increased rest and emotional stability.

• Focus on the process of doing an activity, not just on the end result. Evaluate your success not only in terms of what you accomplished but also in terms of how you accomplished it. Did you remain calm? Did you learn something new along the way? Did you enjoy the process?

• Use feelings of anxiety and depression as opportunities to ask yourself, “Have I set impossible expectations for myself in this situation?”

• Confront the fears that may be behind your perfectionism by asking yourself, “What am I afraid of? What is the worst thing that could happen?”

• Recall a recent mistake you made and list all the things you can learn from it. Mistakes are powerful learning tools.

• Pray daily, giving your stresses and to-do list to Christ to oversee. Remember that His priority is your character and relationships over your accomplishments.

As perfectionists, we’ve come to believe our value – in God’s or other people’s eyes – is irrevocably linked to our performance. In a quest to be accepted and loved, we set out to be flawless. This is both unnecessary and unproductive.

So pull out a sheet of paper and write out in your own words the reasons why your perfection is unnecessary and unproductive. Don’t worry if it is well-worded or commas are in the right place. And in the process, you’ll begin to overcome the plague of perfectionism.

Rachel Olsen is a woman who seeks to savor life with Christ and help others find that sweet spot as well. A writer, speaker and editor with Proverbs 31 Ministries, Rachel communicates biblical truths modern women need to know. To learn more, read her recent release “It’s No Secret: Revealing Divine Truths Every Woman Should Know.”

Tips for Preparing Your Child for Challenges

2010-08-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

By Glynnis Whitwer

The promise of a new school year burns bright this time of year. Crisp white paper and sharpened pencils are at the ready, as excited children (and moms) fill clean, new backpacks with supplies. Back-to-school shopping has restocked the closets with shoes that fit, jeans that are long enough and jackets to replace the ones that were left on the playground in March.

By the first day of school, parents will have prepared their children well. But, have they thought of everything? Have parents prepared their children to deal with the anxiety of change, the fear of harder tests and the possible bullying from a new classmate?

Sadly, most of us don’t know how to prepare our children for the emotional challenges of school. We tend to find out about issues when they have escalated into problems. This year, I’d like to share a few tips for preparing children to deal with some of the most common problems they might face in the coming months.

Stress

People get stressed when pressures accumulate faster than our ability to adapt, last longer than our ability to maintain control, or our internal makeup is unable to deal with problems. Given that children have very little control over their circumstances, they are at a great risk of facing stress. Here are a few things parents can do:
· Create a stress-free environment at home. Establishing calming routines in the mornings, afternoons and evenings give your children a chance to regroup.
· Limit extra-curricular activities for all family members. Parents can model healthy activity loads when children are very young. Lots of time at home enables you to finish homework, study for test and work on projects without stress.
· Honor the Sabbath. This is difficult for most families, but it was God’s design for a day of well-needed rest. Try and build in a day where everyone is free to celebrate life together.

Fear

Many children will deal with fear at school. Fear often manifests itself with physical symptoms before your child will be able to communicate his emotions. Be attuned to slight hesitancy, upset stomachs or difficulty sleeping. What you can do:
· Establish a culture of openness at home. Always take your child’s fear seriously and investigate a concern. Your child will grow to trust that you will take her seriously.
· Desensitize your child. If your child is naturally hesitant and fearful, introduce new situations gradually. If the start of school is fearful, then practice walking to school the week before. Talk through possible situations. If you’ve never be separated before, then have some practice runs where you leave your child at a friend’s house for a short time and then return.
· Have an action plan. Play the “What If?” game. What if mom isn’t there to pick you up? What if you forget your lunch? What if you get picked on at recess? Talk though the potentially fearful situations and have a plan.

Bullying
Sadly, bullies are a part of life. Statistics say that up to 90% of schoolchildren will be bullied. Unfortunately, shame and a code of silence often keeps parents from knowing about it until it’s too late. Thankfully, there are things you can do to bully-proof your child.
· Don’t over-protect. Teach your children early on to deal with problems themselves. Children who run to adults over every small problem tend to be bullied more than children who are calmly assertive in meeting their own needs.
· Invest in your children’s friendships. Good friends are protection against bullies. Make an effort to invite other children to your home, or to join your family on outings. Create situations where your child can interact with others and develop good friendships.
· Teach your children to stand up for others. This might be controversial to you, but children need to know their parents would support them if they had to defend someone. We need to raise a generation who will defend the weak. It’s called moral courage and we need more young men and women who won’t tolerate injustice. That means getting involved and not walking away when someone is getting bullied. Another mom will thank you for it.

Problems are a part of life. We will always have them. Perhaps one of the best gifts we can give our children is to equip them with practical ways to deal with the everyday issues of life. I believe they’ll thank you for it when they’ve become adults who persevere through pain, and come out victorious.

Glynnis has written a book on this subject titled “When Your Child is Hurting.” In the book, she explores these three topics, plus 11 other common, everyday issues children face. Each chapter contains Scripture verses, inspiring quotes and discussion questions to be used in a small group setting or individually. It’s filled with practical parenting tips and encouraging stories. Click here to purchase or read more.

Christ-Like in the Bleachers

2010-08-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By Sara Jo Poff

The roar of the parents’ voices filled the gym. Admittedly, the game was getting tense, but the situation was worsening. It was the last quarter and the teams were tied for the championship. Parents were beginning to scream over the sound of the coach and the kids on the basketball court were becoming confused. When I loudly but politely asked the parents to calm down, the roar quickly shifted to whispers. One mom, however, turned to me excitedly and said, “Sorry; it’s just that we’ve never won a championship!” The coaches looked grateful for the silence and the elementary players no longer tripped over their own feet in perplexity.

Currently, 41 million children in the U.S. participate in team sports. Sadly, 70 percent of them will drop out before turning 13. Sadder even still is the reason they drop out: parental pressure. According to a Michigan State Youth Institute survey, the majority of these 28.7 million children cited “adults, particularly parents” as their reason for dropping out and the main reason for the game becoming a “joyless, negative experience.” According to these numbers, seven out of ten children on your child’s team are feeling an overload of pressure to play. Consider the following plays to make sure your child isn’t one of them:

Examine Your Intentions

Whether it’s for the chance of becoming pro or the opportunity to learn good sports skills and conduct, parents are doing everything they can to put their children in extracurricular activities, and for good reason. Team sports are respectable opportunities for children to learn things like competition, new skills, good sportsmanship, and parental encouragement. Many of these children, at least at first, are having FUN! It’s only when the interest of winning supersedes these goals that the pressure starts emerging. In some cases, parents live vicariously through their child and develop an over-identified zeal for the game.

In response to the growing number of incidences of abusive behavior from parents towards coaches, athletes, and officials, many organizations offer training programs for parents on good sportsmanship. One of these organizations, the American Youth Soccer Organization, requires parents of players younger than 8 years old to participate in sportsmanship and behavioral conduct classes. Others, like the Michigan High School Athletic Association, have put together a video for parents on appropriate behavior at sporting events that can be viewed at www.mhsaa.com/services.

Rewind and Replay

It is important to take a good look at which kind of sideline parent we are, especially as Christians. Whether our children are in sports or not, it is crucial for them to feel unconditionally loved, emotionally supported, and encouraged to pursue their interests.

In order to provide the encouragement and support children need, parents must first get back to the main reasons for putting them in sports. Foremost, focus on skill building, good sportsmanship, and physical movement.

Secondly, trust your child’s coach to do the coaching. This doesn’t, of course, mean you should have a naïve sense of faith in the coach, because they’re parents just like us. But, if you haven’t observed any verbal, emotional, or especially physical abuse from them and see the coach teaching good skills to the children, let them give the directions at games. All too often, children have voices hollering at them from so many directions that they are unable to hear their coach or know who to listen to. Be “quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19 NIV)

At the same time, make sure your child can hear encouragement from you during the game. “Good pass,” “nice shot,” or “you’ll get it next time” are good things for them to hear and aren’t distracting. Try to avoid comments like “nice try” or “almost.” [Parents], do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart.” (Colossians 3:23 NASB)

Just as parents make mistakes, so, too, do officials. Instead of making sure these mistakes are corrected, think of it this way: it all evens out by the end of the season! If a foul wasn’t called and you know that your child was fouled (or even another child for that matter), don’t holler at the referee. Later on, a foul might be called for a clearly invalid foul. Use it as an opportunity to exemplify God’s commands to respect the authorities He has placed over you.

After holding back all “suggestions” during the game, don’t spend the car ride home telling your child how they could have done something differently. That behavior once again instills a winning-is-the-most-important-thing mentality. Tell them what they did well, and make sure they know that they have your support and encouragement no matter how they played.

Reach the Goal

If your child suddenly announces a decision to no longer play a particular sport, especially one they have greatly enjoyed in the past, gently inquire their reasons. Be supportive of those reasons and encourage them in other areas. Letting a child retire from a particular sport will not, as some parents think, turn them into “dropouts” or “quitters.” As long as that free time isn’t replaced with video games or television, your child can benefit immensely from making their own choices about things such as this.

If your child has other things they are not allowed to falter on, such as God’s commands, academics, and parental rules, they will know the importance of devotion and perseverance for the things that matter most in life.

The qualities that teach children good sportsmanship start at home, not on the field. Make sure your family strongly promotes good sports conduct in everything at home, from board games to yard games.

Use these ideas to help your children enjoy participation in sports. Get excited about opportunities to play. Treat them to ice cream after games no matter how well they played. and encourage good effort and self-reliance in their participation. Most importantly, make sure sports maintain their position as a hobby so they don’t turn into idols.

Sara Jo Poff, her husband Pete, and their five kids, enjoy playing basketball together from their home in Claremore, Oklahoma. As a freelance writer, Sara Jo specializes on topics related to natural family health, home education, and living for Christ. You can visit her at
www.healthyfamiliesforGod.com.

Healing in Hurting Times

2010-07-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

by Tamela Ward

The unemployment rate is at a 25-year high, hovering at 9.5%. Everyone knows someone that is touched by these difficult times. What happens when it hits your home? Who do you put your faith in? How do you support your family?

In my home, it hit my husband, David, before the recession. It was exactly 18 years from the date he began his career with a Fortune 500 shipping company, which happened to be his 37th birthday. It was also my first day back at work after having our third miracle child born three months prior. Little did I know that when I took that call from my husband, our lives would change forever.

Chills still run through my body when I recall his words, “I’m headed home. They just let me go.” My immediate response, “I’ll meet you at the house.” Thankfully, God gave me wisdom to say little and listen a lot. I knew God would see us through this change. We stood in the kitchen of our home bewildered with the shocking news. Questions raced through our minds like cars around a NASCAR track: How long could we make it financially? How will we explain to our friends and family? Who do we tell first?

During this difficult time, God gave me several things to do that have ended up being lifelong strategies for drawing closer.

Daily devotion – “Experiencing God Day by Day” by Henry T. and Richard Blackaby ministered to us, and is now a gift my husband gives to others in times of need. The tattered and unglued book is a treasured reminder of how God spoke to us and carried us through this time.
Words of encouragement –My aunt and I were attending a Christian women’s conference and in the slide show, the message “David, Trust in me. I am in control” caught my eye. Strangely, my aunt doesn’t recall seeing it at all. That’s because God cared enough to speak to me personally that day. Immediately, I knew those words were for me to share with my husband. Daily these words remind us that God is in control and that “nothing pleases God without faith.”
Praise – Find a prayer closet for praise. Turn on your local Christian radio station. God will send songs your way that minister to your needs. Find a quiet place where you can sing at the top of your lungs. My treadmill is often a refuge where I sing praises and release stress. My family knows I don’t want to be disturbed when the door is shut. All they can hear is the hum of the treadmill and the wailing of my seemingly a cappella tunes.
Church – Attend church. Emotions can be so raw that you dread the thought of attending church and telling your story repeatedly to friends. Don’t let Satan use that to overwhelm you. Let the love and concern of your church family heal your wounds.
Tithe –If you are a two income family, Satan will try to convince you that you need every penny. He is the master deceiver. Tithing is one of the best gifts you can give during difficult times. Tithe on whatever is coming your way and you will be blessed. You can’t out give God.
Focus – Keep your eyes on Jesus. There will be times that you feel so alone. You are not alone. God will never leave you nor forsake you. Your hopes will brighten when you think you have found the perfect new job, and suddenly the emotional roller coaster plummets you to the darkness of rejection. Know that God has a plan – the perfect plan for His will.

Find Comfort in Scripture

Scriptures float throughout my belongings and are saved to my desktop; scriptures that I repeat to myself and to my husband. Insert your loved one’s name into the scripture to remind them that our God is personal. Over and over His Word was and still is like healing salve to our hurts. There will be times that you feel at such a loss for what to do. Pull out the scriptures and read them. Feed yourself and your family extra doses of spiritual food. There is nothing more nourishing than the richness of His Word. Here are two of my favorites:

“Lord, when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil, quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer.” Psalm 94:19

“You can never please God without faith, without depending on him. Anyone who wants to come to God must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely look for him.” Hebrews 11:6

Was this an easy time? No. Did God see us through it? Yes. Are we stronger and closer in Christ? Absolutely. One of the vivid memories from this time is when I called my Pastor to ask him to call my husband. He said to me, “You both have heard all your life what to do and how to live in faith. Now you have to do it.”

We all go through times that stretch our faith when we need healing for our hurt. What has you hurting today? Where do you place your faith? Who will you turn to? Have faith in Christ and know that nothing pleases Him more.

Tamela Ward is a nationally certified counselor at a local elementary school. She has been happily married to David for 21 years. David and Tamela live in South Carolina with their three miracle children. After David lost his job, God led him to start their own company which God has blessed beyond their dreams.

Mission Impossible? Tips for Planning Your Family Reunion

2010-06-01T06:00:00.003-04:00

By MaryBeth Seal

I am so jazzed because our family reunion is in 6 weeks and I’m in charge. Call me crazy, call me scary, but I love family reunions and making plans for food, folks and fun!

I like to think of putting the fun back in “dysfunctional!” My relatives aren’t perfect and neither are yours, but love covers a multitude of sins. You’ve heard the saying, “You can pick your friends, but you’re stuck with your relatives.” It’s all a matter of perspective.

Our reunion in Michigan actually begins on a Friday night, continues all day Saturday and concludes on Sunday morning. We enjoy our visits that much. Family members are coming from Colorado, Florida, Arizona, Illinois, Maryland, and Wisconsin. We’ve had this event ever since I was a young girl, and the experience becomes more dear to me personally as the years go by. This year, all of my siblings will be in the same place at the same time- 6 of us all together- and all of our children, along with our mother.

With about 50 people attending, this is not an easy or annual happening for a large family, so needless to say it will be valuable to each of us.

How can having a family reunion be a mission? As ambassadors for Christ, we can show the love of God in practical ways such as serving, offering hospitality, and building relationships. It may also provide a great opportunity to share your faith with family members.

Here are Some Ideas for a Fun and Memorable Family Reunion:

* Delegate jobs to relatives. Make sign up sheets for set up crews, clean up crews, cooks, beverages servers and corn shuckers

* Plan fun activities. Designate a “Director of Fun.” I personally love this position, because I can be crazy and creative and get family members of all ages playing zany games together.

* Speaking of games, here is an idea for all ages: Water-balloon toss- partners stand back to back a few feet apart then one throws the water balloon backwards over his head and his partner has to catch it in a pillow case. Seventy and seven year olds can partner up!

* How about a hole in one? One golf club, one ball and one hole. Form 2 teams and each team has a player putt 2 times and try to sink the ball in the same hole at the same distance. Again, seventy and seven year olds can play this.

* You can create relay races of all kinds, bean bag toss, and more.
(The Internet is a great resource for activity ideas.)

* Have some table games available.

* Karaoke is always fun to do and watch.

* Have prizes and gifts just for fun. Give a gift to the oldest member of the family to honor them. Recognize the newest member by marriage or by birth with a gift as well.

* Pass out whoopi cushions or goofy plastic teeth. Remember, to have fun you must make fun, it doesn’t happen by itself!

* Plan a food menu. This is always a challenge for large groups. If you need help, ask someone for ideas, look at magazines and allow plenty of time for planning and preparation. Food in our family is always a biggggggg deal. We always look forward to Pat’s hot potato salad, and Vite’s sweet corn!

* Purchase supplies ahead of time. Look for sales and don’t wait until the last minute. You need to be ready and relaxed to enjoy the family; not stressed out to the max.

* Let others help. Even children want jobs and to be involved, so delegate, delegate and delegate some more.

* Make traditions. We wear special t-shirts with our family logo on them and patches on our hats or shirts. Because of our heritage, we have an Irish theme with lots of green, and we display a large poster of my grandmother Emma O’Brien who is the matriarch of our family to help us remember our roots.

Things to Avoid at a Family Reunion:

•Don’t Bible thump your relatives; it’s really not the place or time. In fact, don’t ever Bible thump your relatives, it just is not an effective evangelizing tool. Better to be a living epistle that people can read.

•Avoid being critical and self righteous when Uncle ______ uses his rough language or has a few brews. Look beyond what you perceive as sin and love the sinner. “If you judge people; you have no time to love them.”(Mother Teresa)

•Stay away from gossip. Reunions are a time for building up and loving your family.

•Be an active participant, not a spectator. Get in the games and be a part of the family. I agree with Tommy Lasorda who said “I believe in laughter. I think it’s food for the soul.”

•Don’t hold a grudges against family members. Instead, forgive as Jesus has forgiven you. Remember that “kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” (Samuel Johnson.)

Well, I have more planning to do. We’re having a “Tiki Party” on the Friday night before our reunion. We’re going to get our “kahunas” on and have a good time! This summer, lighten up with your family and enjoy them while you can.

MaryBeth Seal is a nurse and a She Speaks graduate. She has written many articles for publication including: The Michiana Christian News in South Bend, The Active Christian News in Phoenix, and Mission Eyes Network, an online missions hub for eye health care missionaries.

Valley Girl….the Valley of Trouble Leads to a Door of Hope is her first published book and it can be purchased on line at any bookstore and Amazon.com. It’s the true story of how a violent crime investigation led her to brokenness and dependency on God as she discovered the kindness of the Lord in the midst of tragedy.

Speaking to women’s groups and Bible studies has been part of her ministry as well. “A Life to Overcome” is one her favorite presentations.

MaryBeth can be contacted at 269-683-4613 or mbseal2000@yahoo.com if you would like to schedule an event with her.

His Amazing Touch

2010-06-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

By Carolyn H. Reynolds

Slipping into the back-row seat for the breakout session, “Preparing for the Battlefield through Prayer,” at the 2009 She Speaks Conference, my eyes surveyed the room for a chair closer to the speaker. I knew God had directed me to this session, and I didn’t want to miss a word. There was not a single empty chair in sight; the classroom was filled to capacity. Disappointed with myself for lingering a little too long at the book table, I sat down in the back row and prepared to focus my full attention on the speaker’s presentation. Always the dutiful student, I was equipped with a class syllabus and arsenal of multicolored pens.

Getting equipped for spiritual battle has been a goal of mine for a long time, but especially now. There was an upcoming marriage enrichment weekend which my husband I were coordinating and my pastor warned us to always be on the alert for the tactics of the enemy, especially during ministry. My protective armor was a little rusty; it needed to be dusted, oiled, and polished! I knew I needed a renewed commitment to strap on the helmet of salvation, to put on the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, the sandals of the gospel of peace. Oh, how I needed a persistent, firm grip on the shield of faith. And most importantly, I needed a renewed commitment to take up my only defensive weapon, the sword of the spirit, the Living Word of God.

Immediately, I knew I would need to be laser-focused because nearby commotions began with later-than-me arrivals, and sound technicians making adjustments. Then the gal next to me began rubbing her eyes, and she asked if I had a tissue. After a quick survey through my usual everything-but-the-kitchen-sink handbag, I told her regretfully, I had none. Her head was slightly bowed forward, and her face remained concealed with her silky chestnut hair. She continued to rub her eyes. She must be having contact lens problems, I empathized. I’d like to think my motive was more out of compassion for another, but it was an “inner nudge to action” that wouldn’t stop. So up I sprang to locate and return with the needed TISSUES. Still, without any eye contact, my classmate waved to me a sweet thank-you. Whew! No more distractions.

A quiet hush fell over the room as our speaker, Luann, asked us to bow our heads for the opening prayer. It was at that very moment that I had overwhelming inclination to touch this person next to me on the shoulder. “No, not another distraction,” I thought. Had I not just purposed to stay focused on Luann’s prayer and message? Had I not heard from God to attend this session to learn and apply the principles we would hear? I struggled with myself regarding staying focused on the ongoing prayer, versus touching my classmate.

In a split-second my mind filled with questions, and the self-talk went something like this: “You don’t know this gal; she’ll think you’re nuts and she’d probably be right! Why risk making a fool of yourself? What if you scare her? What if…” That did it! Somewhere along my faith journey, I learned to take captive the “what if’s” of doubt and deception, and boldly step into the faith walk of “what if I fail to obey the voice of God?” I remembered that His sheep know His voice, and that there is peace in the center of His will. There was a prayer team back home praying for me to hear from God at “She Speaks”. And hadn’t my husband prayed over me that morning for God’s direction for my day?

So, by faith, I reached out and touched her. My heart suddenly warmed, and my hand gently began stoking her arm. It was a tender moment, reminding me of intimate memories with my children. Time seemed to stand still while my hand continued making soft circles on her arm. The prayer ended and our gazes continued focused forward on the speaker. Together we sat, two strangers, who were now connected by a spiritual bond of love.

Throughout the session, principles of effective prayers were interspersed with pertinent applications. The hour passed quickly. My colored highlighters got a workout, and the notes on Spiritual Warfare could parallel a Picasso. It was clear that spiritual warfare was not for the faint of faith. There were serious and somber charges to Christian prayer warriors like taking our thoughts captive and realizing the battle is the Lord’s.

At the conclusion of the session, we were challenged to find a prayer partner. At that time Tammy and I, introduced ourselves, paired together, and found our way to the prayer room. She took my arms in her hands tightly and shook me as if to get my attention.

“Carolyn, you’ll never believe what your touch during the opening prayer was to me. It was a gift from God. You see, I have been holding back tears throughout the conference because of the recent death of my precious son, Nick.” Just as I was entering the classroom, an “innocent” Mother whose son was fighting leukemia asked how Nick was doing. That’s when the dam broke.
Tears sprang from her eyes as she told me of the courageous journey of her precious son, Nicholas, who fought brain tumors for six years. At the conference the loneliness of missing Nick had tugged heavily at her heartstrings.

“When you reached over and touched me during the opening prayer, I knew it was a miracle from God,” Tammy explained. “The way you made gentle circles on my arm, was exactly the way Nick showed his love to me.”

What a gift from God we both experienced that day, His amazing touch.

Carolyn and Tammy have remained friends since the 2009 She Speaks Conference. You can read more about Tammy on her blog at http://www.tammynischan.com/.

Carolyn H. Reynolds, M.A. resides in Tampa Bay, Florida. She is a Bible teacher, Christian Life Purpose Coach, and president of Growth in Faith, an interdenominational ministry for women. Married to her dentist and best friend, Michael, they founded Pathway Partners for the purpose of encouragement through speaking, writing and coaching. They have authored a devotional book, “Pocket Pearls” and have hosted a television show, “Growing in Faith”. As new empty nesters, they retreat to Flat Rock, NC, where they conduct marriage conferences, and facilitate Life-Plans for individuals and couples. www.pathway-partners.com.

Why Don’t We Pray Together?

2010-06-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

by Holly Good

In recent years I have come to learn the importance of praying not only for my family, but also with my family.

When my kids were toddlers, I would faithfully pray with them every night before bed.

But as they grew older and went to bed themselves, this routine eventually stopped.

Several years ago, I felt convicted about praying with my family.

Why was it that I could pray so easily with the youth in our church, with women at conferences all over the country, and with friends at Bible study, but not with my own family? Those precious people I live and do life with every day? Why did we not pray together?

There are many excuses and reasons I could drum up. But I won’t go there.

I will just happily report that we now freely periodically pray together. It’s a part of the DNA of our family. But don’t misunderstand me. We still squabble, have many typical family frustrations and have to punish our kids for making wrong choices. But we are also quick to pray for guidance, help and thanks together.

For example, it warms my heart when my 14 year old son will come to me and ask, ‘Mom, will you pray for my game today?’ I drop everything and pray right there with him. Just last night as we were dropping him off at the movies with some friends, he asked us to pray for him as he was getting out of the car. He has come to rely on our prayers for strength, encouragement and hope in numerous situations.

Several weeks ago, my husband noticed that a pipe in our home had sprung a leak for the second time in four months. We were extremely stressed and quite disturbed at this find. The flashbacks immediately poured in, reminding us of the probability of more bills, new carpet and drywall. It had been quite the ordeal the first time around.

But as the plumber was fixing what turned about to be a very minor pipe leak, he smelled gas while he was up in our attic. So without hesitation he switched gears and worked quickly to replace the faulty gas valve.

I couldn’t help but sigh, sit down and give thanks. The annoying second- time-around water leak lead us to the could-be-dangerous gas leak situation.

Thank you, Lord. Your ways are much higher than our ways. Thank you for that pesky pipe leak. Thank you for that sharp plumber. Thank you that my husband noticed the pipe leak early before any significant water damage occurred. Thank you for keeping us safe.

So that very night, after the plumber had gone and we were finally able to turn our water back on, we sat in our family room and acknowledged the events which had taken place over the previous 36 hours. Then we prayed together, giving thanks for things that appear like annoying mishaps and unwanted expenses, but have a much bigger purpose.

Every time we gather and pray, He faithfully protects, loves, forgives, strengthens, heals, and binds our hearts closer.

I’ve learned that it’s one thing to tell my kids to pray. It’s something altogether different to join them in that adventure.

Tips for Praying with Your Family

* Keep it brief at first. You as the parent might be the only one to pray initially. Then after doing this several times, ask your children to pray. You might want to offer them a guideline, such as to pray at least three sentences.

* Use every day language in your prayers. This shows your kids that God wants to hear from them just as they are. This also helps to put them at ease when praying.

* Pray words of blessings over each child. This includes specific words of praise and encouragement. For example, Thank you, Lord, for Hillary’s sense of responsibility and hard work at her job.

* Help kids see where God is working. One way to acknowledge this is to keep a prayer journal and celebrate God’s goodness together.

* Encourage them to include prayer beyond the family time. Ask them how you can be praying for them and tell them how they can pray for you.

Holly Good is a wife, mother, and sold out servant of Christ. On staff with Proverbs 31 Ministries, her executive assistant position to Lysa TerKeurst finds her ministering to women all over the country at conferences, writing radio shows and authoring heart-stirring devotions sent to more than 300,000 subscribers. She is also the author of "Holly-Days" a much loved part of Lysa's daily blog. She enjoys her early morning runs with Lysa and is overwhelmingly humbled and honored to have the opportunity to serve Him in this ministry in such an incredible way. Holly lives with her husband and two teenage children in North Carolina. You can e-mail Holly@Proverbs31.org to connect with her.

Clothed with Strength and Dignity: What I Wore on Black Friday

2010-05-01T11:12:00.000-04:00

Unfortunately, many of us have received the dreaded “pink slip” in recent months. Theresa shares her experience and offers hope for others in a similar situation.

Clothed with Strength and Dignity: What I Wore on Black Friday
By Theresa Ceniccola

I wasn’t one hundred percent certain, but the empty pit in my stomach told me this was it. My time had come. Call it intuition, but when my boss set an unannounced private meeting on my calendar for a Friday afternoon during a recession, anxiety became my friend. I barely slept that night, bargaining with the Lord as I tossed in turned in my bed. When the sun finally peeked through the curtains I was filled with a sense of urgency and panic.

What does one wear to work on the day she gets laid off? The thought itself seemed superfluous and irrelevant, but at the same time oddly appropriate as I perused the options in my closet. Should I pay tribute to “Black Friday” by dressing head to toe in the obvious color?

Maybe I should wear something slightly outdated or mildly tattered in hopes that my boss will take pity on me and change his mind at the last minute. On the other hand, I could present a brave front wearing my power suit as an outward symbol of the inner strength I was searching so desperately to find. Perhaps I should let my whimsical side prevail by sporting a pink slip under my skirt. (No, I don’t actually own one, but a pink slip would have been a welcome reminder to retain my sense of humor.)

In the end, I opted for business casual – after all, it was Friday. I wore a simple olive sweater and tan dress pants that probably should have been pressed. I added a funky beaded necklace I purchased at the gift shop where I worked – using my employee discount, which I would sorely miss.

As I rushed through my usual routine in the mirror, I instinctively reached for the waterproof mascara, normally reserved for days at the beach or a girls’ night out at the movies. I knew I would need the reliable smudge-proof formula. I recited a litany of my favorite prayers as I drove to the office, too preoccupied to be mindful of their meaning, yet finding comfort in the familiar sound of the words in my head.

My qualms were confirmed when my boss closed the door behind me as I entered his office. I knew instantly that he was uncomfortable. His words were rehearsed yet awkward. “You are aware of the current economic situation,” he began. I mentally pleaded with him to get to the point. I remember hearing the words “economy” and “termination” and “sorry.”

“Breathe,” I instructed myself. Despite my best efforts, I felt the tears surface against my will. I wanted to ask questions – to clarify the details – to negotiate. But the words simply could not emerge in any intelligible manner. I managed to utter a feeble request, “Isn’t there any other option?”

He struggled to conceal his sympathy. “We have no more work for you,” he responded. Ouch. My thoughtfully assembled attire was meaningless now. It provided no protection from the pain and hurt. No escape from reality. Holding back my tears, I managed to express my gratitude for the opportunity to work with a wonderful organization and for the friendships I had formed. There was nothing left to say.

The floodgates released as I left the office and I had to stop twice on the way home because I couldn’t see well enough to drive. I called my husband and invited him into my state of shock and despair. We spent the next 24 hours crying and praying. Despite my devastation, I was keenly aware of the gift in my situation. Here I was, holding hands with my husband and praising our Lord aloud. Other than blessings before meals, and the bedtime routine with the kids, prayer is a private activity in our house. I could not help but reminded of the words of Matthew 18:20 – “Where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

The remainder of the weekend, we alternated turns keeping the kids occupied so they wouldn’t notice our world was coming to an end. Whoever decided it was best to terminate workers on a Friday clearly did not have young children at home. I would have preferred to mourn in private after I put them on the school bus under the illusion that everything was just perfect. Instead I grieved in stolen moments in between basketball games, birthday parties and Sunday school. Sleep eluded me, yet I was drawn to my bed as if there were some healing powers in my covers. I emerged on occasion, wearing my weekend uniform of flannel pants and a comfy sweatshirt.

On Monday morning, I found myself alone in the closet, once again searching for the perfect outfit for the occasion. Then the Lord whispered in my ear a familiar phrase from a favorite scripture, “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31: 25

So I dusted off some of my classic favorites and tried them on for size: grace and honor, hope and faith, kindness, wisdom, ambition and honesty. I was surprised how well they fit. And I have a feeling they will always be in style. As timeless as the Word of God.

Months later, I understand and accept God’s plan for the once unwelcome change in my career. Despite the emotional turmoil, the endless soul searching has yielded an opportunity for growth and transformation. My new professional direction allows me to spend more time with my children and to truly be present in their lives. While I pray that others are not faced with the same unexpected challenge, I also offer my personal tips for surviving job loss with strength and dignity.

How to Dress Divinely in Times of Despair

• Remember that God has a plan for you – even when you don’t have one for yourself. Most of us control freaks know this is true, but it’s very difficult to internalize. I relied on my journal to pray and write to God asking Him for patience and courage to follow His plan.

• Find one positive thing in your situation and enjoy it. Perhaps you can spend more time with family, sleep in late or work in your garden. For me, it is a blessing to be able to be home when my children get off the school bus every afternoon.

• Be honest with yourself and others. People respect a straightforward approach and in today’s economy, there is no shame in losing a job. The disgrace comes from how you convey your story to others. I found it refreshingly healing to admit that life is difficult but through hard work and faith in God, something wonderful will develop.

• Seek comfort and support from others and be willing to accept their assistance. At first, it was difficult for me to ask for help – to acknowledge that I needed someone to watch my kids so I could go on a job interview or that my children could use some hand-me-down clothes. It was even more humbling to decline social invitations because they were no longer in the budget. But, I found that friends truly did want to help me and these were simple ways they could show their kindness.

• Remain open to God’s call. When I told friends about my situation, many of them gave the standard reply, “When God closes one door, He opens another.” This response, although comforting, became cliché after awhile. But the message at heart is significant – God was calling me to create a change in my life – one that I never would have made on my own. I had to remain open to this call and believe in the world of opportunity that He opened for me.

Theresa Ceniccola is a writer and corporate communications professional living in Virginia Beach, VA. With more than 20 years of experience in healthcare, Theresa has covered topics from cardiac surgery to patient safety and family-centered care. She recently answered God’s call to write personal stories to inspire others. Theresa’s passion for writing allows her to spend time with her husband and their three children. Theresa is co-founder of Write to Health, a guided journaling practice dedicated to encouraging people to discover the health benefits of writing. Her own journal writing enriches her personal relationship with Christ and provides a sacred place for ongoing spiritual reflection. Theresa is active in community organizations including her home church, Susan G. Komen and Girl Scouts.

Starting a Home-Based Business from Scratch

2010-05-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

Does working from home sound appealing to you? Before you make the leap, read these tips from Glynnis.

Starting a Home-Based Business from Scratch
By Glynnis Whitwer

There are several ways to make money from home: telecommute for a company, invest in a multi-level business like Mary Kay or start a business from scratch. That’s what my husband and I did when we started www.RoseLaneCottage.com.

I love the cottage-style look, and have read decorating magazines for years. When we wanted to make some money from home, we started with something I loved, and started selling home accent pieces with a cottage look. However, we quickly realized after starting the business, that our decorative office products were the most popular items on our site. So now we focus on those items.

A business you start from scratch can combine things you love, or a dream you’ve had for years. It could be assembling gift baskets, planning children’s parties, or making and selling specialty cookies. A start-from-scratch business almost always starts with your unique talents or experience.

If you have never owned a dog, never worked in a pet shop, and never had experience or instruction in obedience training, then you probably shouldn’t start an animal behavior business. Just because you want to learn a skill doesn’t mean you’ll be successful at it. In other words, start with something you know.

You may have the perfect vision of the business you want to start. If not, the possibilities are almost endless. But how do you make a decision on what’s right for you?

My friend and fellow author, Janet Drez, author of “Putting the Pieces Together: A Christian Woman’s Guide to a Successful Home-Based Business” advises women on what type of home-based business to choose. She recommends asking yourself questions such as:
• What did you enjoy most about the last two positions you held?
• What did you like least?
• What did you study in high school or college that you enjoyed?
• What hobbies do you enjoy?
• What do your friends and family tell you you’re good at?
• What is your family background? Traditions?
• What are your spiritual gifts? (1 Corinthians 12:7-11; Romans 12:6-8; Ephesians 4:11)
• What types of people do you enjoy being around?
• Do you need a business which is done mainly in your home (bookkeeping) or are you able to make appointments?
• If there were no limits or feasibility issues, what type of business do you think you’d like to start?
• Where would you like to be in two years in all areas of your life?

Armed with this information, you can proceed to brainstorm the variety of business opportunities available. If you need some ideas, here is a list of businesses that women have successfully run from home.

• Catering
• Florist
• Gift Buying
• Party Entertainment
• Photography
• Accounting/bookkeeping
• Computer Instruction/Consulting
• Foreign Language Translation
• Personalized Stationery
• Website or Blog Design
• Ballet/Dance Instructor
• Cheerleading/Coaching/How to Try Out
• Clothes Recycling – Children
• Interior Design for Children’s Rooms
• Etiquette for Children
• Memoir Writing
• Tutoring

The ideas are unlimited. Start with prayer, and then take steps towards owning your own home-based business.

Click here to buy work@home A Practical Guide for Women Who Want to Work at Home.

Glynnis Whitwer is the editor of the “P31 Woman” magazine, and the author of two books, including “work@home” and “When Your Child is Hurting.” Glynnis has worked at home for over 10 years, and her husband Tod joined her in 2005. Together they raise five children, run an environmental consulting firm and an online store: www.RoseLaneCottage.com. Read more about Glynnis at www.GlynnisWhitwer.com.

Would My Kids Say That I Love Being a Mom?

2010-05-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

Here’s a sneak peek at Lysa’s new book “Am I Messing Up My Kids? … And Other Questions Every Mom Asks…

Would My Kids Say That I Love Being a Mom?
By Lysa TerKeurst

This week I got a note from a friend of mine who is the young mom of three little boys. She's in that stage of complete and utter exhaustion. If you’re not in this season now, you can probably remember being knee deep in poopy diapers and scratching your greasy head, while simultaneously discovering the pattern on your over-sized sweatpants is, in fact, a collection of snot.

Her e-mail so touched my heart because I realized I am no longer there. But in the midst of being in that hard season of life, I thought I'd never get out of it. I truly felt like motherhood would be full of poop, snot, exhaustion, and over-sized sweat pants for 18 years. And, I felt super guilty for not loving every minute of it.

I'm in a different season now. (Though I still find myself wearing those over-sized sweat pants!) And I realize it's my responsibility to call back to those behind me with encouragement, support and love. So, to all my young mama friends- here's my call back to you...

Sweet young mother- I struggled so much when my kids were little. People would tell me to appreciate these years, for they pass by in a blink. I'd go home blinking my little eyeballs to death wishing they would pass a little quicker.

But I must say, God used those years to grow me and stretch me more spiritually than anything else I've ever been through. Even when you only get little snippets of time with God, His lessons are there moment by moment.

Just the fact that I survived my first daughter is evidence of God's amazing grace working in my life. She once bit my face leaving me with a hole- A HOLE !- in the side of my cheek. With everything in me, I wanted to march her back to that hospital that aided me in birthing her and demand some DNA testing. I was certain I'd brought home the wrong child.

That is until my mama told me she'd been praying for years for me to birth someone just like me. Ahem. Payback for her was pure bliss.

Anyhow, moment by moment I survived. Life did not pass me by. Opportunity did not pass me by. And my ministry was right there waiting for me when I changed that last diaper. Your dreams, goals, aspirations and hopes for how your future will look, will be right there waiting for you as well.

Those years where I only did little people ministry within my home worked out some kinks between me and the Lord, and perfectly prepared my heart to be so much more real and authentic. I came to realize my desperate need for God like never before.

I came to realize my desperate need for grace like never before. I came to realize that even a rule-following girl like me can be pushed to cuss. And then I realized even more grace than before.

Hold on sweet sister. There is nothing wrong with you when you feel like you love those little people, but some days you don't like them very much. It's okay. We've all been there. This too shall pass. And when it does, you'll actually miss parts of it. And you'll actually not miss some parts of it too!

You see, it’s all part of a grand plan God has to knit you into His story. Day by day, He is weaving, stretching and developing something so incredibly magnificent. Some days you’ll feel like your life is just a tangled mess. But those knots are necessary to ground us in the Lord and make the fabric of our life strong. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

If you will hold on to that precious heart of wisdom, you are in the process of gaining day by day, and you’ll start to see the beauty, even in the imperfections of your life. And a mom who embraces beauty despite imperfections, is a woman whose kids know she loves being a mom.

As I walked up the front steps of my house last night, I paused and breathed in the most glorious air of familiarity. Home. My favorite place in the world. The place where I do life.

A land of missing hamsters, brace faced teens, homework posters, dented cars, wood eating squirrels, a shotgun toting husband and more dust bunnies than I care to admit. Where conversation abounds, tears are shed, frustrations aired, and laughter swells to fill our crazy life.

This is the dream of my heart.

So, after all is said and done, the thrill of my day is scampering back to the square little place we've staked out in the world- this place where my people gather each night with an amazing sense of belonging.

This place where it's okay to wear ragged jeans, no makeup, and forget I even own a brush. With all its beautiful imperfections, this is my place. My home.

And yes, yes, a thousand times over yes, I love the privilege of being called Mom.

Overflowing with practical ideas, short Bible studies, and plenty of encouragement, this inspiring resource will help overwhelmed mothers turn to God's grace as their lifeline.

“Am I Messing Up My Kids? … And Other Questions Every Mom Ask is a re-release of “The Bathtub is Overflowing, But I Feel Drained.”

Click here to buy this book from P31 Ministries.

Artificial Sweeteners - A Sweet Deception

2010-04-15T08:54:00.000-04:00

By Michelle M Dillon, ND

Diet sodas, diet desserts, diet candy, low carb this and that. When dieting one may seek out these food products thinking they are actually good for you, or at least that they can't hurt. However - beware. When something is diet it simply means that the sugar is taken out and replaced by a chemical. I have done some investigating into artificial sweeteners like aspartame and Splenda and the affect they have on our bodies. I have also looked at some natural sweeteners like Stevia and Agave Nectar to determine whether or not these are safe. The bottom line result of my research: if you can not find it in nature, then you might as well steer clear of it as anything synthetic should be avoided!

Symptoms reported to the FDA as reactions to aspartame are as follows: headaches, dizziness, mood swings, vomiting or nausea, abdominal pain and cramps, change in vision, diarrhea, seizures or convulsions, memory loss, fatigue, rash, sleep problems, hives, change in heart rate, numbness and tingling, difficulty breathing, menstrual problems, and oral sensory changes. So, as you can see, there are a variety of very common complaints that could be caused by a chemical that is purposely placed in food to produce a sweet taste. This sweet deception is ridiculous, and is a main cause of a number of complaints.

As a Naturopathic Physician I strive to find the cause of many health ailments, many of which could be attributed to the artificial sweetener craze. After eliminating the chemicals, many health complaints go away. Imagine if treating the cause was not the motive, then with a complaint of a headache you would be placed on a pain killer, or if nausea was the issue perhaps another medication to mask the symptoms. It just doesn't make sense!

Splenda also known as 'sucralose' is another sweetener used by millions each year, it's side effects include: bloating, nausea, diarrhea, various skin irritations like rashes, hives, and swelling, breathing difficulties, like wheezing, runny nose, coughing, heart palpitations, itchy eyes, migraines, blurred vision, and emotional effects like anxiety and depression, mood swings, and sudden onset of anger. Apart from these there are also a number of physical effects of sucralose or Splenda such as: enlarged liver and kidneys, reduced growth rate, decreased fetal growth rate, extended pregnancy, and even decreased red blood cell count.

Healthier Alternatives

So are there healthier alternatives? Anything that is naturally found in nature would be the answer. For example Stevia, an herb used by natives in South America for centuries, would be a very healthy and fabulous alternative. This is simply a plant that is 300 times sweeter than sugar; it does not affect insulin levels, and is not inflammatory to the body. It is not man made and therefore a lot safer. Its God made and, of course, God knows what He is doing. :)

Agave nectar is another sweetener that is becoming popular. Again, it originates from a plant and is therefore a safer alternative to chemical sweeteners. (Keep in mind that overuse of any product, natural or not, is probably not good for you. Any sweetener should be used in moderation!) Most things that come without a label are a hundred times safer than what is not found in nature. If God wanted us to have aspartame or Splenda he would have made a Splenda tree or bush.

Bottom line: if it is not found as a whole in nature, don't consume it as the body was not designed to metabolize it! And before you make a trip to the pharmacy, eliminate all the artificial sweeteners, or any other chemicals you are consuming as there is a good chance that the chemical is causing the problem!

Michelle M. Dillon earned her doctorate of Naturopathic Medicine at Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine in Tempe, Arizona. She specializes in women's health, using all natural alternatives to conditions like PCOS, infertility, and weight loss. A mom herself she understands the implications of what women put themselves through as mother's and how it plays a role in their health. She feels that her practice is God's calling for her life and feels blessed to be able to do so. Her private practice is in Charlotte, North Carolina where she lives with her husband and daughter. Visit her website at www.DrMichelleDillon.com for more information.

Quick and Easy Ways to Prevent Flu and Colds

2010-04-02T08:49:00.000-04:00

By Michelle M. Dillon, ND

Don't Freak Out! Stress actually decreases your ability to fight infections. You can literally worry yourself sick instead of finding a way to constructively process these very real feelings. Go for a walk with a friend. Give your worries to God in prayer. Get a massage. Watch funny movies - laugh! You may not be able to control the viral realm of the world, but you can help your body and mind be strong in the face of any viral challenge.

Avoid the Sweets! As tempting as it may be, avoid reaching for starchy and sugary snacks to soothe negative feelings. Studies indicate that consuming large amounts of carbohydrates and sugar can drastically lower the activity of neutrophils. Neutrophils are the first responders and look similar to Pac man, but instead of munching on cherries; Neutrophils munch on unwanted invaders like bacteria or viruses. Just one teaspoon of sugar can decrease these neutrophils for up to 5 hours!

Get Your Zzzz's! When in the midst of an illness the body often demands more sleep, simply because sleep helps strengthen the body's defenses. The same is true
when trying to stay well. The key is to get adequate sleep (usually between 7-9 hours) in a completely dark environment. Darkness is necessary in order for the brain to produce adequate/optimal levels of melatonin, which may be responsible for some of the immune-boosting effects of sleep.

Get out in the fresh air and sunshine! Make sure you take the time to open up your house and air out the reused air inside. This is especially important when a family member is at home sick, you do not want to be re-breathing their air. Open the windows and get outside for some fresh air and sunshine.

There is a growing body of evidence that vitamin D, which you get from the sun, is imperative for optimal immune function. You can prime your body's immune system by getting regular sun exposure. The key is to spend time in the sun during the morning and evening hours so as not to get sunburn. I recommend 15 minutes or more of "smart sun exposure" several times a week. Consider supplementing with Vitamin D3 (cholecalciferol) so you can be assured a consistent and adequate supply of vitamin D, especially as we head into the winter months!

Protect yourself with food using Food as your Medicine! Fruits & vegetables will give you the best protection when it comes to supporting your immune health. They are rich in antioxidants, bioflavonoids, and phytonutrients that will powerfully support your body's health.

Increase your immune system with this easy homemade remedy: Immune boosting tea is easily made and works well to help prevent illness along with shorten the duration of any sickness. Just peel and chop up 8-9 cloves of garlic. Then boil in 2.5 cups of water for 10-15 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. Then a dash of honey for taste. The combination of the three (garlic, vinegar, and honey) are medicinal and help to increase the immune system along with kill any bacteria or virus' that are causing problems.

Don’t Fight the Mask

2010-04-01T06:00:00.002-04:00

by Melissa Nesdahl

“No! No! No, mommy, no!” With hot tears streaming down her red, swollen face, my tiny two year old, Hannah, thrashed her body from side to side in desperate attempt to break my hold. As she sat on my lap inside of the loving but firm embrace of one hand, I struggled to use the other to place the mask that would deliver life-giving albuterol to her sick, RSV stricken body. Desperately wanting the best for Hannah, I encouraged her to quit resisting the doctor’s order because it would restore health to her weak body.

I love being a mother. When God blessed my husband and I with our firstborn, Grace, I welcomed the opportunity to stay home with her, investing all my time and energy into raising this beautiful girl God entrusted to us. Shortly after her first birthday, God surprised us with another pregnancy. Hannah came just two days after Grace turned two.

To care for myself, I rose about two hours before the girls, allowing time to exercise, get myself ready, and enjoy some Bible study. I felt spiritually full and ready for my day when the girls awoke. Life changed, however, when the girls grew into toddlers. Suddenly I heard “mooommy!” just as I would get out of bed. Energetic and anxious for the day’s activities, Grace and Hannah ran out of their room to greet me with their morning hugs and kisses. And my morning routine was gone.

Feeling as though I had no “me time,” I found myself struggling. I so desperately craved the exercise and Bible study squeezed out by the needs of the day, but there didn’t seem to be time. I woke up tired, cared for my girls, spent quality time with my amazing husband, volunteered in the community, was present for my family and friends, and then crashed hard at night. From sun up to sun down my day was jam-packed with activity, and I was running on empty.

Snappy and out of shape, I broke. Something had to change. I couldn’t keep operating this way and still be the person that God created me to be.

In my youth, I learned 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, which reads, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you are bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (NIV). Although I’d always considered it in relation to modesty, premarital sex, alcohol, and drugs, I unexpectedly found the verse creeping through my mind time and time again.

God was convicting me. When I envision temples, or a place of worship, I picture a pristine structure commanding reverence. But I was doing anything but respecting my body. Life’s busyness had sucked the discipline of exercise completely out of my life.

During Bible study, I requested prayer for wisdom. My husband and I considered purchasing an elliptical machine, but space and the safety of our children were concerns. The other possibility was joining a gym. Not surprisingly, I found challenges with that as well. My girls were never cared for by anyone other than family. Would they do okay with a stranger in a playroom? And, would I honestly have the ambition to leave the comforts of exercising in my own home to get myself and the kids loaded into the car each day, drive to a facility, unload the kids, get sweaty, reload the kids, drive home, unload the kids yet again, and get myself ready?

No! No! No, God, No! And in that moment, I became to God what Hannah was to me. She wanted physical health without the albuterol mask and I wanted physical, emotional, and spiritual health without needing to alter my routine. She flailed around pleading for me not to give her the treatment and I placed an agitated heart before God begging to be released from my situation. I said, “Please Hannah, just do this, I know it will make you well,” and my all-knowing God voiced the same to me.

Eventually Hannah gave up the fight. Trusting my words, she allowed me to place the mask against her face and very quickly her shallow, constricted breathing slowed into relaxed, fulfilling breaths. Likewise, I submitted to God’s voice. Confident that He was calling me to a gym, I pressed forward and purchased a membership.

God surprised me. Although the first few separations were rough, the girls adapted quickly and now they actually desire going to the playroom each day. Meanwhile, I get to bike while reading my Bible study, walk the treadmill as I listen to scripture, and run on the elliptical while enjoying Christian music – not to mention sharing meaningful fellowship with others.

What spiritual discipline has been put on the back burner in your life? What changes do you need to make to better honor your God-given temple? I beg that you don’t fight the mask. Please listen to His voice, because when the Great Physician writes a prescription it will always breathe life into your longing body.

Melissa Nesdahl is a wife, mother, volunteer, and independent Christian writer striving to foster faith development in the life of her readers. Previous publications include the Chicago Tribune, Pam Stenzel’s “Love Lessons: Purity is Possible” CD series’ leaders guide, and “Surviving China” in Kyria. Catch Melissa twittering at http://twitter.com/MelissaNesdahl.

Welcoming Overnight Guests: Hospitality Tips

2010-04-01T06:00:00.001-04:00

By Karen Ehman

Hospitality.
Sometimes the very word sends shudders up our spine as doubt invades our brain. “Host others for a meal or even overnight? No way. Not me!!! Too difficult and almost downright scary!”

Fear not, sweet sisters! There are simple solutions to your hosting dilemmas. With a little forethought and creativity, you can offer hospitality with a smile and with ease.
Although we’ve never had company live with us for an extended period of time, we have had our fair share of overnight guests. My husband’s parents have always lived nearly three hours from us and have come to stay several times a year. We have missionary friends and college buddies who also spend the night with us. And then there are our kids’ friends! Each month of the year finds us hosting an assortment of sleepy-eyed teenage girls or bright-eyed and bushy-tailed boys up at the crack of dawn ready to go pester squirrels with their BB guns. Yep, hospitality means sometimes guests spend the night.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to remember when hosting overnight callers:

Decide where they will keep their things, even if there isn’t space in the room where they will sleep. Show them the spot and make sure others respect their personal space and property.

Have a pleasant place for them to lay their head for the night. It doesn’t have to be a real guest bedroom. At our former house, company slept on a hand-me-down pull-out sofa we had in our unfinished basement. We purchased a new slipcover for it and made sure it was outfitted with warm, flannel sheets as the room was sometimes chilly. We found a dresser at a yard sale that they could use to put their things in. We painted the walls white to lighten the room and would set out a bouquet of fresh flowers, or leave chocolates on their pillows like a real inn would.

Stock their room with needed items. A lamp for evening reading, a mirror for getting ready, and a working alarm clock are the basics.

Show them the bathroom. Have a space cleared on the counter or in a cabinet for them to place their toiletries. Roll a few wash cloths and tie with a ribbon. Place them on top of the bath towel they will use. Fill a small basket with other items they might possibly need: soap, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush, lotion, etc. Look for these items in special scents and trial sizes. Or, if a hotel says you can take them, then by all means, bring them home!

Let them know the laundry facilities are available to them. Check each day to see if they need anything washed and dried or ironed.

Have a pitcher of water and glasses in their room. Have the refrigerator well stocked with juices, spritzers, or teas for them to enjoy if they are thirsty.

Consider placing a basket of fruit or shortbread cookies and chocolates in their room. Tailor it to their liking. Include anything that says, “Welcome! We were thinking of you!”

If a coffee lover will be staying with you and you don’t drink coffee, consider purchasing a small coffeemaker that they can use in their room.

Let them know your schedule and be aware of theirs. Discuss breakfast the night before. Let them know when supper will be served and make sure it works in their schedule.

Before they come, discuss dietary restrictions.

Pet- and child-proof your guest’s room. They will appreciate the protection it will provide their belongings. Also, before arrival, find out if your guests have pet allergies. Rid your place of pet hair and try to keep your animals away from them as much as you can.

Let them know if there are any quirks to how things work at your house. Does the hot water take a while to run? Does the front door lock need a little push to the right in order to open?

If you can’t always be home when they will be returning, give them a spare house key.

Treat them like both guests and part of the family. People feel uneasy if you seem to be begrudgingly putting life on hold just to entertain them. As a rule, go about your daily routine, but make them a part of it.

There you have it! Now, don’t feel as if you need to invite a whole host of folks to spend the week with you. Start small. In no time, you will be in hostess heaven and your guest will feel right at home. Enjoy your company!

For more great hospitality tips, check out Karen’s book “A Life that Says Welcome.”
Karen Ehman is also a member of the P31 Speaker’s team. Click here to learn more about Karen.

Greater Love: An Easter Miracle on Main Street

2010-04-01T06:00:00.000-04:00

By MaryBeth Seal

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13

“Mary, can you help us move this weekend?” asked my friend Yola.
With some trepidation I replied, “Of course we can help you move.” Yola was my new friend from work.
I hesitated because it was going to be on Easter weekend and I had a lot of grocery shopping, baking, and meal preparation to do for my family. I was sure it would be a huge inconvenience. “Somehow I’ll manage to do it all,” I told myself. Doing it all myself was a lifelong trap, and I still fall into it more than I like to admit.
This particular holiday, I planned to make an atypical Easter dinner-not the traditional ham, potato salad, and yams we were used to. I discovered a recipe for a unique way to serve sliced ham and turkey, layered with Swiss cheese and spinach. These ingredients would then be baked in the middle of rolled pastry dough. These sliced pinwheels made for a great presentation on a decorative serving platter. I couldn’t wait to get in the kitchen and begin my food art work!
There was one traditional food that I was not going to forgo, and that was the lamb cake. My mother always made lamb cakes as I was growing up, and now I always make one for my own family. It is basically pound cake batter baked in a lamb form pan. After it’s cooled, it would be iced with vanilla frosting and finally smothered with snow white flaked coconut. I would use black jelly beans for the nose and eyes. Carefully placing a red ribbon around its neck, the lamb would be positioned on a bed of Easter grass and become the center piece for our table.
As a child, I thought lamb cakes were cute. As an adult, I understand that Jesus is the Lamb of God; that he was slain for the forgiveness of sin for all mankind, and for me personally. He was the incarnate sacrificial Passover Lamb. The beautiful lamb cake that would be our centerpiece would be broken, slashed and served after our meal.
Soon, the holiday weekend roared in and I charged out the door to go help my friends move. After all, we had the truck, and my husband and our teen son had the muscles. I did my share of carrying boxes down the flight of stairs to the truck and up three flights of stairs to their new apartment.
Later that afternoon upon returning home, my “charge” had expired. I felt like I was wearing a bell diver’s suit. I trudged into my kitchen to begin the preparation for my Easter dinner. My food art work was looking more like hard work. Before starting my list, I had to unload two bags of food that Yola had sent home with me from her place. They were going out of the country for a month, and didn’t want it to be wasted.
As I packed her things into my refrigerator, it was as though I was putting a puzzle together. Yola had no way of knowing of my dinner plans, so this dinner puzzle was quite surprising. I took out a package of sliced ham, then one of sliced turkey, and in the mix, a package of Swiss cheese! To my absolute astonishment, I pulled out a box of freezer pastry dough, just exactly what I needed to make the dinner from the magazine recipe.
Just then there was a knock on our door. My future daughter-in-law stood in the doorway holding a dish on which sat a beautiful lamb cake!
I knew God was blessing us for helping our friends that day. He laid down his life for his friends; and asks us to do the same for others. When we sat down to dinner on that extraordinary Easter Sunday, we enjoyed an amazing “grace,” the grace of a miracle. Our hearts were filled with gratitude.

MaryBeth Seal is a nurse and a She Speaks graduate. Speaking to women’s groups and Bible studies has been part of her ministry as well. “A Life to Overcome” is one her favorite presentations. MaryBeth recently had her first book published “Valley Girl….the Valley of Trouble Leads to a Door of Hope,” and it is available at Amazon.com. MaryBeth can be contacted at mbseal2000@yahoo.com.

A Well-Pruned Life

2010-03-01T18:00:00.001-05:00

By Erin Bunting

Outside my office window are two small mail-order apple trees that my husband and son planted ten years ago. When the plants first arrived they looked like a couple of dead sticks -- no branches, no leaves, their sparse, scraggly roots wrapped in plastic. Nothing suggested what kind of trees they’d someday grow up to be except for little labels marked “MacIntosh” and “Liberty.”

For the first couple of years, the trees grew leaves on their weak, feeble branches, but no apples. Finally one spring, they blossomed and bore their first fruit – small, hard, spotted, ugly, sour and inedible.

Eventually, the trees grew enough branches to require pruning. Knowing nothing about the proper pruning of fruit trees I asked a local orchard owner for advice. He drew me a diagram, gave me a few tips, and I also bought a book. Every year since, in the late winter when the trees are still dormant, I head out with my pruning shears and sink the sharp, hooked blades into the tender bark, lopping off dead, damaged or diseased limbs, useless shoots and branches. Later, when the weather warms a little and the branches are more pliable, I attach cords to any upward-reaching limbs and bind them to the trunk, training them into the characteristic graceful downward curve of apple trees.

They always look a little pathetic after pruning – shorn, bound and naked, exposed. But miraculously, a couple of months later, buds, then leaves then fragrant blossoms burst open gloriously and adorn those once-bare branches. In late June, tiny apples replace the blossoms. When I untie the cords the branches hold their new shape. With proper pruning, those little sticks have grown into flourishing, fruitful trees. Every year they yield not only more apples, but larger, tastier, prettier, healthier ones. Last fall I gathered enough to can several quarts of homemade applesauce.
I prune my apple trees to remove useless, superfluous growth and to allow in more sunlight, which encourages fruit production and ripening. In the same way, God disciplines me to remove what’s useless and superfluous, sinful, selfish or simply unnecessary, from my life. His pruning allows more “Son-light” in to encourage spiritual fruitfulness in me, the “fruit of the Spirit” which is “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

Jesus described God as “the gardener” who “cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:2) The Greek word for prune, “kathairo,” means to purge or cleanse of filth or impurity. It’s what James meant when he encouraged Christians to “get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.” (James 1:21) By removing what’s harmful, diseased or useless, God’s pruning makes way for healthy spiritual growth.
Pruning takes time, patience and know-how. A wise fruit grower knows exactly when, where and how much to prune. He also knows that over-pruning can damage or even kill a growing tree. It must be done gradually, in the proper season, a little at a time over a tree’s entire life. God, too, knows exactly when, where and how much pruning I need and can withstand. Like a wise gardener, He disciplines me gradually and in the proper season as I grow in Christ’s likeness. Even though I was “made perfect” by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, I am constantly in the process of “being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14). With His discipline, God trims, shapes and trains me a little at a time, removing what’s harmful, sinful or simply useless so that I may achieve wholeness and maturity, and bear healthy fruit.

Still, even though I know that pruning is good for me, sometimes it hurts -- a lot. The writer of Hebrews said, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.” (Hebrews 12:11). Remember, pruning requires the sharp blades of loppers, shears, snips, and saws. Sometimes, God has to wound me before He can use me. But thankfully, His cuts are kind, clean and precise, and always for my good – to shape me into the disciple He wants me to be.

Like my apple trees, sometimes I feel a little pathetic after pruning – shorn, bound and naked, exposed. But God promises He’ll never abandon me in that condition. Rather, after I have suffered a little while, He promises to restore me and make me “strong, firm and steadfast.” (1 Peter 5:10) And then, as I continue to grow, miraculously, I blossom. Tended by God’s skillful discipline, my “feeble arms and weak knees” are strengthened and able to hold their new shape. And eventually, I bear the fruit of a strong, firm, well-pruned life -- a “harvest of righteousness and peace.” (Hebrews 12:11) Sure, pruning hurts. But the results are worth it. Like Oswald Chambers said, “To be hurt by Jesus is the most exquisite hurt conceivable.”
Jesus Himself said simply, “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good. Make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.” (Matthew 12: 33)

With proper care and pruning, I’ve watched a couple of dead-looking sticks grow into productive, fruitful trees. And now, every fall I look forward to the sweet, juicy crunch of fresh, crisp Macintosh and Liberty apples. Likewise, with proper care and pruning, I’ve experienced God’s shaping and transformation of me, a little at a time, closer to the image of Christ. Even though it’s sometimes painful and I have lots more growing to do, I’ve learned to patiently welcome the “exquisite hurts,” the careful cleansing cuts administered by my heavenly Father.

Erin Bunting is a writer, speaker, actor, athlete and artist whose mission is to communicate God’s truth clearly, creatively, responsibly and relevantly. Erin holds degrees in journalism, theater arts and English. She has recently contributed essays to “P31 Woman,” “FullFill,” and “Kyria.” She lives in Ohio with her husband and two sons.

Sexting? Is Your Child?

2010-03-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

by Lynn Cowell

Concern seemed to spill from the girls’ lips as I heard their discussion developing in the back seat of the car. “You’ll help me as I confront her, right?” “Right.” Obviously, there was something happening in the lives of these seventh grade girls, causing them to be acting more like adults than ‘tweeners. Not wanting to pry, but feeling I like should be in the know, I continued to do the “mom eavesdrop”. “She said the pictures weren’t of her. They were of someone else, but why would you have pictures like that on your own phone?” Disappointment and sadness began to flood my heart. The world of sexting was crossing over into my child’s borders.

New Battlefield

Sexting is one of the newer battlefields we are now calling to fight upon for our children. Sexting is the new name for the act of sending, receiving or forwarding naked photos via your cell phone. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy conducted a survey which reported that one teenager in five reported having sent or posted naked photos of themselves.

Like me, you are probably thinking, “No way, not my children.” Unfortunately, it is more common than most of us would ever want to believe and I, for one, don’t want to be caught off guard. I’m the type of mom who would rather face things head on; get it out in the open and talk about it. Knowing this as well as the fact that I like to keep up on the latest things teens face, my fifteen-year-old daughter called me to check out a tv program. She was flipping through the channels and found Tyre Banks was hosting a panel of teen girls and their moms. Their topic: sexting. Hoping I might gain some insight into the how’s and why’s of this new rage, I invested the next hour of my time.

Want To Be Valued

As I watched, I looked over the girls on the show. They didn’t look rough or harsh. In fact, they looked a lot like any girl I would see at my daughter’s school or in our church. Then, I began to listen. “I liked being told that I was beautiful.” “The boys finally started to pay attention to me.” “I really don’t see it as that big of a deal.” My heart sank. It’s the same old trick from our enemy, Satan; he has just used a new means.

Girls want to be valued. They want to know that they are beautiful and wanted. I used the opportunity to once again instill in my daughters the truth of who they are in Christ. They have Someone who tells them that they are beautiful - their Creator. He is paying attention to you every minute of every day. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we use them in ways He didn’t intend, it is a really big deal! I reinforce these truths by having framed pictures with verses and sayings hanging in their rooms. My prayer is that when they are doing their homework, talking on the phone or straightening their hair, they will remind them of just who they are.

I also remind them of the practical consequences that take place when we choose not to follow His ways. Many children do not realize that once a photograph is on a cell phone, it can be put on the Internet where access is unlimited. Not only is this a problem for the morality of our children, but what they may not know, is that it is against the law. Our children can be caught in a web that they did not create nor want to be a part of simply by being a recipient of an unwanted picture. Our children need to be reminded that one dumb decision can have a lifetime of repercussions.

Don’t Be Afraid to Talk

So what is a parent to do? In my home, we removed the ability to access the Web and the transmission of pictures from their cell phones. This way our children cannot send nor receive photos that they didn’t asked for.
For some of us, these discussions can be so uncomfortable. I asked my daughter for her advice. “Don’t make a big deal out of it. Just talk about it in a normal voice or as you would anything else. It is really common in a teen’s life. If you make a big deal about it, they won’t want to talk about it.”
Don’t be afraid to talk about sexting with your teen. If you don’t bring it up, someone else will. Show your child you care by entering their world and addressing the hard stuff. You’ll be glad you did and even if they don’t tell you, they’ll be glad you did too!

Lynn Cowell writes from Charlotte, North Carolina where she is a part of the speaking team for Proverbs 31 Ministries. She writes every Wednesday on issues about teen culture. Join her at www.LynnCowell.com. She writes for your teens as well at www.HeIsThatIntoYou.com.

I Know I Should Pray More, But…

2010-02-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

by Julie Gillies

Let’s face it: life is sometimes a vortex of chaos. Attempting to schedule regular prayer time into an already overloaded day can be a recipe for frustration. Instead of feeling guilty about not praying enough, (can we ever pray enough?) or trying in vain to remember who or what I’m supposed to pray for, I've learned how to make prayer a priority by incorporating it into my crazy, never-quite-normal, everyday life in creative ways.

I think of prayer as an ongoing dialogue between God and me, not a one-time event relegated to a particular time of day. Though I maintain a morning prayer time, my prayers don't cease for the day when I say Amen and head out the door.

A lifestyle of prayer isn’t as difficult as it might sound. The following sure-fire strategies are guaranteed to help you experience more prayer power.

Fill mindless activities with prayer. For instance, I always pray while I vacuum and when I’m in the shower. It’s simply become habit for me. There are always opportunities for prayer sprinkled within each day. Other possible times to fit prayer into the day include:
· Any time you’re in the car
· While folding the laundry
· In line at the grocery store, the bank, etc.
· In the doctor’s waiting room
· Waiting for your dog to do their business (ahem)
· Waiting for your kids in the car pool line
· While scrubbing the bathroom
· While mopping or dusting
· When you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep

Consider using your daily walks, bike-riding, jogging or other exercise time as a prayer boost. It's a powerfully effective stress-busting combination.

Ask God to show you who to pray for. You might be surprised who He puts on your mind. I have two friends with late-stage breast cancer. The least I can do is pray for them, and God never fails to remind me.

Pray immediately when you become aware of a need. Don't tell yourself you'll pray later, because if you’re like me, chances are you won't remember. Tell yourself to stop, drop and pray right away when you hear of an urgent matter.

Don't just moan about all the horrible stuff on Headline News. Take a minute to pray about it. Yes, it's perfectly acceptable to pray in your recliner. However, when the ironing pile stacks up, I haul out the ironing board, turn on either local or national news, and pray while I iron.

Be willing to pray for someone on the spot. When a friend or neighbor tells you the awful situation they're in, don't just tell them you'll be praying for them and walk away. Ask if you can pray for them right there, and watch God move.

If you're forgetful, use a notepad to jot down the things you want covered in prayer. When things heat up at my house, I always start a prayer list. Keep the list in your Bible, on your nightstand, or taped to your bathroom mirror. You may also want to keep a small notepad in your car.
Remember, when we pray, we’re not only talking to God, we’re inviting Him to speak to us as well. Best of all, we can expect God to respond, and help us fit more prayer into our sometimes crazy lives.

Happy praying!

What the Bible has to say about prayer:

“Be unceasing in prayer—persevere in prayer…” 1 Thessalonians 5:17
“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” Ephesians 6:18
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak." Matthew 26:41

“First of all, then, I admonish and urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions and thanksgivings be offered on behalf of all men,” 1 Timothy 2:1

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12

Julie Gillies trained in an intercessory prayer group for five years. She is founder of Word Chicks, a prayer and encouragement group for women writers and speakers. Julie has published over 80 articles, and is a regular contributor to “A Time to Love,” an online magazine. You can visit Julie online at www.juliegillies.com

Freezer Meals In Minutes

2010-02-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

By Jennifer Schultz

It’s after 5:00 when you pull into the driveway. Your mind is racing from your busy day. With just one foot out of the car, you are greeted by your adoring children. “Hi Mom, what’s for dinner? I’m starving!” Ugghhh, that dreaded question that has to be answered each day, yet each day it catches you off guard. You walk in the house hoping to discover that canned goods really do multiply if left in a dark, cool place. Finally, you decide that “eating a variety of foods” consists of switching from McDonald’s to Burger King.

Most of us would like to plan ahead and organize dinners, but few of us have the time to actually do it. Freezer Meals In Minutes is an online service that will do that for you, saving you valuable time, and taking you step-by-step through the entire meal assembly process.

The Freezer Meals In Minutes process is so simple it can be prepared by one person, or with a group of women. You choose which recipes work best for your family (or families), then you will receive directions for assembly of the meals, recipes, a grocery list and instructions for preparation on serving day. Below is a sample recipe and how to prepare the meal on serving day.

Our freezer meal process does not involve any cooking on assembly day. Some recipes will require browning hamburger or cooking chicken before your meal assembly day. This allows for simple and easy meal preparation. You should allow 3 hours to assemble 10 meals. Below is a recipe from our web site.

Beef Taco Bake

1 Pound Ground Beef, cooked
1 Can (10 oz) Tomato Soup, condensed
1 Cup Salsa
1/2 Cup Milk
1/2 Cup Mexican Cheese, shredded
1 Envelope (1 oz) Taco Seasoning Mix
2 Each Freezer Bags
Instructions
Add all ingredients to a freezer bag. Double bag and label the outside bag. Lay the bag flat in the freezer. Thaw meal for 1-2 days in the refrigerator before serving.
Serving Day:
Add 6 flour tortillas cut into 1" pieces, to bagged ingredients. Place in a sprayed 9x13 baking dish. Bake at 400 degrees, covered for 30 minutes. Sprinkle with ½ cup shredded Mexican cheese. Optional: Serve with crumbled tortilla chips on top. May also serve with salsa and sour cream.

If you would like to simplify your dinner routine, log onto www.FreezerMealsInMinutes.com to choose recipes and receive more information about the process. If you have any questions feel free to contact Jennifer Schultz at info@freezermealsinminutes.com.

Here’s another great reason to use Freezer Meals In Minutes: Ten percent of all orders will go to Compassion International to help feed hungry children. For more information about Compassion International, visit their web site at www.Compassion.com.

When God Smiles

2010-01-01T17:23:00.000-05:00

By Beverly Hill McKinney

“Hey honey, you have a letter”, my husband, Jim said as he handed me the morning mail.
Since we retired and moved to Oregon, the daily mail delivery is a highlight. I enjoy emails and phone calls but getting a letter is a high point.

As Jim handed me the letter, I noticed it was addressed to “Grandma and Grandpa.” I immediately knew it was from our eight-year-old grandson, Jacob. Tearing open the envelope, I pulled out two sheets of paper. One was a letter to me and the other a drawing.

I carefully unfolded the letter and in giant script it read, “Grandma, I want to come visit you because you are my best friend. I love you, Jacob.”

The attached drawing was a mother hen and her baby chicks. The caption read, “To Grandma” with arrows pointing to the mother hen with the words “grown” next to it and arrows to the chicks with “babies”. The picture was special to me as it brought back memories of our visit to a petting farm when Jacob and our daughter came for a visit last year. Jacob lives in Southern California and does not get to see farm animals often. He enjoyed the miniature goats, the llamas and especially the ride on the horse, Doctor Pepper.

Looking at both these pages, I smiled at the love they conveyed. Thinking of him at his desk with his top teeth clamping his bottom lip, I felt such instant love for this child.

When I thought about the effort that went into the contents of that envelope, I thought how God must smile at us, his children, when we send love letters to Him. With our every prayer, we are telling him how much we love Him. Whether a whispered prayer on the go or a time spent in sweet fellowship with Him, it reflects our love for our best friend. Although just a simple letter, it is a lesson to us in how we can show greater love to our Savior.

Jacob’s letter did not ask for anything. He simply told me he loved me and I was his best friend. How often we approach our Lord and immediately begin our laundry list of things we need but forget to just sit in His presence and love Him for who He is, not asking for anything but being with Him. Yes, I do send things to Jacob as small “surprises” but his letter to me felt like he just wanted to sit in my lap and enjoy my presence.

Jacob also stated he wanted to come see me. Are we looking forward to our times of fellowship with the Lord or is it drudgery to spent time with our Friend? One of the highlights of Jacob’s visit each year is the time he and I spend in the patio swing and just talk together bringing each other up to date on what we have been doing. His quiet laughter and sharing are special both of us.

The other thing Jacob tells me in his letter is that he loves me. How many times in the day do we tell the Lord that we love him? God showed his love for us by sending his Son to die for us. Yet, do we stop and tell the one who died for us how much we love Him for loving us so much?
The picture Jacob drew also brought back memories. That day spent at the petting farm was a special time for us. Enjoying God’s creatures and seeing and petting newborn baby goats helped us to realize what a wonderful world God has given us. That day was a highlight of Jacob’s visit and he remembered the fun we had.

Our lives are a picture for our Lord of either happiness and contentment or discontent and unrest. If we were to draw a picture for God would we draw a beautiful picture, carefully showing how much He has done in our lives? Or would our picture be dark with despair and regrets for those times we have failed Him?

The Bible tells us how much the Lord loved children. He enjoyed spending time with them and wanting them to sit with him and love him. We are God’s children and we can either tell Him how much we love Him and the blessings He has given us, or spent the time with Him complaining about all the burdens we bear through our life.

In Matthew 18:3 (NIV) we are told that unless we become like children, we cannot enter the Kingdom of heaven. May we become as little children and enjoy the blessings and excitement of the life God has given us, daily spending time in His presence, loving Him, and just wanting to be with Him. As we praise Him, love Him and look forward to spending eternity with Him, I am sure God smiles.

Make Piles of Papers and Magazines Disappear: Steps You Can Take to Conquer Clutter

2010-01-01T17:19:00.002-05:00

By Eileen Koff

Reduce Junk Mail
It’s not the mailman’s fault! Stop the junk mail from coming into your home forever. You can fight back. There are many services to help you eliminate junk mail on the internet. Some provide a free service. For example, go to http://charityguide.org/volunteer/fifteen/junk-mail.htm. It will only cost you time, recording unwanted catalogue titles and other unwanted mail. Or, for a small fee, you can go www.41pounds.org and they will take your information and do it for you

Give Your Papers a Home
Many times paper piles accumulate because they have no home. Current papers that come into the home such as bills, upcoming events, information that belongs to someone else and items that need reviewing for decisions are just a few categories for incoming papers.

Desktop File for Action Items
Give those papers a home by using a desktop file system. A desktop file can be purchased at www.thecontainerstore.com, www.RoseLaneCottage.com, or at your favorite office product store. Their main purpose is to keep all action-oriented files in one neat and accessible place so that you aren’t hunting for papers beneath mountains of piles.

For example, if you have five envelopes in your mailbox- two are bills, one is an invitation for a birthday party, one is a school-related item for your daughter and one goes to your husband for review, you can quickly organize them with your desktop system. Set up a file labeled for each related item. The bills will be housed in your bill folder, your up-coming event will be housed in a folder called “Events,” your daughters’ school information will be housed in a folder with her name on it, and any information needing your husband’s attention will be housed in his folder with his name.

Remember, these are NOT resource files, but an action system that is to contain only those things that are action oriented or those things that need your immediate attention. My clients create what I call a “hot” red folder for any action that must be completed within a 24-48 hour period. The key is to remember to use your system everyday. This maintains the inflow and output of your folders, insuring that your items receive daily attention.

Warranties and Instructions

Most of my clients have bulging file cabinets because their warranty and instruction manuals are placed there. I recommend getting a file tote instead. Find a decorative tote in which you can customize the labels. Go room by room and find all the items that have warranty information.
For example, in your den you may have a TV, stereo equipment, DVD and gaming equipment. Label a section in your tote “Den.” File all warranty and instruction information for each product under the specific room, not under what the item is. A filing system works well when information is easily accessible and retrievable.

To learn more on paper management, contact Eileen at www.tothenextlevel.net